Neighbour told my DS that Father Christmas isn't real

[myneighboursarebellends]

My DS9 is in the same class in school as the DC next door, so me and the neighbour take turns to do the school run in the mornings. We have only lived next door to each other for just over a year and they have been ok aside from a run in over a fence, a tree, and their DC having a stint of being mean to mine in school 🥴 I have been so non-confrontational with all of this stuff because I have to live next door to them and don't want hostile relations with neighbours!

However, today's episode has really crossed a line for me and I need your help to understand if it is reasonable for me to be so fucked off (and to tell me what to do!)

DS has just said to me that on the way to school this morning, dad neighbour told him that Father Christmas isn't real. This is how he says the conversation went:
My DS: will you have elf on the shelf in your house?
Neighbour: no because elf on the shelf is fake. Just like Father Christmas, he doesn't exist.
My DS: yes he does!
Neighbour: no he doesn't. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birth, and Father Christmas is just made up.
My DS: well I don't believe in Jesus, so I think he is made up
Neighbour: what do you mean! Jesus created the earth, and all of us.
My DS: well I thought god was supposed to have created the earth

Ok, the whole god and Jesus part isn't so relevant, just relaying what DS said. But aside from telling him Father Christmas isn't real, elf on the shelf isn't real, and telling him he has to believe in Jesus, the man isn't even Catholic/Christian anyway. His wife is though (non practicing) and their family celebrate Christmas with presents and a tree and big fucking flashing Christmas lights on the outside of the house.

How DARE he tell someone else's child that Father Christmas doesn't exist! Who does that? I don't feel like I can let this go without saying something but I feel as if I need to balance my response being mindful that I have to continue to live next door to them! I don't really want to continue with the lift sharing but I am imagining the awkwardness of us bundling the DC into our own cars every morning whilst avoiding eye contact and then again at the other end!!

@GlomOfNit

What a weird thing for your NDN to say if he doesn't even believe in magic sky fairies! And agree with other posters, if he is a Christian, how bloody ungracious and mean minded to say that to a kid.

Nine years is, IMO, perfectly ok an age to still believe in FC fervently. My own DS is 12 and this is his first year of truly knowing the terrible Truth. He's harboured deep doubts for a couple of years, apparently, and was the last of his friends to fall, but back when they were 9, loads of them still believed. It was lovely.

That is what makes it even stranger, as the neighbour isn't even Christian himself. He follows an entirely different religion 🤷🏼‍♀️ his wife is a non practicing Christian, so they celebrate Christmas and Easter, and his religious traditional festivities too. So you would envisage that they would be a family that welcomes and respects diversity!

Out of order

My nine year old, year 4, believes, his whole class seems to, snd I’d be gutted if someone took that fairytale away from him/me. How dare he. I’d definitely tell the dad he was out for order and has spoilt what could be one of the last years to celebrate in that way.

I would flip. It's not anyone's place to tell someone else's child that Father Christmas isn't real.
They grow up so fast and if they can keep the magic alive a little longer, what's the harm?

I'd be livid tbh

feigning little twerps
The twerps in this instance being the parents. As a PP has said, it's for them, this fostering of - or themselves being desperate to believe in - credulous "innocence" in their children.

Well, obviously the neighbour was wrong to tell another child that Santa/Father Christmas isn't real, but it also wasn't very nice of your child to answer back that Jesus isn't real... (Yes, yes, I know, adult vs child...)

The whole exchange is strange, to say the least. I think I'd limit the time my child spent with that man. It doesn't matter what you say to him. It won't change him into the kind of person (i.e. an adult of average intelligence) who understands that one can't go around telling children that Santa's not real.

@theThreeofWeevils

feigning little twerps The twerps in this instance being the parents. As a PP has said, it's for them, this fostering of - or themselves being desperate to believe in - credulous "innocence" in their children.

Fucking hell, surely you have bigger 'issues' to get het up about which are more deserving of your ire than children over the age of 7 who believe in FC and their parents being ok with it?

@VetiverAndLavender

Well, obviously the neighbour was wrong to tell another child that Santa/Father Christmas isn't real, but it also wasn't very nice of your child to answer back that Jesus isn't real... (Yes, yes, I know, adult vs child...)

The whole exchange is strange, to say the least. I think I'd limit the time my child spent with that man. It doesn't matter what you say to him. It won't change him into the kind of person (i.e. an adult of average intelligence) who understands that one can't go around telling children that Santa's not real.

It was a childish response, granted, from the mouth of a child.

@BeTheHokeyMan

Only on mumsnet would you see a 9 year old child ridiculed for believing in santa

This!!!

