Gifting things I already own- am I being cheap?

[madamedesevigne]

I have a friend who has similar taste to me. I’ve read a really good book that I think she would enjoy, and own a copy. I’m never likely to read it again and it’s in very good condition. Would I be unreasonable to give it to her for Christmas wrapped up instead of buying another new copy?

If she loves books and you think she would like this one then go for it. Me and my friend usually do a preloved book gift in a pledge to encourage our charity shopping which we used to do loads of together. Made us search out good bargains for titles we'd enjoy.

I've put YABU. I think its a lovely idea and you should definitely send it to her but I don't think you should wrap it up and present it as a gift. Say I'm giving this to you because I loved it and I think you will too. It's my copy but I want you to have it.

What's the book op?

more people should do this.

There should not be this taboo around gifting pre-used things if it is something you know the recipient would enjoy.

Yanbu.

As other posters have said gift her the book with something new and edible to go along with it. Maybe her favourite beverages like a nice set of coffee, hot chocolates, or teas or snacks.

It’s one thing giving someone a book that you’ve read it’s totally different wrapping it up and calling it a Christmas present

In a nutshell, @Floralnomad.

YABU to call it 'gifting' when you mean 'giving'.

Whether or not you're BU about the book has to do with your relationship. I'd happily give/receive a once-read hardback, but I'm also quite happy with books from the charity shop as presents (I love rooting around for out of print children's books). If she's not into secondhand books I think maybe she might not like it?

@Floralnomad

It’s one thing giving someone a book that you’ve read it’s totally different wrapping it up and calling it a Christmas present .

100% this. I always pass on books (whether to friends or charity) but I would never count it as a Christmas/birthday present, I feel that would be rude to try and pass it off as a gift.

I don’t see why not. Plenty of people do second hand gifts why would a book be any different? I’d be delighted if one of my friends did that for me.

I don’t see why not. I’ve done this with a sister, since I know she enjoys the same sort of book. She’d do the same to me, but then we’re not precious about presents.
Whether it’s something we’re going to enjoy, is much more to the point.
I’d rather have a really good book any day, used or not, than bath stuff/hand cream, etc.

I'd much rather get something picked cos I love it - whether new or not to some piece of tat that cost a lot for no reason at all. I think it's perfect OP!

I’d regift something never used as a Xmas/ birthday present but I’d simply give a book that had been read.

However, it sounds like you’ve made it as part of a bundle Sonora gine.

I need a delete/ edit button!!!

I think if it is a signed copy of Mein Kampf, it would be well received (if distasteful) as it would be worth a lot of money. If it is a copy of Dan Brown's latest 'block-buster' less so... even if it was signed by Genghis Khan.

You can totally do this! Posting things overseas is always expensive so the amount spent on the actual present is only half of the thought and time and effort. Add a note saying you read the book and thought she would love it to so you included it in the parcel.

YANBU to give it to a friend.

YABU to give it as a gift.

Depends on her really. Mostly I’d just hand it over.

Lots of my friends and especially my young adult kids have a very green outlook though and a second hand book would be entirely acceptable as a gift. I’ve got several from a national trust bookshop for the kids stockings and I know they’ll love them.

@UntamedWisteria

more people should do this.

There should not be this taboo around gifting pre-used things if it is something you know the recipient would enjoy.

Exactly!

The amount of people on here that moan about capitalism and say they're concerned for the environment yet couldn't possibly give someone a book they'd like that's in perfect condition as a gift. And the OP already said this person is someone they'd give a book as a present rather than lend/give anyway.

It's a great idea OP and you really didn't need to ask on here.

Why don’t you just give her the book because she would like it not as a Christmas gift but just a kindness. This reminds me of the time my in-laws won a raffle prize and gifted it to my husband (their son) for Christmas with nothing else.

No! That's definitely cheap. My Grandma did this to me once and I wasn't impressed!

@Allgirlskidsanddogs

YANBU to give it to a friend.

YABU to give it as a gift.

You do know what a gift is? It’s an item given to one person by another with no money changing hands. A gift isn’t some extra special item that has to be brand new.

Of course it's fine. It's incredibly wasteful to buy another copy. We need to get past this shit.

@INeedNewShoes

Although I feel as though there is a shift in feeling about regifting that needs to happen, I do feel as though it's a brilliant idea. There's too much stuff in the world.

However, I feel as though it needs to be by prior agreement and definitely not passed off as a 'new' item.

You’ve hit the nub of it for me. If you usually buy each other things of equal value, but this year you send her a book you’ve finished with (which is slightly different, in my mind, to a second hand book bought for someone) while she spends £30 on a pair of new earrings thinks you’ll love, that’s a bit off. If on the other hand, it’s the kind of thing you often do for each other at Xmas and birthday, that seems fine.

Maybe you could use this time as an opportunity to readjust your mutual gifting practices?

It’s all very well posters commending the OP’s eco credentials, but the OP intends passing it off as new, as she mentions it looks unread. That is very different from being open about giving something used.

I would also err on the side of caution. Mil mentioned a book she’d enjoyed at school. I tracked it down via a book search company and presented it to her for Christmas with much aplomb, expecting fulsome praise. Mil said in stage whisper to fil, “Why has Irma given me a book from a charity shop ?” Bah.