Friend let slip she pines for my DH !

[Highfivemum]

Chatting to friend on zoom while drinking wine and having a chill last night . All good fun. Lots of laughing and joking. Suddenly in conversation my friend said well I have always pined for your DH. Let me know when you have had enough of him !! I was taken back but replied in joke that does she want his snoring as well and she said oh yes please and his dirty undies, my dream man !!!i said nothing as i didn’t know what to say !! We finished chat no longer after. She had had a drink but wasn’t drunk. No idea if I shd mentioned it or not. DH just laughed when I told him but AIBU to say something. ?

It was probably just a joke

Ugh dirty undies was a joke, yes?

I don't know what to say about your friend wanting your husband once you've had enough of him. What an odd situation!

Err that's way odd.

Was she drunk?

How good a friend?

I might distance myself from that one...

What was happening just before she came out with that? What was the context?

Fwiw I am actually pining for my friend’s DH (not that I’d put it in those terms) and whenever she mentions him I go too far the other way and talk him down. I suspect she wonders why I dislike him so much. So you might be alright!

Bye Felicia

No she wasn’t drunk. We were talking about her ex husband. Well she was anyway as he has a new GF. It was really strange. Made me feel a bit uncomfortable to be honest. Since her and her ex DH split she has turned a bit into a teenager to be honest. She has cos previous for seeing a married man not that my DH would be interested. I think I will just leave it be.

I've had a bit of a thing for a friend's partner for years. I would never dream of mentioning it. Poor form, friendship wise. Can't help feeling it. Definitely can help sharing it.

When you pine for someone it is because you had them and lost them. I assume she just has a crush on him. Not particularly appropriate but not the end of the world.

Awkward. Probably thinks it's co.plimentary. she sounds lonely.

I would keep her at arm's lengths (i.e. meet her without DH). Too many threads on MN where the OP's DH has had an affair with her best friend.

That conversation would led me to believe she was joking.

Hi OP
Your so called friend comment is totally not Appropriate at All.!!!

Your friend has got a school girl like Crush on your husband, but she should have kept this to herself..!!!

Personally myself in your position I would downgrade your so called friend to ex,distance,and fade this friend gradually out of your life...

Be around and create better friendships...Op

Whether your friend was pissed out of her head or not,is besides the point, 😬

What your so called friend said was not nice at all.!!!😬

I wish people stop mimising crap type of social behaviour that some pissed up people exhibit.

I can imagine a context where I would joke - genuinely joke - about wanting a friend’s husband if she was done with him. If he’s just cooked us a lovely meal, perhaps. So I don’t think you had to be there to really judge this.

That said... if my friend really fancied my husband (which isn’t her fault) but didn’t have the boundaries to keep her gob shut about it, I’d distance myself. Not for fear of an affair - just for her inappropriateness.

I once had a crush on a friend's husband but wouldn't dream of saying anything. She and I were not that close but had he and I been single at the same time after they divorced, I would have gone for it!

There are threads on here about people's spouses cheating with supposed friends but I'm not sure her admitting it has anything to do with whether she'd act on it! I wouldn't mention it again unless she does.

It sounds like a joke to me- I wouldn't give it any headspace.

As for "pining" meaning that she's had him...absolute rubbish. It implies quite the opposite- an unrequited love! Not that I think she was being serious.

I would think about cooling this one TBH."let me know when you have had enough of him" is way odd to me!So many women seem to think "no one else will have him" only to be stabbed in the back by another woman, too often supposed to be their "friend" Some weak men dont need much to go off with Flirty Gertie do they!

Take it as a compliment?

Who is your celeb crush? If your best friend got with him would you not think yup he’s hot. Maybe she means she’d like a man like your husband (I assume he’s a good guy) considering she’s going through a divorce. I don’t think I could get worked up about it.

I would take it as a joke /light hearted comment.

Joke or not..... I wouldn't have told my Husband... that's a certainty...

It's a bit weird but I think she tried to laugh it off with an obvious joke and you're probably making too much of an awkward comment

Weird. I can imagine if your friend had known him years as a friend as well and if he'd done something particularly lovely it could have been OK to say "I'll have him if you don't want him". But the dirty undies thing crosses a line for me.

So she was talking about her ex DH, was probably a bit sad, sees you and your DH as having the ideal relationship and pines for it......i highly doubt she specifically means your DH.

Sometimes when you have been through something bad and from the outside it looks like someone has something good you look at it in rose tinted spectacles. She probably see's your DH as strong and stable, treats you well, is loyal and faithful etc. and see's him as the perfect guy.

I would probably dismiss it as a joke, but it did make you feel uncomfortable with the continuing on to the dirty undies? so I'd probably take a big step back.

I’ve had this a few times, my husband is an ex football player and a few of my friends have mentioned they think he’s attractive, I take it as a compliment most of the time

It's incredibly odd, and I'd distance myself from her as either it's a joke and we very much do not share the same sense of humour or she's being unfortunately truthful.

Do you trust her act bizarrely around your husband?