Hate this 80% of the time

[Nomoreboobs]

Start off by saying, I adore my Dd, 2.6 years old. We waited years to have her and some days are amazing..but, the majority aren’t. Does/has anyone else found this age ridiculously hard? Does it get easier, if so, when is that exactly?
My life feels like an endless cycle at the moment and recently I’ve felt myself really pining for my child free days-they were so easy..but then I feel guilty.
I remember years ago, a friend who had a small child explained it to me as being ‘Relentless’ my mum said it was an awful thing to say and that it wasn’t..I’m inclined to feel my friend was right,

Yeah, that period where they are mobile but there's no talking sense to them is pretty tough, constant chasing after them, it's exhausting. Agree with other around 4 is when it gets easier, you can reason with them but they're still quite babyish, that's one of my favourite stages

@StatisticallyChallenged

Utterly relentless. Actually that's not quite true. Most of the time two year olds are horrendous, but with brief interludes of outrageous cuteness where they come and snuggle in for a story, or look at a Christmas tree like it's magical, when they melt your heard. I think it's a survival technique.

My 10 year old calls the two year old satan...

This. All this is true. I knew what was coming (last of friends and family to have dc due to fertility problems) yet still the reality is brutal. I feel selfish for just wanting a bit of alone time but know it is really important. At the moment, everything is a fight - nappies, getting dressed, teeth - and it is just so draining. Then come the cuddles and you think, ok, I can cope a bit longer.

Tbh lockdowns all year have not helped...

@BoomyBooms

Ok this is terrifying because my daughter isnt one yet and I've found the the up until very recently to be horrendous. I know toddlers will be hard in different ways, but is it possible that different mum's will find different ages hard?

Having said that I sometimes get frustrated with DS recently (which I do) - at the same time, I've found everything from age 1+ to be loads, loads, loads better than I found the newborn/little baby/slightly older baby stage. I don't want to go on about it because it's irrelevant and a bit insensitive on a thread about someone struggling with a toddler (I have waxed lyrical on threads where people hate the baby stage, though!) but for me I definitely found that I was not a baby person but am much more of a toddler person (and even if I hate everything from age 2.5 on, which could happen, we've had 18 great months!) and I always want to share that with people struggling with the baby stage because I really thought that I was just a fundamentally crap mother for not liking it when he was baby because everyone told me it would just get harder and harder and so far, for me that has not been true and I wish I could tell 2018 me that!

I think 2 is the hardest age; my DD is now 3 and she can still be hard work but I can negotiate a bit more with her and she can engage in activities for longer. I love my DC but parenting is relentless.

Mine is just above 2 now, and she is extremely cute. But she will still take the line of asking for something then having a shrieking fit when I try to give her the item she has specifically requested. She doesn't make sense at all, but she is very cute nonetheless.

I couldn't cope without time at nursery TBH, is that an option? She loves it, but will still (obviously) have a tantrum about leaving to go there before bouncing with excitement when we arrive and running off inside with a BYE over her shoulder.

Loathe the toddler age do not get why so many think its the best time. All the mmememememememe and constant attention needs is just horrific Give me a preschooler or a newborn any day (or teenagers I blinking love them as teenagers)

@MarshaBradyo

It’s the little stuff like if I move a spoon absentmindedly

Really needs things right!

Mine too, and I never know quite when to fight my battles? If I don't sit in the one chair in the living room that he has randomly decided I shouldn't sit in, presumably because I rarely do, is that pandering to his belief that he can control the world and creating a mini-tyrant, or is it a reasonable strategy to get through the morning?!

I came out the other side once ds started school

Even when they are lovely and life is going well, there is just something extremely relentless about the toddler ages.

It just doesn't stop.

But it gets better! Mostly once they understand the idea of entertaining themsleves for an hour or so.

Every child is different. Many toddlers are hard work ( relentless is not an unfair description). However, I would be careful pinning your hopes that it'll all be okay once they turn 4,5 or 6. Parenthood keeps changing and it doesn't stop being hard, the challenges just change.
Learn to embrace the gorgeous moments of every stage and accept that there is always a chance of trying times regardless of their age.

