Lodger thinks house is hers

[Amy3030]

I have a lodger who has slowly, over time, has made the house hers and I feel like the lodger now. Small changes made, which I put down to, she has to also live here as well, so I accept at the time and say nothing, but when I look at how things are now, I realise I was wrong and my house has been completely taken over in 5 months. I spend time away regularly, and changes always happen when I am not there, now, I have vertually no space in the fridge and freezer, maybe enough for 2 things if I squeeze them in. The front hallways has a massive show rack of 20 shoes. The bathroom is cawash with her products left everywhere, and when i tidy up, the next day, they are put back to where they were before. The dining room has been taken over, it is now an arts and crafts room, with units, table full of a hundred items, bottles everywhere, it is completely unuasable now and is her spare room. She does about 5 or 6 loads of washing a week, so is always 2 clothes racks full and drying all over the kitchen and front room. Now she has put expensive fan heaters in 2 rooms without asking me and I pay all ther bills, and at night, the noise from her bedroom fan heater keeps me awake, it is like a swarm of bees humming. And she takes baths twice a week, using 36 ltrs of water instead of a shower , using just 6ltrs. A few weeks ago, I noticed my bottle of champagne, which she knew about, I'd been saving for 20 years and is 25 years old and worth hundreds of pounds, it was opened and put away with a glass left. When I confronted her she said she knew nothing about it, and just hoped I would quesion myself over it, but I certainly didn't open it after saving it for 20 years. I looked in the black bags in the outside bin and I found the top cage to the champagne and the cover paper, so it was opened in the last week. And my kitchen chef knives are slowly dissapearing, have lost 2 already. When I go away for weekend to look after my sick mother, I dont want to go home. I say to people, I dont have a home anymore. I have even stayed out in the cold in the city to stop going home. I spend most of my time depressed and sometimes crying, and working out how to tell her to leave.

How awful for you.

I’m glad you will be giving her notice and agree with making sure you have a formal track of it. I would email, text and give her a letter (photograph it if you don’t have a printer). Let her know anything left behind will be taken to the tip and costs deducted from her deposit. Then don’t enter into any further discussion with her about it.

I hope your mum is ok.

give notice, get ID insurance protection in case she tries to steal your ID for further exploitation, take care of yourself and get yourself into assertiveness classes

Give her notice in writing. As soon as she is gone, change ALL the locks on the same day.

Do you have someone who can be with you when you tell her to leave. If so get them around ASAP.

Also, get the locks changed the second she is out of the door.

She is abusing you. Please look out for yourself.

Get rid of her and charge her for the champagne etc.

She's stealing from you. You don't need to give her any notice. Tell her to find alternative accommodation immediately. Why are you worried about how to tell her?

My biggest concern here is that she will take stuff of yours on the way out.

She has shown that she will steal from you, kitchen knives and champagne. She is gaslighting you over those.

So I would first, remove anythign of value, and also be very careful she can't access your credit card etc.

Then, put it in writing, you have 2 weeks to leave.
Either replace the kitchen knives and the champange (with same quality bottle) or I will remove £XX from the deposit to cover the cost.

I would also say - please remove all your stuff from my dining room this weekend.

Talk ot her face to fcae, and give her the copy of what you have said in writing. She will protest - I didn't take the champagne etc - just look at her and say - well it wasn't a ghost that put the foil top in th ebin last week was it? I was not born yesterday. Then ignore all further protest.

If dinding room isn't empty over the weekend, get some cardboard boxes and box it all up and put it in her room/garage. Th ereason for doing this is to quietly take back controla nd make her realise that you mean it and will follow through

I’m incensed just reading the OP. Get her out! I’m worried about the 4 weeks notice though because if she’s as vile as she sounds, she’s probably the type that won’t leave without a fight i.e will ensure causes more damage/steals/damages property before she leaves so OP really can’t give a long notice and in the meantime be confident the house and her property are safe when she’s not in.

For this reason alone I will give a very short notice (2days on the basis of theft) and wait in the house until she leaves then change the locks.
I’m not sure whether lodgers are covered by tenancy rights? but sure someone here will know.

Can you give less - or a bit more?

4 weeks today is Christmas day and with the best will in the world that's probably not the best day !

Don't blame yuo though she is clearly not a great lodger

Why are you tolerating this! I had a lodger one time only and never again but she had dyed her hair and there was a long drip on the white bath panel that stained purple. How she didn't even notice it and wipe it up there and then I don't know. But I made her py for the damage and then I let her go because she couldn't see what the issue was.

I have recently thrown a lodger out.

You need to put it in writing. The normal notice period that would be deemed reasonable in court (in case she throws a wobbler and refuses to leave) is the length of time she pays you board e.g. if they pay monthly then you give 4 weeks notice, if it is every 2 weeks you give 2 weeks notice.

