Hate this 80% of the time

[Nomoreboobs]

Start off by saying, I adore my Dd, 2.6 years old. We waited years to have her and some days are amazing..but, the majority aren’t. Does/has anyone else found this age ridiculously hard? Does it get easier, if so, when is that exactly?
My life feels like an endless cycle at the moment and recently I’ve felt myself really pining for my child free days-they were so easy..but then I feel guilty.
I remember years ago, a friend who had a small child explained it to me as being ‘Relentless’ my mum said it was an awful thing to say and that it wasn’t..I’m inclined to feel my friend was right,

[NobleElephantheThird]

To be honest children just go through phases and it can be incredibly hard at times and you just have to stick it out. My 7 year old DS has recently been much more challenging than he has ever been with us, he was a "dream" toddler, really helpful, attentive, quiet, good at playing by himself. My DD was a nightmare toddler, chatting and arguing about everything pretty much 24/7 but seems to be a lovely and caring teenager (which has come as a big surprise). I think it is important to remember that usually when a child is challenging they are going through some major development and when they are older, it can be hormonal or they are struggling with something in their life.

[FelicisNox]

YANBU and yes, she is pushing every button and boundary she can think of as she's testing her own boundaries. She wants to see how far she can push you.

There's a brilliant page on Twitter called: Am I The Asshole Parent or something similar and it's all about toddlers throwing tantrums over the most ridiculous things... Read it, it will lighten your day.

Mother of 6 here: we're told from the get go that being a mother is the most natural, loving and wonderful experience on Earth and if we are anything but #SoBlessed every day we are basically failing at parenting and life and it's utter bullshit.

No one tells you how hard it is, how stressful it is, how we often have no clue what we're doing or, how downright bloody boring it can be.

You're not alone and there's a great book too called "why mummy drinks".

Parenting is HARD and when you've had trouble conceiving it can hit you really hard when you don't get the "Disneyfied" version of family life so be kind to yourself, try and laugh it off and remember that you can't go out on the lash anyway at the moment but as soon as lockdown is over you get out with the girls.

[littleharissa]

@Elfblossom

I'm sorry but I have to wholeheartedly disagree. And so does a majority of the science and research.

I've worked with hundreds of children and yes parenting has a huge impact on a child, but equally so do a lot of other things.

OP, no one ever finds the entirety of parenting easy.

I flourished during the newborn stage, but I find the toddler years really tough.

Also a teacher, so I thought I would know what I'm doing, but I definitely feel lost some days.

You're not alone, trust me

[TattyDevine]

Toddlers are a pain in the arse.

They just become rather more bearable around the time they start school, I promise or I would have packed it in by now.

And I love having teenagers they really are lovely though my daughter probably hasn't peaked yet.

[Notenoughchocolateomg]

Oh lord it IS relentless. The person that said it was just being honest. Its fecking awful at times! You love and adore them absolutely but by god you find yourself so irritated by them and so sick of their shit! My youngest is 6 but has developmental delay so is like a 3yo right now. He's tested my patience so much the little sod and I love it when he's at school so I can have a break from him. I'm a single mum and they don't see their dad so if hes not at school hes with me. It is fucking relentless! But hes perfection and I adore him. Your daughter will come through it OP. Knowing you're not alone will hopefully help!

[IndecentFeminist]

I remember finding this very apt at times when my big kids were smaller:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346/amp

[bergen97]

Every parent goes through nightmare years. Our two DSs were perfect babies and toddlers: slept, ate almost anything, were easy to potty train, didn’t have tantrums. And then teenage years came- my gorgeous happy placid clever DS turned overnight into moody, disengaged, teenager with mood swings almost as great as his premenopausal mother! He is nearly over that stage (I hope and pray); his brother who was slightly less perfect as a toddler is showing signs of turning into Kevin! Parenthood is hard and endless; but also magical, special and rewarding. All parents go through a tough patch- timings are different depending upon the children and circumstances!
If I had my time again I would spend less time aiming for perfection, sticking to rules and being a tough mum- instead I would allow them to be children every minute available. Before you know, they grow up and move on to the next stages of their lives.

[Bloodyoverthisnow]

Don't wish it away. I felt the same, but now missing the younger years . I have girls, one 11, one 13. Both cantankerous , fussy bedroom dwelling moody preteens. I shed a tear some days about being in a fug of tiredness in the early years . I didn't didnt take it all in.

[LaVieEstBelle159]

I thought the toddler age was hard but that's nothing compared to the teens. DS is 14 and I dislike him 95% of the time

[Ivy455]

I have a 2.4 year old and I feel you. I love her so much and she was much longed for but to be perfectly honest I hate being a mother. It's me, not her - I'm very highly strung. I don't have any advice but you're not alone!

[Pinklittle]

Toddler here also who is currently insisting we only address her by her full name and corrects us and others when we don't! It's relentless for sure, good luck all :) nice to know it's just another phase haha x

[Mummyten]

18 months to 3 I think is the most exhausting time - they have loads of energy and no fear but they are at their most delicious in many ways ! I have a pre teen now and would go back to having him as new born all over again just to relish it - at 48 it might actually finish me off but I do miss those days !