I really, really like my 4 year old. She is great and amusing company. My teenagers are also great and amusing, when they can bothered to talk to me.

I didn't much like any of them between the ages of 2.5-3.5.

Hang in there.

I think if you sit on the floor, accept mess, watch old films and drink lots of tea it can be pretty ok.

It's if you try to do anything productive it all goes to shit.

I hated the toddler years, I felt suicidal.

I can't remember when it got better for me, after having two DC with a 3 year 9 month age gap it was a long set of miserable years for a while.

Through the toddler and some of the early years I honestly wished I hadn't bothered, and certainly regretted having a second DC.

Fast forward to now, they're 17 and 13 and I am so glad I had them both. Teenagers are so much easier!

Looking back I wish I'd sent them to the childminder more often!

My ds is 2.5 and adorable but stubborn. Full I will not stamping feet and lying down in puddles. Mortifying when in public.
Grandma thinks he's the best thing ever though... I regularly need wine at the end of a full day.
Feeling your pain op!

What are the barriers to putting her in nursery a couple of days a week? Financial, Covid, guilt on your part, separation anxiety?

Like a few pps my son went to nursery form age 1 because we needed childcare but I have been amazed at how good it has been for him (he’s 4 now) and I genuinely would not recommend any parent to send their child to school without having done any sort of group childcare setting beforehand. If you were in the U.K. you’d get 15/30 hours a week funding from the term after she turns 3 and I am sure a lot of families who take that up have SAHMS. There is no shame in it. It’s great to see how they respond to trained teaching in terms of development and we learned lots of useful communication techniques from nursery- “listening ears”, how to talk about feelings etc. And they are doing a great job teaching him how to wipe his own bottom!

Hardback ha

I haven’t given it much thought but I reckon dictating to me is a nope

But formulating her world is ok

Since starting nursery, where they encourage dc to get own food, plates, put them back etc, I have to let her do everything herself.

Not always easy but at least the nursery is good!

Also, if you are in a non-English speaking country maybe nursery would help with local language acquisition?

Every stage has its challenges- personally I found the early teens the hardest ....

Parenting is relentless... I stopped at one .

It definitely is a toddler thing and I clearly remember some days feeling so monotonous and never ending.

That will pass and life will become easier until they become teenagers that is!!

Not as hard as stroppy teenagers that’s for sure but hard
I loved the teenage years and would have them back in a heartbeat. They were the best years.
I hated the ages 2 to 3 on the whole. Awful.

Teen is a complete doddle compared. But he’s an easy version

Also [whispers]...have you tried an iPad?

Totally agree that some form of childcare/nursery would be ideal if possible for you? I was a SAHM but even so put my DS into a pre school setting from 2, luckily we could afford it, but it was great for him (an only child) and for me. Even before that I used a child minder one half day a week and our local gym had a crèche (the only time I have ever used the gym regularly ).

@MarshaBradyo

Hardback ha

I haven’t given it much thought but I reckon dictating to me is a nope

But formulating her world is ok

Since starting nursery, where they encourage dc to get own food, plates, put them back etc, I have to let her do everything herself.

Not always easy but at least the nursery is good!

That's the line I try and draw, too - so I don't move out of the chair in question when he demands I do. But I do sometimes not sit in it when I can't be bothered to deal with the tantrum... In practice, this means I have one chair in my living room that I sometimes sit in and then think 'oh fuck...' - it isn't even a comfortable chair, which is why I don't often sit there!

YANBU at all. DH keeps suggesting we have family weekends away with the three year old once covid is over and I get a terrible case of "same shit, different location".

Go for nursery/some sort of third party care, even if it's just 1/2 mornings a week. It'll be good for both of you. The other thing I like is routine - we have a special thing we do most mornings or afternoons to avoid the whole day stretching out ahead of us like a crap American highway strewn with Duplo, Peppa and weetabix.