AIBU about his kidd xmas day?

[MyWitzEnd]

DH has two kids aged 21 and 18. This year they are coming to is supposedly for xmas. DH has just told me that his DD wants them to come on the 23rd and go home on the 25th. This would mean i would be in my own for nearly three hours xmas day as he does the round trip. I had bo choice other than to agree and now feel mean at feeling cross.

@PatriciaPerch

yeah we have 5 hour round trip to pick our son up from univeristy aswell, I'm sure alot of people do with 'children' that age

On Christmas Day...?

The winter, maybe they are selfish?

Maybe they want the it dad to prove he loves them by doing things like this? Maybe they feel he is selfish and they feel let down.

Maybe they literally do not realise the hassle of this because they don't drive.

They are however, his immediate close family, people he chose to bring into this world, they didn't ask too.

I'm sure op can cope and enjoy all the other hours of Xmas day as well as all the other days of Xmas?

New and who can blame them for that golden key? When it's highly likely their world was shattered, their security lost, with whatever impacts that had on them with their dp break up?. Usually left with a broken grieving mother...

Christmas day is actually a really nice day to drive, lovely and quiet on the roads.

It’s not nice that you weren’t included in the planning and it’s not unreasonable for you to say that in a non-confrontational way. I’d say that I’d like to be consulted in future years.

Then plan an enjoyable three hours for yourself while your DH drives miles on Christmas Day.

Christmas Day is ‘the day’ so I understand you not wanting it to be disrupted. I suppose it depends on why they want to leave on Christmas Day though. Do they have to be at work, are they going to see their mum? Both of those would be valid reasons for the disruption.
Just try to enjoy a few hours peace, have a nap or have a glass of wine whilst watching a film.

I can't believe the hard time you're being given here, OP. Of course him being away and leaving you on your own for three hours is no big deal usually, but on Christmas Day, that's quite something different. Plus, depending on the time of day, it's not even necessarily just three hours and then back as you were: the drive will be very tiring for him, so he might even just want to fall asleep when he gets back. Also, many people enjoy an alcoholic drink or two on Christmas Day - that's something he'll be denied.

I know somebody like this - older than his two, but still very reliant on her long-retired Dad for lifts everywhere. Sometimes, they aren't very long journeys, but they take away a lot of flexibility and spontaneity from his day - or the ability to have a stroll down to the pub, should he wish to. She too thinks about how timings of trips will suit her schedule and it doesn't seem to cross her mind whether it suits him, or that it's twice the driving for him for the return trip. It also never seems to enter her head that his car runs on expensive petrol and not tap water.

At their age, I really think they need to accept that, until they can drive themselves, they need to get their long-distance travelling done either before or after Christmas Day - but not right in the middle of what is also somebody else's CD.

Unless you are disable and you need your husband there, you are making a big deal out of nothing. It's 3 hours!! A film and a short nap, or 3 hours surfing the internet for the best sales

Can you not cope for those three hours on Christmas Day?
What if your partner was a doctor/police officer/ paramedic etc...?

Then he would be dealing with emergencies that could not have been planned for, or waited until, another day. There's a very good reason why people aren't given appointments for routine check-ups or elective surgery on Christmas Day.

3 hours?

Everyone who needs to see each other a bit on the day does so?

I’m not seeing the issue.

Waiting for the drip feed, but unless you have minor children, I don’t get the problem. Tuck in with some snacks, a cocktail, and a Xmas movie.

yes I am taking back to university on Christmas day he will start arguing about the answers being wrong in trivial pursuit, he will ruin charades and I just can't face monopoly and nibbles on boxing day

What's the point for either of you in spending Christmas together at all if you don't really get on with each other? Travelling on Christmas Day to visit or deliver somebody to other family members is one thing, but wanting to give up the best part of your Christmas Day to take somebody back to an empty room and then drive home again sounds a very strange choice to make to me.

Go with them?

Oh I'd love 3 hours to myself to just sit in my food coma and watch crap on the TV (and drink wine).

But if you're not into that, can't you go with them? Christmas tunes the whole way! Be merry!

If someone said their DH was going somewhere for 3 hours on Christmas Day - to see the MIL, to play golf or cycle - he’d be called selfish and OP would no doubt quickly be told to LTB

He’s seeing his children over Christmas- hardly the same as playing golf now is it? Or are you saying the OP can’t possibly be left alone for three hours so he can see his own children on Christmas Day? Yeah what a heartless bastard he sounds! She should totally leave him.

Good grief.

@Tadpolesandfroglets

Go with them?

This.

Take some sweets. Stick some festive CD's on and have a sing along.

Sorted.

Put on a film, neck Prosecco and open the chocolate.
Sorted.

I love having time to myself to do just this and it wouldn't make any difference to me if it was Christmas Day either.

apostrophe fail :(

I'd love 3 hours alone on Xmas day... Enough time to watch the railway children, sink a few gins and eat half a supersize tin of quality street. Uninterrupted. I'm jealous!

I can see why it’s annoyingly but it is up to him. Could you have someone else over in Xmas Day to keep you company? Or could you go along and keep him company on the way back?

Three hours?

Presumably you have been with DH for the entirety of lockdown etc, they, I presume, have not.

Get a grip.

DH is doing similar with DSS. I'm just so happy that we get to spend some.of the day with him. There isn't much more important family that our kids.

I used to love Baileys but when I tried Coole Swan I myuch preferred it, its lovely, highly recommend trying it.