Is this behaviour bizarre? (IL related)

[justaquicknamechange1]

Have nc'd as have told a few friends about this in RL and obviously don't want to be outed.

DD has her first session at nursery next week - she's doing an hour long settle session. She's only ever been left with DH, for a maximum of 2hrs, so I am dreading it a little bit (more so for me, I'm sure she'll be fine).

ILs have asked if they can come and "see her off" aka watch me drop her into nursery. I said no because a. There's absolutely no need for them to come. They can't come into the nursery, they'll literally be watching me and her walk in through the door; b. DD doesn't see them very often so it will just add to the confusion; c. I might get upset, DD might get upset and they'll just be there with their judgy pants on and most importantly d. I don't want them there.

MIL's now posting on social media about feeling pushed out, uninvolved etc.

Before I tell DH to give her head a wobble, what's the general consensus on this?

Obviously I appreciate there's much more important things going on in the world right now, I just don't want to rain on her parade if it's the "done thing."

Very strange behaviour. I would use the excuse that it may be more unsettling for your dd to have more people around on her first day. But still very odd behaviour!

Oh dear. Weird enough that they want to do it in the first place and selfish too - not thinking of how it might be too much for your daughter adding to the fuss.

but to then spout about it on SM. Not conducive to healthy relations.

Just reply to her regarding the unloved bit and say you don't want to upset DD more by having to leave her GPs as well as her mom behind

It isn't strange for them to want to be part of her milestones, but also not strange for you to say no. How did you respond to them? I don't think PA social media postings are acceptable but how wounded she feels may be down to how you responded. Of course, she could just be a twat.

Really odd. I would say it would be unsettling for DD and maybe say nursery has strict rules in place about how many people drop off or something? Maybe say there's likely to be a queue of other parents and it will be harder to social distance from them?

I'm sure it will all go well at nursery with DD but sending love

Absolutely bizarre behaviour! I’d definitely be getting your DH to tell them it’s not happening, and they can give over with the “poor me” crap on social media.

In my family “seeing them off” was a thing for starting school not nursery, so certainly not a thing no. I have no doubt they wanted to be the doting GP on social media, and nothing more.

@TidyDancer

It isn't strange for them to want to be part of her milestones, but also not strange for you to say no. How did you respond to them? I don't think PA social media postings are acceptable but how wounded she feels may be down to how you responded. Of course, she could just be a twat.

The text I sent was -

"Hi MIL, really kind of you to offer to come however I feel it might be a bit overwhelming for DD as it is. Perhaps I could swing by with her after (all being well)?"

Also - really weird and petty of her to post on SM. Is she 12??

Our nursery ask for one parent / carer per pick up and drop off to make SD easier.

But yes their expectations are bizarre!

Your MIL is a weirdo. For wanting to "see her off" but even more so for posting on social media. What a dick.

Ok, glad this is the consensus. @KatieGGGG you've hit the nail on the head I think.
They're all about the SM image but in reality have very, very little to do with any of the GC.

Totally ridiculous from MIL and not usual

Your message to her sounds totally reasonable, and you offered a way for her to be involved, you didn't just say no. So need at all for her to be childish about it.

@GuineaPigPosie

Also - really weird and petty of her to post on SM. Is she 12??

She would be if you divided her age by 7

Weird, selfish and attention seeking of your ILs. Anyone with any common sense would realise that the most important thing about first day of nursery is keeping everything calm and reassuring for DC. Turning it into a 3 ring circus is not sensible at all.

Not strange to ask, not strange to be refused, very strange to have a tantrum on SM about said refusal!

Yeah, think she wanted the photo opportunity and the likes.
Your reply was spot on. Nothing to complain about there.

Weird. Your message was fine too.

Best option- hide her on social media and go about your life.

Seems weird to me! They've already had their "first day of...." with their own kids.

Yep defo sounds like they're after a photo opportunity. It would be weird I think and your response was very polite. The passive aggression fb status says it all really.

I think it's quite sweet, plenty of families do similar on the first day at school but they maybe just got over excited.

But the tedious posting on Facebook would mean they could fuck off, tbh.

Very strange behaviour. “Normal” GP’s want to be involved in milestones of course, but if they were really that interested, they would prefer seeing her afterwards going by your text as at least they could spend time with your DD. The fact she’s posted it on SM says more about projecting a certain image. I’d lay money down on her just wanting a picture for the day to post on SM but without having to do any actual GPing bit. Has she form for this kind of behaviour or mentioned anything about being pushed out before?

Yes it is 100% bizarre