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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gifting things I already own- am I being cheap?

171 replies

madamedesevigne · 02/12/2020 16:07

I have a friend who has similar taste to me. I’ve read a really good book that I think she would enjoy, and own a copy. I’m never likely to read it again and it’s in very good condition. Would I be unreasonable to give it to her for Christmas wrapped up instead of buying another new copy?

OP posts:
thepeopleversuswork · 02/12/2020 16:55

I know this is really unpopular and not environmentally friendly but I do think regifting is a bit cheap tbh.

I have a friend who makes a point of always either regifting or giving really shit joke presents. She thinks its really creative and environmentally friendly, I think it makes her look a) mean and b) as if she hasn't put much thought into it.

Depends how its done: if you say to her: I loved this, I'd like to give it to you because I already have a copy but I'll get you something else I think its fine.

Passing it off as a new gift when its not is a bit tacky. If you can't afford a gift just get a card/buy a drink or front it out.

Lucked · 02/12/2020 16:57

I give away books all the time so I would give it to a friend as an extra but not in place of a gift.

Happyheartlovelife · 02/12/2020 17:02

Brilliant idea! We live in a disposable society. There is no need to buy anything new. Apart from food!

Good for you. If it helps I was gift an 1890 copy of les mis. Which is obviously second hand!

SciFiScream · 02/12/2020 17:02

A friend once gave me a well loved book as a gift. She wrote a very personal message inside the book. I will always treasure that gift. It was given with so much love, care and thought.

If I'm your friend I'd love it.

AudTheDeepMinded · 02/12/2020 17:08

Great idea, the world needs less buying of new things full stop. Much better for the environment, well done!

diddl · 02/12/2020 17:10

I love books & always buy 2nd hand, so I think-why shouldn't someone do the same for me?

I don't buy new books for myself-so why should anyone else?

Although I reaslise that this isn't quite the same as Op isn't buying the book specifically with her friend in mind.

But along with other stuff, why not?

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 02/12/2020 17:13

Do it! We need to normalise secondhand presents. And as @SciFiScream says you could write a note in the front saying how much you loved it and why you think they will, too. I think it's a really thoughtful gift. Chuck in a bottle of wine and some chocolates and I'd be doubly pleased!

…Unless we've all loved this pandemic so much that we're happy to continue with mass consumption Grin

hitchhikingghost · 02/12/2020 17:14

It’s cheap (unless you are skint). Give her the book unwrapped, and another gift..maybe something to go with reading, like a nice tea cup and fancy tea..

TheSoapyFrog · 02/12/2020 17:16

In this instance, no I wouldn't re-gift. I wouldn't re-gift any used items. If I thought a friend would love a book I'd read, I'd just send it to them. I'd make an exception for hard covers or hard to find editions. But paperback books only cost a few quid anyway and you could get a second hand one for as little as 50p, so it seems a bit tight to me.

Charleyhorses · 02/12/2020 17:17

I would.
Just about to stick last year's hardbacks on Freecycle. Ideal for gifts. I've read them once. Look new.

INeedNewShoes · 02/12/2020 17:24

Although I feel as though there is a shift in feeling about regifting that needs to happen, I do feel as though it's a brilliant idea. There's too much stuff in the world.

However, I feel as though it needs to be by prior agreement and definitely not passed off as a 'new' item.

IrmaFayLear · 02/12/2020 17:26

I am sending dsis two new books and a couple of ones that I’ve read recently, but the latter will not be wrapped!

If it’s an old second-hand book searched for carefully - fine. One you read and then are hoping the spine doesn’t look bent or there isn’t a chocolatey thumb print in.... no, that’s just trying to pass off something as unused rather than being eco.

SonjaMorgan · 02/12/2020 17:29

I would but would either speak to her about buying used books or I would add in something extra.

Cbeebiesismyworld · 02/12/2020 17:31

We should all be buying more second hand and regifting. There’s too much “stuff” in the world and pointlessly adding to it for the sake of it is awful. I think it’s a great idea.

instanthistoryy · 02/12/2020 17:34

It depends. I have one friend and we do this, we gift new and old things that we think the other would like. But we don't pretend they're brand new. Could you just include it in the parcel and say you read it already and knew she'd love it so it would be silly to buy another copy.

My other friends, however, would hate this. So depends on what she's like.

ArabellaScott · 02/12/2020 17:34

I wish more people would do this, cut down on the mad consumption and give thoughtful gifts.

IrmaFayLear · 02/12/2020 17:35

But it’s the passing off as new that is the sticking point. After all, you would be cross if you bought something from eBay described as new and it wasn’t.

It’s fine to pass on read books - who wouldn’t? - but the OP is talking about examining the spine for creases which implies she is trying to make the book look unread.

TenShortStories · 02/12/2020 17:54

I would save it and send it as a 'book that you've read that you thought she'd like' in January or sometime rather than as part of her Christmas gift package. I was originally going to say go for it because I wouldn't mind, but given the number of people that would mind I wouldn't risk her being offended.

Floralnomad · 02/12/2020 17:55

It’s one thing giving someone a book that you’ve read it’s totally different wrapping it up and calling it a Christmas present .

Hotpinkparade · 02/12/2020 17:56

We live in a world of limited resources. Buying something just for the sake of it being new, when the old version would be just as appreciated, is completely ridiculous. Your friend will enjoy your copy just as much as she would a new one!

eaglejulesk · 02/12/2020 17:57

Great idea OP. I would be perfectly happy to receive a book you already owned - but then I am a huge believer in recycling items rather than constantly buying new and contributing to the demise of the planet. My friend and I often give each other lovely gifts which are not new - in fact, as well as giving gifts we already own we also buy them from second hand shops. Some very precious people on MN.

chuffinno · 02/12/2020 17:57

As it's part of a larger gift I think it's absolutely fine to include it. Maybe don't wrap it - she'll be thankful to have received it but won't be miffed about a used book being passed off as an Xmas gift.

MrDarcyismines · 02/12/2020 17:57

Why not!

A little different (I was 16) I bought a CD for a friend, it wasn't shrink wrapped so I took it out and copied it onto another CD for me and wrapped up the original for her. Grin

Salamander91 · 02/12/2020 18:01

I think it's a great idea but I'd probably buy something to go alongside it (wine, chocs etc)

halcyondays · 02/12/2020 18:01

I think it’s fine. If I have read a book once it usually still looks like new because I don’t dog ear the pages or anything.

I can’t see what the issue is and I would be quite happy to receive a book that you had read.