[GhostCurry]

Of course motherhood is relentless, that’s its defining characteristic. What was your mum thinking?!

[littleharissa]

[quote IndecentFeminist]I remember finding this very apt at times when my big kids were smaller:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346/amp[/quote]
That's one of the best things I've ever read.

Thank you

[Nomoreboobs]

Thanks so much everyone, have enjoyed reading all your own situations. Have had a fantastic day today with a trip out and Christmas crafts etc, completely different to yesterday 🤷🏻‍♀️😂That’s the way it seems to go, it’s so up and down isn’t it..we’ll see
what tomorrow brings.

@CheetasOnFajitas I think I did say? She’s down for hopefully the spring (on a waiting list, might be different to the uk where we are) I also have to sort it around some private tutoring I can possibly do to balance the costs as I’m not working at present. My ideal is for her to go a couple of mornings then days per week once we get into the spring. There’s also the whole covid thing, so my plan was to keep her out of nursery during the winter. (I’ve also been suffering with long covid, big improvement recently but don’t want to catch anything else on top)

[Harls1969]

It's very hard. My daughter was the queen of tantrums from 18 months until she was 4 and her brother was born. She could scream in temper for an hour at a time over the tiniest of things. However she has been lovely ever since, even through her teens (honestly, apart from her terrible time management, she's not been any trouble and she's almost 23 now). Our son was always pretty easy though. I count myself very fortunate

[ClaudiasWinkleMan]

I look back at that time with fondness now I have a teen. I thought a tantruming toddler was bad but at least they are still cute. Teens are even more unreasonable and they now smell too. I miss my lovely little one. Sorry but my teen is being extra stroppy teen like at the moment. I found age 4-8 lovely with that one, once the hormones started at 9 it’s been relentless hell. I’m counting down the days until uni, just hoping they choose one far enough away to need to move out. I’m then hoping the physical distance will bring us closer.
My mum says it’s karma because I was hell from 13 until I went to uni. I keep catching her having a giggle listening to us.

[Yourcatisnotsorry]

My 2yo is easier than my 4yo. Depends on the child really.

[Mamanyt]

"Relentless" is the best word for that age. There's a reason for this, and a rather lovely one. They are, at that age, just beginning to realize that they are separate and distinct beings apart from their parents, and that they actually have some power in the world. What you are seeing, and guiding, is their first steps to being individuals. A budding ego. Take a deep breath, and try to enjoy as much of it as you can. Not easy, but try!

[Callingallskeletons]

Your friend was not wrong
DC is the light of my life and we waited like you a long time to finally have a child but oh my f’king god most days (especially after wfh for months) I find myself wishing I was actually at work more often than not

[grassisjeweled]

DD is 4 in January and I honestly am starting to feel like we're turning a corner.

Seems they're either keen on tantrums or bolting. DS was a bolter, DD just moaned constantly from aged 2.5 to 3.5. She is getting easier, slowly.

[MrsKoala]

@Bbq1

I really enjoy every stage of being a mum but loved it when my ds was a toddler. He was so chatty, funny and cute. He was a real little friend I could chat with (he was an early talker) and have lots of fun with. I certainly wouldn't call it anything approaching relentless or boring. How can anyone feel like that about their own child? No, I don't think perfect or special, I just don't understand how spending time with your dc is seen as some kind of chore.

You don’t understand how not being able to go to the loo without dragging a screaming 2 year old with you because they keep biting the baby is a chore. Or when one toddler is downstairs scribbling on a wall another is upstairs flooding the sink or flushing your make up down the toilet? Or walking for hours outside in the cold just to burn off energy? Or simply being kicked and punched and screamed at constantly? Or having. 4yo and a 2yo and being heavily pregnant while they both are bolsters and run away at every opportunity? I could go on as there are so many occasions I have felt the weight of the relentlessness of it all.

But I will say my most difficult one is my oldest and he is now 8 and utterly delightful. I could spend hours chatting to him and playing with him (even if the subject gets a little monotonous- he is so quirky and funny - or maybe I’m just so relieved he’s not hitting me anymore!).

I will also say one of the things which got me thru was the co sleeping. They could be utter dicks when awake, but when asleep and snuggling up to me they looked like perfect angels and my heart would melt and the love would flood thru me. I would try to remember that when they tipped a tin of red paint on the floor, or locked me out while I was taking the bin out...it didn’t always work.

[MrsKoala]

Bolsters? Wtf autocorrect! Bolters I mean.

Also I just remembered the time my oldest at 2yo got behind me while I was bfing ds2 and put a mechanical car on my head and it whirred up a big chunk of my hair in the wheels. I had to carry the baby and him 2 doors down to the builders to get them to dismantle it with a screwdriver from my hair. Ahhhh good times

I can laugh now...

[Hardbackwriter]

[quote IndecentFeminist]I remember finding this very apt at times when my big kids were smaller:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.huffpost.com/entry/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346/amp[/quote]
Thanks so much for sharing this, I thought it was fantastic and really speaks to me

[IndecentFeminist]

It still speaks to me too however many years on. It's very true, I love being a parent. I adore everything about my kids. I don't always love the act of parenting though, sometimes it utterly sucks.