Objectively speaking though...

Father Xmas and feedinf such false information to children isn’t parental rights and goes against honesty.

I’m not trying to undermine how you feel but I think a world that has to agree to have a secret code to allow parents to lie to children and saying the truth would be overstepping, is a problem.

It’s not the same as brainwashing ur child into another belief or undermining your belief to him. I think that would be overstepping.

But I think father Xmas at nine ? Trying to protect that lie around a 9 year old is a bit much

It’s about time you have a conversation with him about it I think. If ur wasn’t the Neigbour it would be someone else.

Also I'm shocked at the amount of bitchiness on here.
He's a child.
A lot of children believe in Father Christmas.
It does not make the child/his mother bad people. 🙄

You all seriously need to get a grip and ask yourselves why you get off and talking to people like shit for literally no reason.
If you find a 9 year old believing in Santa a reason to kick off, you're a miserable arsehole and I HOPE SANTA PUTS COAL IN YOUR STOCKING! ✌️

It does not make the child/his mother bad people. 🙄

Are you 5? Whose talking about bad people? Whatever that means

Maybe I do. Maybe this is recreation.
I don't think anyone has defended your neighbour, and nor would I, because it's not his affair. But I would be very surprised if your son didn't know the score anyway.I didn't find the conversation as reported rang true, either.

Oh ffs a ‘secret code that allows parents to lie to children’....really? It’s just supposed to be a bit of magic. A bit of magic and wonderment for small people in the depths of winter, it doesn’t harm anyone, just brings them joy. Lots of children mature at different ages, so what if a nine year old still wants to believe? Who gives a fuck? There’s a lot of mean old nasty grinches on this thread who need to get a life.

@MaskingForIt

If your 9 year old still really believed in Father Christmas then I’d say you have bigger problems than what the neighbouring child said.

Don't be ridiculous.

@theThreeofWeevils

Maybe I do. Maybe this is recreation. I don't think anyone has defended your neighbour, and nor would I, because it's not his affair. But I would be very surprised if your son didn't know the score anyway.I didn't find the conversation as reported rang true, either.

Please tell me which part of the conversation 'doesn't ring true'

@Temporary1234 thank you for providing an example of the bitchiness I was referring to.

At 9, your son almost certainly knows that Father Christmas isn't real, even if he enjoys the fantasy. I woudn't worry too much about that side. I would, however, be a bit annoyed that your neighbour is preaching to him.

OP, I too would be fuming. I am truly shocked at some of the responses on here. I intend to let my daughter believe/pretend to believe for as long as she wants to. That’s my choice. My friends little boy has know from age 4 that Father Christmas isn’t real and that’s up to her. I don’t judge her for it and she doesn’t judge me. We all have different ways of bringing a little magic to our children’s lives.

I would be very angry too, tbh I dont think I would be seeing them much anymore, are your children good friends?

I dont think the point is only Santa. We live in multicultural world, we should respect each others views, would you be happy for your neighbour to tell you child what they beleive is the only truth?
What if the neighbour was telling them that covod isn't real or whataver. It is not for stranger to decide.

Fucking hell, surely you have bigger 'issues' to get het up about which are more deserving of your ire than children over the age of 7 who believe in FC and their parents being ok with it?

But you started a thread about that very subject. Why is it ok for you to be pissed off that your NDN told the truth to your child, and not for others to be pissed off at your insistence at keeping up a lie which, lets face it, is probably more for you than him?

What an asshat.

9 is not too old to believe at all. I'm assuming he's winter born too and one of the eldest in the class do can quite believe most of his class still believe, seeing as most will still be 8. At this time in year 4 mine will have only just turned 8 as as she's end if August so yes I'd be gutted if my shitty neighbour saw fit to tell my daughter Father Christmas doesn't exist.

Please tell me which part of the conversation 'doesn't ring true
Your child maintaining Jesus is made up but that he believes God created the earth, actually. I eagerly await posts saying you are not from a Christian culture; but since you haven't indicated you aren't, I was taking that as read.

I should say that I dont think your NDN was right to do that, but thats because I think we should all respect (and if necessary make appropriate "Hmmmm" noises") others beliefs.

Stop press ' Adult tells child the truth'!

If it bothers you, just tell your kid it is fake news and course Santa is real. They will believe if they want to......

They do tend to cotton on between 8 and 11 though......

Often takes longer to clock on to the God an Jesus myth but that is because that is bandied around as 'truth' much for widely, often by adults who could know better. Again, if you want it to be true, you believe it. I think with Father Christmas and with God wanting to believe is half of it.