AIBU about his kidd xmas day?

[MyWitzEnd]

DH has two kids aged 21 and 18. This year they are coming to is supposedly for xmas. DH has just told me that his DD wants them to come on the 23rd and go home on the 25th. This would mean i would be in my own for nearly three hours xmas day as he does the round trip. I had bo choice other than to agree and now feel mean at feeling cross.

so basically the OP doesn't like the children, is miffed because her own children are not there.

Chill out a bit, you are making your own Christmas miserable. Let your DH be happy with his kids, cook or order something - local pub, Cook, whatever you prefer.

Being alone, as in no visitor whatsoever (not a 3 hour break) at Christmas sucks for most people. You spend all your life with your DH, can't Christmas be about family for a change?

So much for the time of good will... Such a shame to waste what is supposed to be a happy time.

Whatever you might think, you should be able to see that it's your DH who would be hurt if his kids didn't even acknowledge him at Christmas.

OP, I would suggest a reasonable compromise to your husband here (given that you’re not one of the Happy Bathers) that they go slightly earlier or later if that would work better for you and that their mum meets halfway, otherwise they can wait til Boxing Day morning for a lift or get there under their own steam. He might say that’s fine. So might the kids. Communication is key. And if he won’t even consider compromising then that’s a different issue to who’s where at what time on Christmas.

Goodness so they have never been interested in their dad?.. That's very unusual in a normal family set up op, do you think he feels guilty for not bonding with his dc and now wants to make up for it?

Obviously it's down the adult parent to put the foundations and work into bonding?

Sounds like he is desperately trying to make up for shit parenting to me.

Why can’t the mum drive for 45 minutes to get them, as in half way?

I wouldn't ask my mum or dad to take 3 hours out of their Christmas day to drive me somewhere else.

I'd do the considerate thing and see one on boxing Day if I couldn't get myself to where I needed to be at those ages.

The issue on the table isn’t OP stopping him from seeing them on Christmas Day, it’s that they said they were coming for Christmas this year and then elaborated that this actually meant coming until 12:30 then their father doing a three hour round trip (leaving his wife alone at home) to drop them at their mum’s for, to be honest, their actual Christmas Day.

This. Seems crazy how many can't see the inherent selfishness in that when you lay out the situation as it actually happened, including the fact that they were initially coming "for christmas" 🙄

This thread is quite sad. As a parent, it's a treat for your children to spend Christmas with you. There's enough travelling, in-laws, work commitments... all very real reasons to miss out on your kids.

It sounds like the adult children are being nice to their own father, the opposite of spoilt.

How ridiculous and petty to have set plans for Christmas? Very young children, you know you'll be up at dawn.
Teenagers? When they've be out for Christmas Eve, you know it's best to plan a diner and not a lunch and let them sleep a bit.

A grown up having a sulk because of a 3 hours (guessing more like 2...) break?

3 hours out of their Christmas day the whole point of Christmas is your children, it's not taking anything out, it's the choice between seeing them or not.

I hope none of the DH or children ever sees this thread - or the next Christmas will be depressingly quiet...

Annoying you can’t quote a quote

Dinner may be at 2 at mums, but they can get there earlier @MyWitzEnd

If they can’t drive /make their own way then they fit in with other stuff

So leave 10. Get there 1130 dh drop off. Have a wee at ex. Drive home 1130. Get home 1

Then you have afternoon and evening to cook chill etc

How are they getting to your house @MyWitzEnd ?

I’d love 3 hours to myself at Christmas time to watch what the hell I want and eat what I want!

@NoPainNoTartine

so basically the OP doesn't like the children, is miffed because her own children are not there.

Chill out a bit, you are making your own Christmas miserable. Let your DH be happy with his kids, cook or order something - local pub, Cook, whatever you prefer.

Being alone, as in no visitor whatsoever (not a 3 hour break) at Christmas sucks for most people. You spend all your life with your DH, can't Christmas be about family for a change?

So much for the time of good will... Such a shame to waste what is supposed to be a happy time.

Whatever you might think, you should be able to see that it's your DH who would be hurt if his kids didn't even acknowledge him at Christmas.

You make a lot of stuff up to try and have nasty digs. Says more about you than me :-)

Does sounds like OP doesn't like her stepkids at all, so whatever they want or do is going to be wrong to her. The husband likely has a different opinion, as do the children.

the whole point of Christmas is your children

Bit of a biased assumption. Not everyone even has children, Christmas is not inherently about offspring. I'd say Christmas is more about family than children specifically, though there is of course the argument that it's about giving, or Jesus.

I'm likely to be spending the whole of Christmas day alone, so...YABU

Is he still seeing prostitutes? Are you still with that DH even or did you get back with your ex like you were considering in early lock down?

Maybe he's not taking his children anywhere on the 25th.

MyWitzEnd

I am merely quoting what your wrote....

@aSofaNearYou

the whole point of Christmas is your children

Bit of a biased assumption. Not everyone even has children, Christmas is not inherently about offspring. I'd say Christmas is more about family than children specifically, though there is of course the argument that it's about giving, or Jesus.

yes and no

in the context of this thread, both the OP and her DH have their own children. They are what you call "family".

I didn't mean the same would apply to everybody of course.

@ShowOfHands

Is he still seeing prostitutes? Are you still with that DH even or did you get back with your ex like you were considering in early lock down?

Maybe he's not taking his children anywhere on the 25th.

what's that now?!?

The op keeps drip feeding and I wanted to know the history so I searched. Three hours alone on Christmas day are the least of the issues if her DH is nipping off to Asda to see prostitutes*.

*other supermarkets are available
**other sex workers are available

oh dear god 😂😂

Whoah this has taken a turn

the whole point of Christmas is your children

When they are adults??

Ffs this isn’t the thread I signed up for

@ShowOfHands

The op keeps drip feeding and I wanted to know the history so I searched. Three hours alone on Christmas day are the least of the issues if her DH is nipping off to Asda to see prostitutes*.

*other supermarkets are available
**other sex workers are available

Oh. Dear.

His dd comes first I’m afraid.