Neighbour told my DS that Father Christmas isn't real

[myneighboursarebellends]

My DS9 is in the same class in school as the DC next door, so me and the neighbour take turns to do the school run in the mornings. We have only lived next door to each other for just over a year and they have been ok aside from a run in over a fence, a tree, and their DC having a stint of being mean to mine in school 🥴 I have been so non-confrontational with all of this stuff because I have to live next door to them and don't want hostile relations with neighbours!

However, today's episode has really crossed a line for me and I need your help to understand if it is reasonable for me to be so fucked off (and to tell me what to do!)

DS has just said to me that on the way to school this morning, dad neighbour told him that Father Christmas isn't real. This is how he says the conversation went:
My DS: will you have elf on the shelf in your house?
Neighbour: no because elf on the shelf is fake. Just like Father Christmas, he doesn't exist.
My DS: yes he does!
Neighbour: no he doesn't. Christmas is about celebrating Jesus' birth, and Father Christmas is just made up.
My DS: well I don't believe in Jesus, so I think he is made up
Neighbour: what do you mean! Jesus created the earth, and all of us.
My DS: well I thought god was supposed to have created the earth

Ok, the whole god and Jesus part isn't so relevant, just relaying what DS said. But aside from telling him Father Christmas isn't real, elf on the shelf isn't real, and telling him he has to believe in Jesus, the man isn't even Catholic/Christian anyway. His wife is though (non practicing) and their family celebrate Christmas with presents and a tree and big fucking flashing Christmas lights on the outside of the house.

How DARE he tell someone else's child that Father Christmas doesn't exist! Who does that? I don't feel like I can let this go without saying something but I feel as if I need to balance my response being mindful that I have to continue to live next door to them! I don't really want to continue with the lift sharing but I am imagining the awkwardness of us bundling the DC into our own cars every morning whilst avoiding eye contact and then again at the other end!!

Stop sharing the school run with him. Tell him why. It will inconvenience you both but at least your DS won’t have to deal with anything else dickhead neighbour says.

I have never told my kids FC was real, but I would never tell another kid he wasnt. It isnt your neighbour's place to say it, nasty of him and he knew what he was saying

But how sad that a child doesnt believe in Jesus, but does believe in FC. What a strange world we live in

’m a Christian - you can be a Christian and talk about the birth of Jesus and do Father Christmas. Your neighbour is bang out of line

Key his car

That's what Jesus would do.

What do you mean Father Christmas isn't real? He exists until you don't believe, parents take over then making space for all the new kids on Earth.
Get a skip of coal delivered very late Christmas Eve dumped on his drive - if he was my neighbour this would be happening for the next couple of years.

Reconsider your school run arrangements. I Believe!!

I do take on board the elf on the shelf annoyance. I did outline that straight after my opening post. I got caught up in it when DC was little and didn't think about how fucking annoying it would be to keep it up year after year. I wouldn't be overly annoyed if he had just said 'oh we don't believe in elf on the shelf' but he didn't. He went on to say, unprompted, 'and Father Christmas isn't real either'. It's just so unnecessary. And he has no business lecturing someone else's child about Jesus either.

@BloggersBlog

I have never told my kids FC was real, but I would never tell another kid he wasnt. It isnt your neighbour's place to say it, nasty of him and he knew what he was saying

But how sad that a child doesnt believe in Jesus, but does believe in FC. What a strange world we live in

Why is it sad that he doesn't believe in Jesus?

@MaskingForIt

If your 9 year old still really believed in Father Christmas then I’d say you have bigger problems than what the neighbouring child said.

What a mean spirited response.

I believed in Santa when I was this age, and I have a lovely childhood. Why are people in such a rush for kids to grow up.

My DD is 9 and I told her this year because I didnt want her to find out somewhere else. A lot of her school mates have older siblings and I figured that telling her that FC is the spirit of Xmas that leads us to giving gifts to each other, was better than "Santa isnt real, you parents are lying" which is what DC1 got when he was about 6, from school.

She is now part of the secret, and she loves that she can keep it going for the little ones at her school.

