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Original poster

To take DD home from playground because she wouldn't do her coat up

476 replies

Toomuchtooyoung01 · 27/11/2020 13:39

DD 3.5yrs refusing to let me do her coat up as she wanted to show everyone in the playground her new dress. (Several people had commented on it on our way in).
After several times telling her that I needed to do her coat up and explaining why (because its cold) and her refusing, I said we were going home (again, explained lots of times we would go home if she wouldnt do her coat up).
DD hysterically crying all the way back to the car and back home.
Am I out of order for taking her home?

OP posts:
OverTheRainbow88 · 27/11/2020 13:49

Is it really true the cold can’t make you ill?

I cycled to work yesterday morning 0degrees and felt sooooo cold and couldn’t warm up for ages and today I’ve got a terrible sore throat. Is that a coincidence?

Respectabitch · 27/11/2020 13:49

It's a stupid battle to pick with a child. If they're cold they will ask for their coats zipped. If they're not cold they shouldn't have to wear more layers than they want.

Plonque · 27/11/2020 13:49

Meh. It's hardly siberia.

Even young kids have to be given freedom of making their own choices. I wouldn't have caused a massive scene over that personally.

Enko · 27/11/2020 13:49

For this i 100% would as you had given a consequence she didn't listen
In general however I never had the coat up argument w mine. Picking battles and I didnt feel that was one I wanted to argue

Jellycatspyjamas · 27/11/2020 13:50

It’s not a battle I’d have picked tbh, it’s reasonable that she’d want to show off her pretty dress and would have fastened her coat if she was cold. Having made the threat you needed to follow through, but I wouldn’t have got into it with a child over a coat while she was running about playing.

SquareSausage17 · 27/11/2020 13:50

Seems like a pointless thing to have a fight about. Having her coat open wouldn’t cause her any harm, so you were really just insisting on arbitrary obedience for obedience’s sake. I can’t see why it was worth forcing such a daft battle.

Idontgiveagriffindamn · 27/11/2020 13:50

Surely at 3.5 she can tell you when she is cold or not? If she was cold she would have zipped up her coat or would have asked for you to do it.
My eldest has been walking home from school in his polo shirt. He just doesn’t feel the cold. He has a jumper and coat available but doesn’t want them. I feel sold just looking at him but I know I can’t project that onto him.

TheGreatWave · 27/11/2020 13:50

I'll add though, that at some point every parent has picked a battle that in hindsight they shouldn't have.

SleepingStandingUp · 27/11/2020 13:51

She just wanted to show people her dress.

LabiaMinoraPissusFlapus · 27/11/2020 13:52

Not a battle worth having!

SleepingStandingUp · 27/11/2020 13:52

@OverTheRainbow88

Is it really true the cold can’t make you ill?

I cycled to work yesterday morning 0degrees and felt sooooo cold and couldn’t warm up for ages and today I’ve got a terrible sore throat. Is that a coincidence?

I think running around with an open coat level of cold won't. Cycling in bitter cold so cold but seating so probably a bit damp and breathing in lots of cold air is probably different.
IgiveupallthenamesIwantedareg0 · 27/11/2020 13:54

@Toomuchtooyoung01

DD 3.5yrs refusing to let me do her coat up as she wanted to show everyone in the playground her new dress. (Several people had commented on it on our way in). After several times telling her that I needed to do her coat up and explaining why (because its cold) and her refusing, I said we were going home (again, explained lots of times we would go home if she wouldnt do her coat up). DD hysterically crying all the way back to the car and back home. Am I out of order for taking her home?
She has a new dress, she feels good in it, she is receiving compliments and along comes boring old Mum who wants her to cover it up! Feeling the cold is a subjective feeling, if she had been really feeling the cold she would have done it herself. Did you never have the experience that you got all dressed up, felt good, were getting compliments and someone came along and said "cover yourself up or you'll catch your death"? Spoil sport!
missyB1 · 27/11/2020 13:56

Well done! Sometimes we have to do what’s in our children’s best interests no matter what their 3 year old opinion is! I work in a nursery and could scream every time a child rocks up on a day like today in a t shirt and tutu because the parents “didn’t think it was worth the battle”.
3 year olds depend on adults to do the right thing. Doing up her coat on a freezing day was the right thing, and she needs to accept that you know best.

ddl1 · 27/11/2020 13:56

I don't think it's something of extreme importance, but I think you were a bit U. I would agree with not taking her out in the first place if she refused to take her coat with her; but not making such an issue of her not doing it up. Ultimately children have to learn to adjust their clothes to how hot or cold they are feeling, not to grow up needing others to tell them. If she was being very active and running about, she might really not feel as cold as a slower-moving adult.

ShyTown · 27/11/2020 13:56

Unless you’ve neglected to mention you live in Alaska then I think you massively overreacted. She’s more than old enough to tell you if she’s cold, she was wearing the coat undone and was probably warm from running around the playground. Absolutely not a hill worth dying on in my opinion!

LadyEloise · 27/11/2020 13:56

Well she knows now you follow up on threats.
No bad thing.
She'll get over it.

user1493413286 · 27/11/2020 13:57

I insist on coat on as DD likes to take it off but I wouldn’t insist on doing it up and then take her home for it

Cocomarine · 27/11/2020 13:57

Absolutely pointless battle.
Pick your battles doesn’t mean pick which ones you want to win and let the child win others - it means don’t even have the battle in the first place, when it’s totally unnecessary.

  • let’s do your coat up
  • I want to show off my dress
  • it’s lovely isn’t it? It is cold though - so let me know if you feel cold later, I’ll do it up for you then
Wheresmykimchi · 27/11/2020 13:58

Totally bloody OTT. Poor kid.

ILikeStrongTea · 27/11/2020 14:00

If she was cold she would have asked for her coat to be done up. So she wanted to show off her dress? Pick your battles.

unebaguettepastropcuite · 27/11/2020 14:00

Bacteria and viruses make you ill, not being cold - for those who are asking

As for the coat battle, you had to follow through with your threat, but in your position I wouldn't have made it and would just have let her get cold

Toilenstripes · 27/11/2020 14:01

That’s harsh, OP. She was having a nice time and then, bam! You ruined it for her.

SusannahSophia · 27/11/2020 14:01

@ATowelAndAPotato

Whilst I think that once you have said it, you needed to follow though or she won’t believe you next time... I’m not sure it’s a battle I would have chosen in the first place.

Unless she has an underlying health condition most kids are plenty warm enough running around the playground, and mine certainly don’t even keep their coat on for more than 5 mins!

It’s done now, so have a cuddle with her and move on Flowers it will soon be forgotten

This ^

You were right not to back down but it was too harsh a punishment. The natural consequence would have been getting cold.

Hoppinggreen · 27/11/2020 14:03

Both my DC are and have (mostly) always been very well behaved. I didn’t sweat the small stuff though so coats etc would largely be up to them, they are perfectly able to decide whether they are cold age 3

Dishwashersaurous · 27/11/2020 14:03

Waits to hear that op lives in the attic circle..