AIBU about his kidd xmas day?

[MyWitzEnd]

DH has two kids aged 21 and 18. This year they are coming to is supposedly for xmas. DH has just told me that his DD wants them to come on the 23rd and go home on the 25th. This would mean i would be in my own for nearly three hours xmas day as he does the round trip. I had bo choice other than to agree and now feel mean at feeling cross.

I wouldn’t mind. Would have a nice walk then play cheesy music.

@Ilove

I am very confused...they are not children..

They’re step children. Presumably being from a broken home and having to put up with the horror or having a stepmum means whatever they want goes forever more. If dad doesn’t jump to their tune he’s failing them. If OP objects she’s evil. Hopefully someone’s saving for therapy for them. Being a step child is more significant than being an adult.

I also agree that this seems to be them not thinking about dad enjoying Christmas, why not go xmas eve or Boxing Day morning?

It's not something I feel I could begrudge though, why is it outrageous that his dc want to see him?

@Fudgsicles

I wouldn't like it. Why do 2 adults get to dictate exactly when they are taken home? Surely it needs to be convenient for your DH and yourself as well.

I assume the OP is an adult aswell. Why does she get to dictate? It obviously is convenient for their dad since he's doing it.

@TheRubyRedshoes

It's not something I feel I could begrudge though, why is it outrageous that his dc want to see him?

Has OP said it’s outrageous they want to see him? No one mentioned outrage did they. It’s a shame they can’t be more considerate than expecting their dad to do a 3 hour round trip and skip part of his Christmas rather than fitting their taxi-requiring plans around their hosts plans.

Three hours, have a film, couple of baileys and some party bites, bliss!

@SuperCaliFragalistic

You marry someone with kids (yes, even young adult kids) and you have to expect a certain amount of his time will be taken up by them. If he didn't want to drive them back he could say no but presumably he's happy to do it.

Not enough info.The children could be pretty selfish. As adults, expecting to chauffeured by they’re dad on Christmas Day, woukdn’t be very mature.Stay the day so no one is put out by you.

However If they need to be back ie shift work on Boxing Day and want a drink on Christmas Day fair enough. DH can drink when he gets home and three hours alone us nothing.

What time do they want to leave? If you all have a nice lunch, they help with clean up and then you get to chill out- I'm not sure why you are so miffed? Is there more to it?

Christmas Day is not the best day to be taxi driver.

I understand the maybe wanting a drink on Christmas Day..Can they not got home on the 26th Dec?

Step families will always have capacity for upset, but going home on Boxing Day might be better?
They really need a car of their own.
Public transport is dire around Christmas.

Unless there's a huge drip feed, get a grip.

We used to have to do this with my stepson but once he was old enough to drive but decided not to, he had to come and go when it suited us not him. Didn't pass til he was 25 in the end cos he just couldn't be bothered to learn - he was always ok about it though. I wouldn't mind some me time on Christmas day but understand your frustration OP.

Go with them?

Lots of people spend a bit of time alone on Christmas Day as they move between family (maybe less so this year).

Talk to your husband, make sure his time away suits plans for meals etc.

It seems like a problem you could both solve pretty easily.

Driving lessons for Christmas for the kids maybe - they can drive themselves next year

Any other year, I would say YANBU, that's really disruptive and will spoil the dynamics of the day.

I'm guessing that with the COVID restrictions they are trying to be fair by spending 2.5 days with each parent. There aren't any intercity trains on Christmas day so, if they don't have a car, your DH will have to drive them.

If they have a good reason for doing it that way and are trying to be thoughtful to both their parents, I think you have to put up with it up this year.

3 hours isn't a big deal. Is there more to this?

Bloody hell.

There's no way I'd expect either of my parents to drive me 3 hours home on Christmas day personally.

Sounds amazing! Enjoy 3 hours of peace and quiet and a good book or completely your choice of tv/music! Eat, drink and be merry!

It wouldn't occur to me that an adult couldn't be left alone for 3 hours tbh.

Can you not cope for those three hours on Christmas Day?
What if your partner was a doctor/police officer/ paramedic etc...?

3 hours of peace and quiet on Christmas Day? That sounds blissful to me! I’d be having a long bath, sipping wine, relaxing, etc. it’ll be great!

I’ll be preparing food and generally running around after people so I’d be happy to swap.🤣

Surely you did have a choice - you don't have to say no, but you could have asked if there was another more convenient time to drive her home rather than agree and then be cross. What would have happened if you had suggested an alternative? Is she going back to her mum's?

Step children have the golden key to everything on mn. Step mums must be selfless at all times. It’s the mn way.
I don’t think Yabu to want to be included in the planning. Can you join them in the car?