I've never met a NT 9 year old who believes literally in Father Christmas so for me it's the total opposite of a previous comment. I can't see how you can get to the middle of junior school without figuring out that it's not possible as your critical thinking grows. I reckon a lot of kids are playing along if they are claiming to still think it's real. No child should be ridiculed though. You can still have the fun of putting out stockings or whatever.

Is your neighbour a Jehovah's Witness?

They don't celebrate Christmas but do believe in the divinity of Jesus.

What a horrible thing to say to a child

@BloggersBlog

I have never told my kids FC was real, but I would never tell another kid he wasnt. It isnt your neighbour's place to say it, nasty of him and he knew what he was saying

But how sad that a child doesnt believe in Jesus, but does believe in FC. What a strange world we live in

People are entitled to their own belief systems. It infuriates me when people make these value statements.

I absolutely respect people’s beliefs, but I absolutely do not think god is real.

It’s not sad that a child doesn’t believe in Jesus. My niece was seven when she realised, of her own accord, that a man wrote the Bible and therefore it isn’t real. You don’t believe that, but there is Nothing sad about her making up her own mind on this issue.

@Fink

But Father Christmas doesn't exist. You're angry with your neighbour for refusing to lie to your child. How bizarre. Can you think of any other area of life where you would actively encourage another adult to be deliberately untruthful with your child? If you want to make up stories with your child and play a make believe game together, that's your choice, but you surely can't expect every other person your child comes into contact with to play along.

Are you the mother of the gifted child🤨 Sounds like you’d suck the joy out of every occasion.

I should add that it is for the parents to discuss this not other adults who think they know what's best.

@SchadenfreudePersonified

Is your neighbour a Jehovah's Witness?

They don't celebrate Christmas but do believe in the divinity of Jesus.

No, he's not.

@FitterHappierMoreProductive believing in Father Christmas doesn’t make you less intelligent at 9 wtf?

I'm expecting ds 6 to work it out in the next couple of years as he's a fairly logical child who knows that ghosts,elves,werewolfs and the like aren't real but that's for him to decide.If anyone told him like your neighbour did i wouldn't be happy at all.

Why is it sad that he doesn't believe in Jesus?

Whether people like it or not, our country was built on Christian principles, for both good and ill, and the Christian message personified in Jesus is one of love and tolerance - I think it's sad that he doesn't believe in a man who brought a message of peace to the world, even thought that message has been corrupted and twisted by many people.

Your DS seems to believe in God - who he says created everything. If your family is even nominally Christian, why would he not believe in Jesus? Jesus is a real historical figure (even if you debate his divinity) and in fact, without Jesus there would be no Father Christmas (Santa Claus = Saint Nicolas - a Christian Saint) and we wouldn't be celebrating Christmas.

Possibly we'd be celebrating Terry Pratchett's "Hogfather" instead . . .

@Tadpolesandfroglets

I would have to agree because I did believe until my mum told me! 😂. But it does show a stunning lack of critical thinking skills for that age.

@WoolieLiberal

Are you a town/city person or village.

A friend who grew up in a small
village told me she and all her Village Primary friends still believed as late as Y6 and got ridiculed in first yr at town secondary that first Christmas!

Around here year six is perfectly normal. If anything it seems to last longer than when I was a kid.

We’ve always said different people believe different things and you have to decide for yourself what you believe in the same as many other things.

I have known lots and lots of 9 year olds who still believe! (Multiple different primary schools / different areas / home ed kids.) Yes, there is always the discussion between kids of “is he real or isn’t he?” But it definitely wasn’t your neighbour’s place to say that.

At five, I'd be upset. But nine????

@SchadenfreudePersonified

’m a Christian - you can be a Christian and talk about the birth of Jesus and do Father Christmas. Your neighbour is bang out of line

Key his car

That's what Jesus would do.

😂😂😂😂😂

my god I can't believe some people think year 4 is too old to believe in Santa
why are our children forced to grow up so fast these days?
I'd be furious too op he had no right to do that

Your neighbour sounds like a dick to be honest.
But also, I probably wouldn't have found myself sharing school runs with anyone who a) lived next door to me (too close for comfort imo, precisely for these sort of reasons, and b) anyone whose child had already been mean to mine.

Personally, I wouldn't bother saying anything, but I would back right off and try to re-establish a neighbour and no more relationship.