I would pre order a new lock and change this as soon as she leaves. It is very simple to do. She has to be out on the day you state and you can then change the locks. If she is going to be difficult then you wait until she leaves the house for the day and then only let her back in to get her stuff. You can ask the police to be present.

If she has given you a deposit keep the cost of the knives and Champagne from it but put that in the letter.

Yes, just give her notice to leave ASAP, she obviously has no conscience about how much she is taking over your home, and making you unhappy. She may not like what you are going to do, but that's hard luck., as you don't like what she has been doing in your home. full stop!

I think some of the replies are too kind.

In the circumstances if it were possible I would support her belongings being left on the doorstep outside and the locks changed so she came back today to find herself locked out.

Just give her notice, if she pays monthly then a months notice, if she pays weekly a weeks notice, change the locks if she's not gone at the end of the notice period.

Amy I'm sorry to hear about your Mum's illness. You must be under a lot of stress. Get this woman out of your home, giving whatever notice is appropriate and concentrate then on yourself and your Mum. What an awful experience with that woman.

Copied from www.lodgerguide.co.uk

Other reasons for eviction

Depending on how inappropriate your lodger’s behaviour has been, depending on how serious the matter, you can still serve notice with 24hrs to a week’s notice. Make sure you always serve a written notice though, explaining your reasons for the short notice. Keep a copy for your own records, and make sure both are dated and signed.

Evicting with in the agreement terms

If you have legitimate grounds for eviction, you can serve notice early, even if the agreement doesn’t end for another 6 months.

Sample notices for lodgers in breach of agreement (available for use) Lodger Rent Arrears Eviction Notice (for non-payment of rent)Lodger Eviction Notice – Breach Of Agreement (other than non-payment of rent)

She’s not entitled to any notice, and with way she has lied stolen and gaslighted you I wouldn’t be giving anything like 4 weeks as that will be just before Christmas and she could push to get that extended.
Write her a letter make 2 copies and give one to her saying
This is your immediate notice to leave I feel things are no longer working for me so I need you to leave as soon as possible. For clarity as a licenced occupier you have no tenancy rights and must leave on request.

Please remove your possessions as soon as you can from shared areas of the house ie bathroom, hall, kitchen and dining area.

If you have a friend to witness this it might be good or alternatively put your phone on record (voice if you can’t film it).

Don’t discuss if she pushes back on it just do a broken record and tell her your mind is made up on the matter - if she really pushes tell her that she has abused the landlord /lodger relationship between you by taking your champagne and lying to you about it.

Utter madness! She needs to go.

Do you have to give her 4 weeks notice. It might just be reasonably notice. Be there when she goes.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/housing/renting-a-home/subletting-and-lodging/lodging/what-rights-do-lodgers-have/

She has lost her 'rights' (not that she had any but I can't think of how to put it) by stealing the bottle that she knew meant so much to you AND lying about it. She'd lost them before that for taking over your house and your fridge and freezer. She'd lost them a third time for making you feel so shut out of your own home that you stay away from it purposely!

PLEASE for your own sake, have someone around who has your back and give her notice to leave tonight. I - because I'm like you, too nice, would give her 2 weeks notice so that she would be out by the 11th December and hr stuff will be gone so you can relax and prepare for your own Christmas and unwind and enjoy what you can, as you want to with who you want to.

@BlueBrian

Just give her notice, if she pays monthly then a months notice, if she pays weekly a weeks notice, change the locks if she's not gone at the end of the notice period

This isn't necessary for a lodger. Lodgers have very few rights. And even if she was a tenant with an assured tenancy, stealing would waive her right to a notice period anyway. It's grounds for immediate eviction.

Did she pay a deposit, OP? Work out and deduct what she's stolen from what you return to her.

put times and dates in.

Dining room and bathroom clear this weekend, by Sunday night, or you will clear them.
Fridge cleared so only one shelf and half door occupied by Sunday night too.
Nothing further to be added to the freezer.

Leave with all possessions by xx date.

Money for champagne and kitchen knives padi in full or deducted from deposit.

Does she pay in advance, and how far ahead has she paid her rent? This might give you a leaving date. Eg end of the month this weekend, has she paid for December? if she hasn't she might not after you evict her, in which case it is with immediate effect due to stealing.

Christ almighty OP, you have my deepest sympathies for your Mum and what you are enduring...

Get this scum bag out of your home... ASAP.. give her notice Today.

I agree with everyone.. keep your valuables in a safe place..

Document everything- photo evidence of the champagne wrap in bin - everything.

For the theft of the champagne alone, you should evict her. Back in the 90s I was a lodger with a woman and her kid. I made sure to go to my room, tidy up after myself, not take over, but she resented my presence and it ended badly. You do not sound unreasonable, it just sounds like your lodger is a CF and a thief.

FGS bill her for the knives and champagne, and give her notice. Assume she will rob/damage your stuff in the interim so get legal advice on your actions. Good luck. C