To think it's a straight choice between keeping your parents and grandparents safe and "a normal Christmas". You can't have both.

[PrincessNutNuts]

If members of your household go to work/school/the gym/the pub/ the shops or anywhere indoors with other people,

And if you don't all self-isolate for 14 days before Christmas,

Then you risk giving Covid to your parents and grandparents if you mix with them indoors during those 5 days.

That's just a fact isn't it?

YANBU Yes, you will be risking unknowingly endangering your loved ones,

YABU ???

My DCs grandparents aren't the concern - the concern is them affecting me. I'm the CEV one, and my parents are still in their fifties.

I don't have any living grandparents. My parents are in their very early 70s and live with us. Mum has mobility issues. She wants to spend Christmas with my family and my sister and her husband. I don't think this is any significant increase in risk over normal life:

DSis, DH and I all work from home.
My children go to school, no cases at all in DS's school, no cases in DD's year.

DBIL teaches at DD's school and has not had to self-isolate due to exposure at all so far this term.

Schools break up on 11th so DBIL will have two full weeks at home before christmas day.

Is this really significantly higher risk than normal?

My mum is in her 40s, my grandparents their 60s. 100% healthy and not a risk as far as I'm concerned

Well, when Princess Nut Nuts starts a thread 😂😂😂

You are not wrong that it’s a risk, but it’s surely usually it’s the grandparents and parents who decide whether to take that risk. So your AIBU should be more like “AIBU that everyone should refuse to see parents and grandparents for their own good regardless of the levels of distress and resentment that will cause?”

Of course it’s not so cut and dry.
My mum works full time in the NHS. My step mum is a teacher. Both over 60. They are as much of a risk to us as we are to them.

My parents are coming to us - they are over 70 but fully aware of the risks and have taken the decision they are happy with.

Oh and both have already had Covid. My mum had no symptoms, my stepmother had a mild fever, headaches and a cough.

I am astonished this is thought to be a good idea. It’s indulgent and foolish. It’s also been done incredibly unfairly- other religious festivals have had to be celebrated differently/ no gatherings due to covid risks and those affected been told “sorry, get on with it”.

The virus won’t have a 5 day moratorium on transmission. There will be a spike in transmissions, it is risky abd we may end up with tighter restrictions in Jan/Feb. More people in hospital, more lives lost and if further restrictions due to a spike in cases then even more economic damage done. Is it really worth it?

People are going to be travelling and mixing. I think there will be a LOT of non-compliance with the 3 household limit. Not to mention that we know greatest source of transmission is in domestic environment and the longer you are in that environment the higher the risk. People will most likely not be wearing masks and distancing in their own homes/when visiting relatives. Especially not if they’ve had a few drinks and inhibitions dropped. Then we have increased travel, including people coming from high risk areas to low risk. Then that risk is transferred back to the community as people go out and about after their lovely family Christmas and pass it on to others.

On an individual level, the risk may not always be great- if no-one in the 3 households gathering are high risk, for instance. But if you spread it around your 3 households, who then go back to their normal lives- work, school etc- they can spread the virus further, thus causing a spike in cases and potentially infecting someone who is vulnerable.

My parents are my informal childcare right up until Christmas Eve anyway. It would seem a bit weird if I saw fit to have them look after my germ riddled kids for free one day but not to invite them to sit at my table and share a meal the following day.

Both my parents work, they are happy to take the risk and see us over Christmas.

if members of your household go to work/school/the gym/the pub/ the shops or anywhere indoors with other people

Hes more likely to give it to me...

Our local case rate last week was 33 cases per 100,000 and my mums area has 30. That is a pretty tiny risk and one that we’re prepared to go with. She is 70 and is in great health - we have no concerns. Other people may take a different approach.

My mum is over 70 and on her own. She is bubbled with me and my 10 year old. She is fit and healthy. She has told me she can't see the point in being able to live if she can't actually have a life. We are going to my sister's for Christmas day. The loneliness can be worse. She is making her own, educated decision regarding this. We are not having as bigger family Christmas as we usually would, but we are still getting together.

Its up to individuals whether they want to take the risk or not. Its not just one system fits all. I'll be taking Christmas dinner to my elderly in-laws who we see regularly anyway. I guess my 98 Yr old great gran is classed as very high risk, but this may well be her last Christmas and she wants to spend it with family, and thats her choice to make in my opinion, nobody else's.

It really depends in individual circumstances.

All the grandparents are working age in our family, one works in a hospital, one works in a care home, and one works in a school (the one DS1 goes to)

I'm on mat leave and DH is wfh. We go to less places than the grandparents!

No. My parents are mid 50s and are in our childcare bubble so our houses alre already linked. DH and I wfh, online shop and at most take walks outside. DS goes to nursery twice a week but my parents have his snotty, snoggy, cuddly self 2 days a week anyway so Xmas isn't going to make a difference.

YABU

Just realised MIL isn't ..she's 67 so could retire, but she likes going to work and being active.

I agree with you OP. Having a teen with Covid and seeing them struggle gives a new perspective on this.

Even if older adults want to make the choice, it's not fair to burden children or grandchildren with the responsibility/guiit should something happen. The older person may well be fine, I will not be.

It's rife at my children's school. Haven't seen my mother in her late 70s for a while. If we'd seen her this week I'd now have the extra worry that she might test positive.

Very simplistic, IMO.

Choices around risk are rarely "straight."

I don't have any parents or grandparents.

As things currently stand I'm not allowed to see or speak to a single human being face to face.

It's inhumane to force people to live in complete solitary isolation, and talking about keeping people safe doesn't help. If it was about keeping people safe then schools and shops wouldn't still be open.

Everything we do in life carries a risk. Then if we manage to avoid all of these risks at some point we will still go and die!
Life is for living.

*Of course. In life there are risks.

People need to decide what risks are worth taking. As long as no one is pushed into taking a risk they are not happy with, I don’t see a problem.*

Agree with this. OP, YABU. It's not a straight choice because the chances are that parents and grandparents will be safe AND you can have a normal Christmas. Having a lot of people round isnt guaranteed to spread covid and, even if it does" the majority will be fine.

Most elderly people are competent to make their own judgements of risk.