What would you do? Teachers advise 🙏 please

[Whatwouldyoydo]

My 16 yr old dd has just called me in tears.
Currently in 6th form and has been having issues with a male teacher, quite young tries to be funny but often misses the mark.
Several time he’s made wtf comments etc
Today he announced loudly that ‘ Claire wears short skirts to attract the boys” and when no one responded as they were quite shocked he said it again louder.
Dd was so upset she left the room for the toilet and her friend brought her the bag as class was ending.
Dd feels shamed. Fwiw dd dresses totally appropriately. (Dds name is not really Claire)

Dd said she’s complained to another teacher at school about it. Apparently the teacher in question was very anxious when dd didn’t return to class and probably realised he’s overstepped and was asking the girls to txt dd.
What would you do? Leave it for dd to manage the follow up or step up and intervene.

He should be sacked, imo.

completely unacceptable, and he doubled down on the sexist, bullying comment.

@Hamm87

Its not about the skirt I already said he went 2 far with that I personally think is wrong that when I kid sits down you can see there knickers thats what I find wrong, yes teacher was wrong about bringing it up and the makeup and no one knows if he followed it up when she ran off its all one-sided based on what a 16 year old who was caught passing messages has said so first thing I would do if find out from different sources what really happened and sorry is my opinion on kids wearing clothes that are borderline indecent seems to get ppls backs up, but I have my views and you have yours, oh and to the nasty person who pointed out my grammar can rot in hell I already know my grammar is shit and there is a reason behind that

It doesn't matter whether you think it's wrong about the skirt length. Your views are dangerous.

@Fatas

An acknowledgment email? I would have thought the head would have the courtesy to speak to you! And the head of year investigating? I hope this is just to verify your daughters account as the head should be directly dealing with the teacher.

I would have expected a call as well.

Hopefully it's a sign they're busy investigating, but I wouldn't be impressed by an email simply acknowledging three serious issues (the comment, the repeating it and the not bothering his arse that she was missing from his class other than asking kids to text her).

The investigation has to be carried out by a teacher NOT by the Head as it is they who will chair the disciplinary panel and can't therefore investigate. The investigation will be carried out and the evidence presented to the panel and a decision made then.

@Fatas

A holding e-mail is normal. The head will have contacted the head of department to start the ball rolling with an investigation. They won’t want it say anything definite until there is more info.

He'd be in massive shit at my school, if not fired. Disgusting creep.

I know a teacher who's just been sacked for making an almost identical comment. Too right as well. Complain. Your poor DD

He now has to decide to go before he's pushed.

@Maireas

He now has to decide to go before he's pushed.

Who has?

@Someone1987

Times have changed. When I was at school 13(!)years ago, teachers were often saying comments. Like pointing out holes in tights under the table , watching us in the swimming pool or staring at our chest. One would tell another girl how pretty she was. These days things are not allowed as they were before. Could you have a word with the teacher yoursel?

Wasn't acceptable then either!

OP your daughter must have been distraught and you must be horrified. Hope you get a resolution. (In person rather than on email)

Teacher is an absolute creep and shouldn't be teaching if they can't control themselves.

So this morning in school the female member of staff that dd talked to yesterday prior to leaving school took her out of class for a chat.

The staff member told dd that she had spoken to David (the teacher- they use first names—-not real name), and that he was sorry and would dd go and see him as he would like to apologise.

Dd said “since we talked yesterday my parents have contacted the head so I don’t think that would be appropriate”.

The staff member looked shocked and agreed with dd and sent her back to class.
I think therefore it was wise to follow up with a complaint.

Oh gosh. Your DD did the right thing. Please do flag that up to the head. That's also inappropriate. Wildly so.

Oh my goodness! That's terrible. I agree with what's just been said and inform the head about this as well.

@Whatwouldyoydo this teacher should also be in trouble if she’s not said anything to anyone. She should have passed this on immediately as it was a safeguarding issue.

The head should have spoken to you, even to check that your daughter was okay.

The head can investigate, or at least the deputy, not a bloody head of year fgs! This is not how it works at the places I’ve worked at.

Dd said the head of year was very respectful and kind and appeared quite shocked by the details when they actually unpacked it.

@Fatas

I actually think the fact that dd is so switched on was beneficial for the member of staff today.
Basically she told dd to go - alone to see the male teacher ?
If dd had felt unable to advocate for herself in that moment, I’m not sure how that would have played out for everyone.
I’m certain I wouldn’t have kept my composure.

Yeah, that's wildly inappropriate

@Whatwouldyoydo

So this morning in school the female member of staff that dd talked to yesterday prior to leaving school took her out of class for a chat.

The staff member told dd that she had spoken to David (the teacher- they use first names—-not real name), and that he was sorry and would dd go and see him as he would like to apologise.

Dd said “since we talked yesterday my parents have contacted the head so I don’t think that would be appropriate”.

The staff member looked shocked and agreed with dd and sent her back to class.
I think therefore it was wise to follow up with a complaint.

Please make sure this is flagged up to the Head.

It is completely inappropriate and suggests to me that there's a massively casual attitude to safeguarding and proper procedure among more than one member of staff in the school.

[quote Whatwouldyoydo]@Fatas

I actually think the fact that dd is so switched on was beneficial for the member of staff today.
Basically she told dd to go - alone to see the male teacher ?
If dd had felt unable to advocate for herself in that moment, I’m not sure how that would have played out for everyone.
I’m certain I wouldn’t have kept my composure.[/quote]
It shouldn't need a teenage girl to be so switched on. That's bloody ridiculous.

It sounds like if your DD had gone to see the teacher involved then no senior management would have been involved or notified.

Is this female teacher part of student support that you mentioned yesterday?

Totally agree. Email the Head of Year and ask for a phone conversation.

Is this a state school?

@lyralalala
Yes, the female that talked to dd this morning is the member of the student support team that dd talked to yesterday. I just couldn’t remember her job title when I posted. I’ve had wine

@borageforager

Yes

Look back at some of the worst safeguarding issues (not necessarily saying this is one of them) and you see that lots of people saw a small but wrong but nobody knew enough to put it all together. Tell someone your concerns who may be privy to more and who could begin to put the big picture together if there is one. If there isn’t maybe he’ll just be warned and grow up a bit.

Not quite on topic and definitely not the point but you must be so proud of how your daughter is handling herself. Good job, mum 👍