To ask what your relationship is like with your MIL/DP’s mother?

[Lila653]

Wondering whether the stereotype of woman struggling with mother in law is that true in reality. What is your relationship like? And has it changed over time? By stereotype I just mean it is often portrayed in TV/film.

I think I started off in a better place with MIL than I am now - several years down the line I find more and more grating/irritating, probably unfairly in some ways! Is this normal?

DH doesn’t have a great relationship with his parents so maybe this has something to do with it!

Started off a bit rocky first year or two. There’s bit of tension between DH and SIL at times which made it a little awkward at times.

She’s a nice woman, quite introverted and most people in the family relate to her as her “role”- mother, wife, sister rather than as a person. I made a bit of an effort, asked her about her degree, what she likes to read (it’s her passion) and she came out of herself a bit and it improved a lot for a few years.

Now it’s cordial enough but more distant. When my dad died she and FIL sent me a card but never said anything to me in person when I saw them, so I put my guard up a bit. She spends a lot more time with SIL than DH now and it would kind of be a bit contrived for me to make more of it than it is.

My MIL is a wonderful, nurturing and kind soul. I am blessed with an amazing mum and MIL and am a better mummy myself for it. I can't wait for restrictions to ease so we can see her again in person FaceTime just isn't the same

I loved mine. Sadly she's dead now, but she was a lovely kind and caring woman who adored her family and they all adored her.

Not close to mine. She massively prefers SIL to DH and as an extension DN over my DS.

She isnt horrible and does spend some time with DS. But I cant forgive how she treats DH so she will always be at arms length to me.

Luckily my family treat him like one of their own.

So nice to see some positive mil stories. I have a great mother in law. She is kind, easy going and straight forward. She has a very busy life and doesn't over burden us or make demands. She is fun to be around and loves a glass of fizz.

She's much easier than my own mother tbh. I love my mum but she's hard work. Sheds stuck in an unhappy relationship with my dad. She resents my brother snd I for moving away and takes it out on me particularly as I'm a girl and have a 'duty' to be there for her. Grrr I'll take my mil thanks

Pretty good! We get on but I wouldn't say we are super close. She is generally a lovely person and adores her grandchildren. We are quite different in some ways - she very much believes in traditional gender roles and this did cause some tension when I went back to work full time after having DCs but she never really said anything to my face - it was more passive aggressive. But a few years on she has accepted that it's our choice and seems to have moved on.

Hate her. Shes a horrible woman, kicked each of her sons out 1 by 1. My DP moved out of her house and she stopped talking to him because he wasn't giving her board money anymore. Vile cow she really is.

We have a wonderful relationship. Thanks to 4000km distance and language barrier we just do pleasantries through my DH when he calls her😂

She is lovely though. Genuinely kind person. Sometimes I am bit sorry we can't have proper relationship, but she could be overbearing and would butt into everything from what DH told me so maybe it's for the best.

We aren't close but I like her and I think she likes me. My OH was telling me the other day that she was saying to him that he couldn't have picked a better person to have children with and she thinks I'm an amazing Mum which made me feel really happy. She doesn't interfere at all and is quite a quiet lady but we do see her regularly mainly because of our DD before she was born we didn't see her much.

Mine has been lovely, very supportive and respectful to me. She adores the kids and keeps telling us what great parents we are. She's also helped out very generously with their uni costs, so no complaints here at all.

Fine for 25 years, then fil died, and she turned on her sons and dils. Accused us of stealing from her (difficult when there was the English Channel in the way), and threatened us with Court.

We haven't spoken in 8 years now, and the last time she spoke to us without anger was in 2011. She has alienated her sons, her dils and her three adult grandchildren. Her loss, not ours. It's not dementia; it was her sons telling her 'no' that caused it.

I love my MIL so much, she’s a great mum to DH and grandma to our two dc.

I chat to her all the time and call her mum - I don’t have one and she’s filled that space for me.

I met her a few weeks into dating DH, almost 10 years ago.

I adore my MIL. She's batshit crazy, never stops talking (if it enters her head it comes out of her mouth) and never holds back. She and my PIL come round for dinner once a week (normally, and I've really missed it during lockdown) and we play golden oldie tunes, drink wine and laugh a lot.

I will be devastated when she's gone. She's a shining light in our lives.