Gifting things I already own- am I being cheap?

[madamedesevigne]

I have a friend who has similar taste to me. I’ve read a really good book that I think she would enjoy, and own a copy. I’m never likely to read it again and it’s in very good condition. Would I be unreasonable to give it to her for Christmas wrapped up instead of buying another new copy?

Damn! OK then, I won’t do it. I got it as part of a gift subscription box, so I can arrange for her to receive the same gift subscription box (with new copy of book inside) and then send the chocolate and stuff for her son separately. And then give my copy to somebody else.

Hmmmm, something feels off about it, although I'm not sure why. I think a PPs idea of suggesting that you do preloved gifts a good one - but to wrap it up and gift it without doing this gives the false impression implies that you have specifically bought it for her, and so is kind of misleading her.

If I wasn't going to read it again and would only give it to a charity shop then I would just give the book to my friend, it would be separate from Christmas presents altogether. I would get a gift as well.

Or if you are skint I would rather you said I'm short of cash so heres a card and a book I thought you'd like, and give it to me unwrapped.I don't know why it seems weird to wrap it as a gift.

Agree with those that would be miffed....

Unless you are skint, in which case she will understand....

If you aren't ... I would give it to her as part of her present but be upfront.... wrapping it with a cheeky note saying this is one I loved and thought you would too... alongside another present...

So long as you aren't pretending, I totally get it

Absolutely fine. I would not mind used gifts. Better to reuse and regift in good condition and save the planet.

@madamedesevigne

Damn! OK then, I won’t do it. I got it as part of a gift subscription box, so I can arrange for her to receive the same gift subscription box (with new copy of book inside) and then send the chocolate and stuff for her son separately. And then give my copy to somebody else.

Why? Just do it. Sounds lovely. It's the thought behind it - that she'll like it - that is the important thing, not whether you spent another £7.99.

I bet the author would tell you the same, and they're really the only ones who count.

well its better than a half eaten packet of biscuits

@madamedesevigne

Damn! OK then, I won’t do it. I got it as part of a gift subscription box, so I can arrange for her to receive the same gift subscription box (with new copy of book inside) and then send the chocolate and stuff for her son separately. And then give my copy to somebody else.

Just do it. Be kind to the planet.

@madamedesevigne

It’s a friend who lives overseas and it would be part of a small parcel of gifts like chocolate, a toy car for her little boy, a DVD... I absolutely could afford to buy her something else but it seems pointless if I already have something I think she’d like (which I will otherwise give away to a charity shop)

In that case, do it.

When I lived overseas, it was hard to buy English language books. One year my brother pasked up 7 or 8 books from his bookshelf and sent them to us. It was the bestpresent ever. Some of them were quite worn. we didn't care, it felt like a really thoughful present.

In my recent experience of Amazon books even the new books arrive looking like they've been read! I wouldn't think anything of it even if I suspected a book was a re-gift. I love a book gift!

I would be very happy that you had thought about what I enjoy. The fact you've read it first is a non issue to me but I'm so not grabby.

I think it's a great idea

@madamedesevigne - is the subscription box "books that matter"?
I heard a piece about it on R4 recently, and am quite interested. Is the subscription worth it?

[quote EveryDayIsADuvetDay]@madamedesevigne - is the subscription box "books that matter"?
I heard a piece about it on R4 recently, and am quite interested. Is the subscription worth it?[/quote]
Ah no, it’s another one, the London Review of Books one. It was a lockdown treat to myself!

I hate it when people regift like they've just bought it especially for you. One of my colleagues does it every year but forgets who bought her he original gift - it's rude.

Give her he book and buy her a present.

Regift! The world has too much stuff!
Just make sure she knows you’ve read it already, don’t try and fob off as new

I would give it to her, but not for Christmas.

Why waste paper and money buying another? If it's not the only thing you're sending her I think it's fine.

I often read a book before I give it to someone if it looks good

I can’t do regifting. Draw the line at giving my friends second hand presents without telling them.

My friend gave me a small piece of art porcelain ( of a bird skull) from her collection. I loved it. She didn’t give it to me because it was unwanted by her she gave it to me despite loving it herself because she knew I’d love it. That is a true gift as far as I’m concerned. I would be happy to receive the book if it was a special title you thought I’d enjoy. I’ve asked for books this year from DH and told him I’m happy to receive second hand. Most second hand books I’ve bought have been practically new looking so I don’t have any issues with it. You might want to suggest pre loved presents to her though to save her trawling through a million scarves or earrings etc online for you.

If you're sending stuff anyway, put the book in unwrapped with a "thought you might also enjoy this".

@Shoxfordian

I often read a book before I give it to someone if it looks good

Yeah, I did the same thing a year or so ago. I always feel that I should have read a book before giving it as a present cos how would I know if it was good enough for them otherwise?

Bottle of wine or some unopened chocs well within date OK, but a book?

If it is a hardback one, then possibly.