Hate this 80% of the time

[Nomoreboobs]

Start off by saying, I adore my Dd, 2.6 years old. We waited years to have her and some days are amazing..but, the majority aren’t. Does/has anyone else found this age ridiculously hard? Does it get easier, if so, when is that exactly?
My life feels like an endless cycle at the moment and recently I’ve felt myself really pining for my child free days-they were so easy..but then I feel guilty.
I remember years ago, a friend who had a small child explained it to me as being ‘Relentless’ my mum said it was an awful thing to say and that it wasn’t..I’m inclined to feel my friend was right,

When my kids were 3 and 1 I used to designate 3pm as 'Mummy's coffee time'. If I got 20 minutes to myself at this point I could make it until DH got home.

Mummy, can you - Not just now darling, it's Mummy's coffee time.
Mummy, I want - Remember pet, it's Mummy's coffee time

And on and on and on until they get bored and leave you alone.

Every stage has its challenges and theere are lots of variables, depending on the child, your situation, etc, but yes, I would say the toddler years are utterly relentless and can be very, very trying. (I had zero help or childcare and a partner who worked long hours. It was without a shadow of a doubt the hardest work I've ever done, sometimes excruciatingly boring and very lonely).

What helps: Getting outside. Even if just for a blast of fresh air. Every day. Toddler groups/other mothers. Childcare/childminder. www.ahaparenting.com . 'Simplicity' parenting. Check their diet, not too much sugar, make sure they drink WATER not fruit juice, for example.

Utterly relentless. Actually that's not quite true. Most of the time two year olds are horrendous, but with brief interludes of outrageous cuteness where they come and snuggle in for a story, or look at a Christmas tree like it's magical, when they melt your heard. I think it's a survival technique.

My 10 year old calls the two year old satan...

DS has just turned 2 and is frankly an angel. He doesn't tantrum and he is a bolter when we're outside but reins sorts that out. But I still find it relentless and very difficult I work 3 days a week which helps a lot and we go for loooong walks to tire him out but I find it boring to say the least! I think it's harder at the moment with no toddler groups and other adults to speak to face to face that are going through the same! Solidarity to you all

We live abroad too OP, and didn’t put the Dc in childcare, so they were with me until they were 3. Relentless is THE word for it. They are 10 and 13 now and absolute joys to have around, with their own lives, friends, etc. It gets easier.

I think that it gets better once they start nursery. Mine only used to go for mornings but you seemed to get much more “value” out of it than that. Getting up, getting ready to go, going, then they’re there and you have freedom, then picking up, lunch, let them watch tele as they’ve been busy all morning. By the end of all that it’s mid afternoon and you’re in your way towards the bedtime routine. It seems much more manageable than when yon have them at home all day. Don’t worry, everyone hates different stages of parenting.

I found age 2 to 4 to be the absolute hardest and relentless is a good word. Mine are 9 and 10 now and I love it. It really does get easier. Waiting for the teens now though...

I enjoyed mine in the year before they started school ( on reflection, maybe because they spent a lot of that time at pre-school!).
Aged 2,3 is hard. They are illogical, outrageously self-centered and have limited intelligence!!!
I would urge you to start some nursery sessions. It is good the DC to separate, learn to share toys, take turns, be around their peers. And it is good for you to have a break. Then the time you have together is much easier. Seriously, I don't know how you do it with no break or support.

5 onwards is when you can finally exhale. I've a 7 and 6 yr old now and they are a dream compared to the 4 and 3 yr old.

1.5 to 3.5 was hell. Strong willed children who don't know what they want but they want it NOW and hear no reason. Independent enough to leave a massive amount of mess everywhere but not independent enough to clean it up. Can't leave them alone for any considerable length of time. Always want want need want something.

Bigger kids bigger problems, but it's not the same relentless slog, and you can reason with them.

I think it would be abnormal NOT to dislike parenting a 2 to 3.5 year old a lot of the time! It is indeed so totally relentless and so often so difficult. I am currently at 3 and two months waiting for it to get better....

Definitely gets a bit easier although i'm dreading the teenage years. Mine are 5 and 9 now and don't need entertaining/watching 24/7.

