Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to spend my child's DLA on extra days in nursery?

140 replies

ShinyRedShoe · 28/11/2020 11:47

On the provision that he is awarded in the first place that is.

He'll be turning three in January and has just received a diagnosis of autism. I have been encouraged by his nursery to apply for DLA which I plan to do, I'm just compiling all of his medical evidence and gathering letters for the application at the minute.

The nursery manager thinks it would be a good idea to use the (hypothetical at the moment) DLA money on extra days in nursery as she thinks it'll be good for him.

He currently receives the government 15 free hours funding and attends two days per week, I only work part time so I don't need the extra days childcare.

They keep chasing me up about it and asking if I've sent the application or heard anything back yet.

If DS awarded then I think I'd like to use the money on other things such as a safer sleeping bed, sensory items for the home and to make adaptations where I can to make life easier and more enjoyable for him.

AIBU to not want to use DLA to pay for additional childcare or do you think I should?

OP posts:
Newfornow · 28/11/2020 11:50

Spend it what you feel will be good for him, ignore the pushy people.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 28/11/2020 11:50

None of nursery’s business how you spend the money.

LittleBearPad · 28/11/2020 11:50

What benefit do you think he’d derive from going more frequently. If you think he would benefit send him. If you think he’d benefit more/as much from sticking to your current arrangements then do that. Plus does he need a safer bed etc?

It also doesn’t need to be black and white - he could do one more session and still have new bed etc.

LittleBearPad · 28/11/2020 11:50

But either way you get to decide not a nursery manager worried about her revenue.

essexmum777 · 28/11/2020 11:51

Is it a mainstream or SN nursery?

Sirzy · 28/11/2020 11:52

The key is why do they think extra time in nursery would benefit him? When he turns 3 would be be able to access the 30 hours childcare (Ds is too old for me to know properly how it works but I am sure being in receipt of dla is a criteria?)

Smallsteps88 · 28/11/2020 11:53

The nursery manager thinks it would be a good idea to use the (hypothetical at the moment) DLA money on extra days in nursery as she thinks it'll be good for him.

It’ll be good for her pocket more like!

OP you allocate the money as you see fit to best accommodate your child’s need. The nursery has no claim on it and I would put a stop to their pestering immediately by saying “I haven’t decided how I’m going to allocate his DLA yet.”

raspberryk · 28/11/2020 11:54

I think you might want to look into other help, if your son needs a safer bed this should be available to you through the local authority services and you shouldn’t need to use dla for that.
It should be used for where it is most beneficial for your son, like op said it doesn’t have to be all or nothing!

papaelf · 28/11/2020 11:55

DLA has nothing to do with nursery. Ok a wee 'oh you should apply for DLA' comment, fair enough, but anything further is downright none of their business.

I would consider whether extra nursery time would benefit your child though.

Livinginatree · 28/11/2020 11:56

What you put in when caring for him is incredibly beneficial. Attachments are key with autism and spending time 1:1 with you and going places, talking with him and doing sensory activities will be so valuable. The fact you are up on what sensory equipment you want to buy says to me you are totally in the ball and can offer more than an extra couple of days at nursery

mooncakes · 28/11/2020 11:57

The nursery will get a bit of extra funding if he is awarded DLA, maybe she means that?

IMNOTSHOUTING · 28/11/2020 11:57

I would do what you think is best for DS, possibly with reference to advice from professionals trained in ASD. The nursery manager is being too pushy.

papaelf · 28/11/2020 11:58

DLA can be very hard to get for autism in a child that we a well, so be prepared for a fight. It's hard to argue they need extra care when all 2 years olds need the same level of intervention in their day. Good luck. If you can you should contact your local council and see if they have a welfare rights department- ours are fantastic. They will take all your evidence; your personal input and so the forms for you. They know exactly what DWP are looking for and if they need to they will fight all the way to the appeal on your behalf.

papaelf · 28/11/2020 11:59

In a child THAT AGE Blush

abigailsnan · 28/11/2020 12:01

I would keep your little one on the days he is doing now and tell the manager to mind her own business she is obviously looking for extra numbers in her nursery,buy what you want with any dla you are awarded you could save for extra holidays and sensory items for him .Good luck with your application.

AngryFishes · 28/11/2020 12:01

As pps said it's entirely up to you what you spend the money on but also as a pp said do look into other sources of help for things like a suitable bed and respite etc. The latter in particular is rare as hens teeth but you should certainly apply for it. Get in touch with the organisation called Contact to get some information about how you can access assistance and maximise your income. Eg claiming the disability element of UC etc. I think the website address is just contact.org

SleepingStandingUp · 28/11/2020 12:03

Just tell her you've decided you don't want him in nursery any extra days at this moment. Every time she mentions it, just repeat "we're happy just jkeeping him in 2 days right now".

Carpetflowers · 28/11/2020 12:03

Will a DLA award mean more free hours for your so ? Maybe she means the award will open up more funding. If that’s not the case then spend the money on what you think will benefit him.

Ohdoleavemealone · 28/11/2020 12:04

I actually think it woukd benefit YOU to put him in for maybe half a day so you can get some down time. Caring for children with additional needs is exhausting and you can burnout. It would benefit you both for you to be rested, only if you feel that would outweigh the benefit of something else you need or want.

Original poster
ShinyRedShoe · 28/11/2020 12:05

Thank you for the replies.

It's a special needs independent nursery he goes to.

I don't know whether he's entitled to 30 free hours when he turns three, I'll have to look into that as it's (possibly good) news to me.

I'm also not clued up with what funding is available for a safer sleeping bed, I assumed I would have to pay for that myself. He does need one and they cost a fortune.

I do know that as it stands, they think spending the DLA on extra days in nursery would be good for him.

To be totally transparent, I told them a while ago that I had sent off the application and I'd let them know when I hear back. It wasn't my greatest moment but I felt they were being a bit pushy (though well intended) and I wanted them to stop asking me about it.

He does benefit from being in nursery and is making good progress with speech in particular but I'm also doing alot of SALT type activities at home and I'm confident that he's picking up alot from me too.

As he's so young and I don't work full time I would rather he stuck to his two days a week for now, until such a time that I need the childcare (if I end up working full time for example)

OP posts:
papaelf · 28/11/2020 12:08

To be totally transparent, I told them a while ago that I had sent off the application and I'd let them know when I hear back.

Ignore my advice re welfare rights then. You said in your OP you were just gathering the evidence so I assumed you hadn't sent it.

Carpetflowers · 28/11/2020 12:09

Have a look at Family Fund they may be able to give you a grant (depending on your income) to buy a bed for your DS.

Original poster
ShinyRedShoe · 28/11/2020 12:10

@papaelf

To be totally transparent, I told them a while ago that I had sent off the application and I'd let them know when I hear back.

Ignore my advice re welfare rights then. You said in your OP you were just gathering the evidence so I assumed you hadn't sent it.

I haven't sent it yet, I just told them that as I was tired of being asked every other time I pick him up Blush

I've done a fair bit of research and can see that, like you said, it's very difficult to be awarded when a child is so young.

I want to be sure I have a solid application before I send it off, so I will look into the suggestions above as it sounds very helpful. Thank you

OP posts:
Original poster
ShinyRedShoe · 28/11/2020 12:11

I will be looking into family fund too, thank you for the helpful suggestions

OP posts:
Chickychickydodah · 28/11/2020 12:12

Get what you need for him first then decide on extra days at a later time, check and see if you can claim any extras too.

Swipe left for the next trending thread