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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend let slip she pines for my DH !

142 replies

Highfivemum · 27/11/2020 12:53

Chatting to friend on zoom while drinking wine and having a chill last night . All good fun. Lots of laughing and joking. Suddenly in conversation my friend said well I have always pined for your DH. Let me know when you have had enough of him !! I was taken back but replied in joke that does she want his snoring as well and she said oh yes please and his dirty undies, my dream man !!!i said nothing as i didn’t know what to say !! We finished chat no longer after. She had had a drink but wasn’t drunk. No idea if I shd mentioned it or not. DH just laughed when I told him but AIBU to say something. ?

OP posts:
MaelyssQ · 27/11/2020 14:20

It sounds like an ill-judged joke.

When Covid is a distant memory and you throw a party, watch her like a hawk though!!

stampsurprise · 27/11/2020 14:20

pine2
/pʌɪn/
Learn to pronounce

verb
gerund or present participle: pining
1 suffer a mental and physical decline, especially because of a broken heart."she thinks I am pining away from love"


◦ miss or long for."she's still pining for him"



butterpuffed · 27/11/2020 14:20

I'm not surprised you felt uncomfortable ~ saying she fancied your husband could be taken as a throwaway comment but mentioning his dirty undies Shock

stampsurprise · 27/11/2020 14:21

I do not think she meant the dictionary Definition of pine - I certainly hope not anyway!

EmilyBishopmyconfession · 27/11/2020 14:23

Surely the dirty undies comment was sarcastic?! I'd just take it as a clumsy attempt at a joke and move on.

Billben · 27/11/2020 14:27

I think I will just leave it be.

With one eye open I hope.

MRex · 27/11/2020 14:35

It sounds like a joke that didn't go very well. I'd just ignore it.

MuttertheButter · 27/11/2020 14:40

You could always let her have a go?

AriesTheRam · 27/11/2020 14:47

@MuttertheButter Grin

emilyfrost · 27/11/2020 14:50

It doesn’t really matter how she feels; you’ve no need to be worried as long as you trust your husband.

AryaStarkWolf · 27/11/2020 14:51

I'd find that odd tbh, she said she "pines" for him, weird phrasing too

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/11/2020 15:01

It’s normal to have crushes but best to keep them to yourself, especially in this situation. I think I wouldn’t mention it again but wouldn’t encourage 1 to 1s between them either...

Gwenhwyfar · 27/11/2020 15:08

"When you pine for someone it is because you had them and lost them. I assume she just has a crush on him. "

Yes, pine for means you miss someone doesn't it?
So what if she has a little crush on him, doesn't mean she'd ever do anything about it.

Srslydontgiveacrap · 27/11/2020 15:11

Sounds like typical boozy nonsense chatter to me. Are you sure she hadn't been on the Gin beforehand?

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/11/2020 15:15

My DH is known as 'Hot Terry' at my work. And they all swoon when he walks in. It's just a joke (well, he is hot but it's mostly joking).

VetiverAndLavender · 27/11/2020 15:17

That is extremely awkward. I couldn't really feel completely comfortable with her after that. Even if you trust your husband, who wants to know that their so-called friend has been "pining" for her husband?!

I'd keep an eye on her, tbh, particularly since you know that she's gone after married men before. It's one thing to feel an attraction, but there was no need to tell you, and especially in such strong terms. That's not normal behaviour. I doubt I'd say anything, unless she brought it up again, but I'd remember and be watchful.

Pukkatea · 27/11/2020 15:18

Sounds like a socially awkward joke to me.

Arosadra · 27/11/2020 15:18

Yeah I understand pining for someone to mean missing them, so I didn’t understand your post at first! You mean she fancies him?

It’s odd and I would probably distance.

HollowTalk · 27/11/2020 15:21

I agree that pining is a very odd term to use - it implies there was a history there.

MaelyssQ · 27/11/2020 15:24

My DH is a gorgeous bloke in every sense, and a while ago, one of my friends said something along the lines of 'he looks like he'd be good in bed, is he?' I was gobsmacked. Then stuttered that what went on in the bedroom stays in the bedroom and it was none of her goddamn business. To be fair to her, she was very very very drunk and this was pre-Covid before the Covid police report me for mixing households.

joystir59 · 27/11/2020 15:33

I would keep her at arm's lengths (i.e. meet her without DH). Too many threads on MN where the OP's DH has had an affair with her best friend
If the only way to be sure of your partner's fidelity is by keeping them away from your single friends stuff that quite frankly

JillofTrades · 27/11/2020 15:44

I wouldn't brush this off as a joke. She has crossed a line. I can't think of any situation where this joke would be funny. And then she carried on some more. She's obviously been thinking of him quite a lot. I would be keeping a distance from her. Totally not appropriate.

NataliaOsipova · 27/11/2020 15:49

It’s a joke. She wouldn’t say it - or certainly not like that - if she meant it seriously. Remember the poster whose DH really fancied her best mate and was all Mr Attentive and chatty when the friend was around? That’s what you’d get if she actually had designs on him. It’s a crass joke.

NoPainNoTartine · 27/11/2020 15:53

@JillofTrades

I wouldn't brush this off as a joke. She has crossed a line. I can't think of any situation where this joke would be funny. And then she carried on some more. She's obviously been thinking of him quite a lot. I would be keeping a distance from her. Totally not appropriate.
over-reacting much?

It's a joke. If you are secure in your relationship, it's a complete non-issue.

JustSay · 27/11/2020 15:55

When there is a crush they dont say anything even go the other extreme and be cold and standoffish. Your friend was obviously joking.