I have a three year old who needs everything just so.

Wonderful often then a mini dictator

I agree with op good thing they are very cute.

When they stop having daytime naps is a challenging time - no break in the day & a tired child. I would encourage daytime naps for as long as possible.

It does get easier, unless you get a hellish teen.

@NoIDontWatchLoveIsland

I am not a huge fan of group care for babies BUT I think a lot of toddlers go quite feral from about 2.5 onwards and actually they need socialising in groups with their peers. It does help.

I also think expectation management is key. It can seem like they suddenly grow up into children - talking more, potty training, able to do more for themselves, but they are still young and need us to structure their lives a lot and provide a lot of support.

I really agree with both bits of this. We have always used childcare because we both work, but I would definitely say that it was a necessity for us rather than good for him (I think it was fine, but neutral) until he was about 2, a bit older, and then suddenly you could really see that it benefited him (and he also started actively loving nursery and asking to go). We used to never send him in school holidays (his dad's a teacher) but over October half term you could really see that he was happier with the structure and stimulation of his couple of days a week there.

I've also really realised that I've been guilty of the latter bit of this post recently. DS (2.5) has potty trained and gone from a cot to a bed in the last couple of months and his communication has transformed. I'm also pregnant again, and now in my third trimester. I realised that I was getting frustrated with him because I was suddenly expecting much more of him, both because he seems much more grown up, and because I need him to be more independent because it's so much harder to care for him physically - but neither of those things actually make HIM ready or stop him being a very, very young child. He crawled into my lap the other day and said 'I mummy's baby. I very little.' and I thought 'yes, actually, you are'.

DS was horrific at this age, DD wasn’t too bad as toddlers go.
Give me a teen any day 😂

@PissedOffProf

Four. It will most likely stop when she is four. Toddlers are satan's little minions. Ages 2-3.5 are, in my opinion, the worst. Worse than having a newborn. Good thing that they are cute.

In a nutshell - you've got 1.5 years to go. Start ticking the days off the calendar.

My experience of my DD tells me that OP has 15-25 years to go then it all works out...

I found the toddler stage really hard. Also, having taken ages ttc and had IVF, I found that I felt like I ought to enjoy everything more than other mums. Other people too treated my older dc like a 'special baby' that we'd waited ages for and that made me feel worse. I think actually you sort of need to reset the clock when your child is born and realise you're pretty much the same as someone who got pregnant instantly. You can be grateful that pregnancy finally happened, but it doesn't mean that it's any easier to cope with the difficult stuff or that you're bathed in serenity and humility because you've had such a hard time getting there. Be kinder to yourself - it's perfectly normal to find it a struggle and to pine for the pre-baby days. All the stages are different - I found some enjoyable and easier, others were absolute hell.

I found the early toddling period when DD was mobile but not talking much to be quite lovely, but the bit that came after was horrendous. Everything was so, so repetitive and yet shot through with the constant unpredictable threat of tears. Not fun. It does get easier though.

I found how much I liked parenting ebbed and flowed a lot. A challenging stage was normally followed by a more enjoyable one.

It gets easier between 3 and 4.

Life with ds when he was that age was great, so manageable and we were flying along.

It was so good that I decided to have another and I pine for that easy life back. Two years to go here I think

Ok this is terrifying because my daughter isnt one yet and I've found the the up until very recently to be horrendous. I know toddlers will be hard in different ways, but is it possible that different mum's will find different ages hard?

Hate to say this, but 4 was a tough age. If you're lucky, there are a few nice years at around 8. But only if you're lucky.

I have almost 4 year old twins and definitely agree with 1.5/2 - 4 being the absolute worst time so far. I don't know how I get through some days, they drive me to the absolute end of my tether. I'm praying for a miracle when they turn 4 they're in preschool 3 full days whilst I work and I'm told they are absolute darlings at school. Well believe me miss teacher they are NOT darlings at home

Yanbu. It is relentless. My ds is 4.5yo and its still difficult. For me the hardest was the constant need to play/ entertain him. He still is a very clingy boy and can play independently but only if you are sitting there with him. It is tough.

It’s the little stuff like if I move a spoon absentmindedly

Really needs things right!