What would you do? Teachers advise 🙏 please

[Whatwouldyoydo]

My 16 yr old dd has just called me in tears.
Currently in 6th form and has been having issues with a male teacher, quite young tries to be funny but often misses the mark.
Several time he’s made wtf comments etc
Today he announced loudly that ‘ Claire wears short skirts to attract the boys” and when no one responded as they were quite shocked he said it again louder.
Dd was so upset she left the room for the toilet and her friend brought her the bag as class was ending.
Dd feels shamed. Fwiw dd dresses totally appropriately. (Dds name is not really Claire)

Dd said she’s complained to another teacher at school about it. Apparently the teacher in question was very anxious when dd didn’t return to class and probably realised he’s overstepped and was asking the girls to txt dd.
What would you do? Leave it for dd to manage the follow up or step up and intervene.

@GabsAlot

It happened today. DD’s friend came to the toilet with her belongings from class.
Dd went to student services - they are very organised and the student suoooet is very professional. Dd said they took it very seriously and completed complaint form etc comforted dd called the teacher a ‘sexist git’ and organised for dd to have inline counselling.

Dd called us when she left school after talking to the member of staff.
Dd is concerned about the teacher treating her badly as a result. I suppose that’s natural and also what stops people complaining.

I would write to the head teacher and a separate letter to the Board of Governors, and make the head teacher aware of the letter to the Board of Governors. There will have to be a discussion about it and it will go on the minutes.

If he is a new teacher, all the more reason for this to be a real learning opportunity (to learn that he has no future in teaching like this and will be lucky to continue on intact).

I'm also a teacher and have been Head of Sixth Form, and he needs reporting immediately, and in my school would probably lose his job or at least be on a final warning. This if he immediately accepts responsibility and shows an understanding of how out of line this is.

I do want to stick up for teachers who go abroad though-- the vast majority of international schools do the same checks as a UK school does or they wouldn't be accredited by COBIS, CIS, ISI etc. So having returned from Dubai isn't automatically a reason for suspicion!

@Someone1987

Times have changed. When I was at school 13(!)years ago, teachers were often saying comments. Like pointing out holes in tights under the table , watching us in the swimming pool or staring at our chest. One would tell another girl how pretty she was. These days things are not allowed as they were before. Could you have a word with the teacher yoursel?

Hell no. I trained to teach fifteen years ago and these comments were sackable offences then (as indeed they were ten years earlier when I was a pupil in the nineties).

Glad student support have acted well, they will have already complained so your letter will add evidence. Perfect.

Quite frankly, I wouldn't want him around my sixteen year old DD and most right thinking parents would feel the same. He should be made very, very aware.

yes of course dont blame her

glad theres alredy a complaint put in

Times have changed. When I was at school 13(!)years ago, teachers were often saying comments. Like pointing out holes in tights under the table , watching us in the swimming pool or staring at our chest. One would tell another girl how pretty she was.
These days things are not allowed as they were before.
Could you have a word with the teacher yoursel?

Are you implying it's a pity that times have changed?!

Worrying that there are people like this out there! I hope you have no safeguarding responsibilities!!

I'm a pastoral worker in sixth form and if one of my students brought this to me I'd report it and expect it to be investigated. At the very least that teacher needs more training.

The teacher has had the training. It's beyond that now.

At the very least that teacher needs more training.

A 35-year-old man shouldn't need training to know that humiliating a teenage girl with a sexual comment isn't acceptable.

A 35-year-old teacher has already had considerable training and therefore to make a comment like that shows he doesn't give a shit about the training he's had.

@5863921l I dont know where I implied it's a pity times have changed, more the opposite. It is sad that it was allowed to happen when I was at school and it's entirely right it is not allowed now.

@Hamm87 it doesn't matter if OP's daughter crawled into his desk, did a strip tease and queefed in his face, he is a teacher and 👏 he 👏 does 👏 not 👏 get👏 to 👏 humiliate 👏 kids.

If he has concerns about conduct or dress code he relays these through proper channels, and actually if the OP's daughter is acting sexually predatory or inappropriate that would be a safeguarding concern for him to raise himself, not start slobbering over her like a fucking nonce.

What an idiot.
I was a teacher for 9 years and remarks like that are not ok. No matter what. No matter where. Heck I used to teach in a male prison at the age of 20 and I absolutely made sure every single even slightly dodgy remark was reported. This is career suicide on his part.
There is a difference between “oh Olivia I do think your hair looks pretty like that” “cool trainers Archie” “awesome braces, Ruby, love the colour” and what he has said - all of those are examples of things I have said to students (names changed). You see there is a distinct difference and humiliation of a child is never ok.

My first reaction on reading about this horrifying incident was that this teacher was acting in a very immature way - possibly in his first teaching post and not taken all the training on board., and that for his own sake he needs pulling up short, and further training, before he completely wrecks his career.
Then in a later post it becomes apparent that he is well into his career, married with a child. (What sort of role model is that for a young child? How long will his wife be hanging around?)
So I think we can safely say that he is well past the "rap on the knuckles" stage, bulldozing his way out of the teaching profession.
He's obviously panicking now, and probably knows he was in the wrong by not even raising the "missing pupil" alarm. Although the head will not discuss it with you, I'd be surprised if this is his first crossing of boundaries ( and it sounds as if there'll be a hot time in the Staff Room tonight!)
It is to the credit of the young men in the class that they did not cravenly go along with his awful behaviour; it would seem that he has been in a setting where "laddish banter" would have been acceptable.
When speaking to the head, I would mention the fact that the pupils were so sensible and mature!

Formal written complaint to the head and raise it as a safeguarding issue with ofsted. This is sexual harassment in the classroom.

Again, thank you everyone. I really appreciate the clarity you all provide.
Dd doesn’t have a class with the teacher tomorrow but will go to school for other classes.
I will update you with the response from the head tomorrow or as it unfolds.

How are you getting on @Whatwouldyoydo?

@Thingsdogetbetter

Teacher here. Completely inappropriate. He will have lots of training on issues like this! Lots! He has chosen to ignore his training. This is not naivety. Either he's trying to be 'cool' and hasn't learnt that he needs to have boundaries as a teacher (to protect himself), or he's a creep (and students need protecting).

Complain.

Absolutely this. You have a responsibility to complain now she has told you. Teenage girls really really shouldn't have to put up with this- and as well as him being dealt with it sends a string message to the girls that they dont have to tolerate it.

*strong message obvs

@Tippexy

I received an acknowledgment email this morning from the head who also apologised to us and dd.
It’s being treated very seriously and the head of year is investigating.

WHAT THE FUCKING ACTUAL SHIT

That was very much my reaction on reading that post. I had hope it was just a bad error of judgement but that dialogue is much worse than I'd imagined.

I'm utterly stunned any teacher would say something like that.

The teacher isn't fit to teach unless he is given a formal warning and given more guidance.

I can't see any way he won't get a lot more than that. You don't need to be sick of men- anyone should be furious at an incident like that.

I hope he gets sacked.

I don't see how he can be anything but a creep. It would be creepy outside the classroom too. From his response, it seems as if he is used to dismissing negative responses to his harassment. I'd be really surprised if the school didn't know what he was like already, this can't have come from nowhere.

An acknowledgment email? I would have thought the head would have the courtesy to speak to you! And the head of year investigating? I hope this is just to verify your daughters account as the head should be directly dealing with the teacher.