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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask for old washing machine back?

155 replies

msflibble · 23/11/2020 09:43

We moved into a new apartment in Feb and it only has space for a built-in washing machine. We had bought a great new one the previous spring which was unlikely to fit, so friends agreed to swap theirs with us - my husband arranged the swap, he thought the machines had similar specs but they don't really. Ours is worth at least a couple hundred more (we have only now just finished paying off the financing for it), it's virtually silent so you can do night washes, it has a bigger drum and is much easier to use - for example it has loads of presets but you can also just program your own presets. This one only has a few really limited presets and you can't program your own. It also only has 4 heat settings. The buttons are really hard and awkward to press and for example there's no option to do a short very hot wash, which is a setting I often need to get mould smells out of washing that didn't dry quickly enough after a previous wash (often a problem in winter).

I miss my old machine! And I'm gutted that we shelled out for a lovely one, carefully chosen by me, only to end up with a fairly shit one I don't like. I have worked out that it may be possible to get the machine to fit under the space if we remove the legs; if not, I'd like to sell it and get something instead that suits our needs better.

I messaged our friend to ask if we might swap back, and she hasn't replied. I'm worried she is offended as they agreed to swap as a favour to help us. Was it an unreasonable request?

OP posts:

toomuchpeppapig · 23/11/2020 09:48

I think you should check if anyone makes an integrated washing machine that does everything you want it to before you start creating a fuss tbh... maybe the one you have now is the best available? Asking your friend to swap back is serious cf territory at this point.

PlanDeRaccordement · 23/11/2020 09:49

I wouldn’t remove legs from washing machine as they are needed to keep the floor from being scratched during spin cycle and also used to level the machine. I think too that because it’s been almost a year since you swapped, it would be unreasonable to ask to swap back.

GoldfishParade · 23/11/2020 09:50

So your husband fucked up and now you want to inconvenience your friend by going through the hassle of swapping again? No.

YABU.

Why would it even occur to you to sap machines? It's such a daft idea. Why wouldnt you have just sold yours and used the money to go towards a new one? The mind boggles!

Lockheart · 23/11/2020 09:51

Yes, I think you're being cheeky and messing them around. It's a shame you don't like this one as much but that's not their fault.

Knittedfairies · 23/11/2020 09:52

Yes, that is an unreasonable request.

housemdwaswrong · 23/11/2020 09:55

I hate things like this. Yabu. You swapped, all agreed, it belongs to your friend now, nothing to do with you, you don't have any sort of lingering rights over it. Put it down to experience and move on.

Original poster

msflibble · 23/11/2020 09:58

Why would it even occur to you to sap machines? It's such a daft idea. Why wouldnt you have just sold yours and used the money to go towards a new one? The mind boggles!

It was a silly idea. We panicked I guess. Didn't want to be without a machine on top of being without a kitchen or beds too. We moved into a completely empty place and had to build our own kitchen from scratch, which took 2 weeks.. I couldn't face also having to run to a launderette every 2 days as well, while we waited for a decent buyer for the machine.

OP posts:

rsababe · 23/11/2020 10:03

It's not your friend's fault that you moved into an apartment where your washing machine didn't fit. You should have checked the specifications of her machine yourself if there were particular things you wanted on it unless you told your husband to make sure it had those features. Eithe way you cannot ask for it back without being a CF.

Brighterthansunflowers · 23/11/2020 10:03

YABVU

You and DH wanted to swap, your friends were doing you a favour agreeing

You can’t go back on it now! You need to disregard your previous washing machine and either live with your current one or sell it and use the money towards a better one.

Happygogoat · 23/11/2020 10:06

Afraid you just need to chalk this up to a panicked decision and your DH being hasty. I think it's unreasonable to swap back, this wasn't a temporary loan presumably it was agreed as a proper swap and it's been a year!

Original poster

msflibble · 23/11/2020 10:14

It hasn't been a year really - we did the swap in March. I wanted to swap back straight away but didn't have the guts to make a fuss.

Ours new is now 700€. Theirs is 350€. I've checked. If we sold it now, used, it wouldn't fetch more than 150€. We paid 770€ over 18 months for our old one. We don't have a lot of money, we can never afford holidays etc, and we hardly ever shell out on things but we have had so many bad experiences with washing machines so we decided to spend more so we wouldn't later have to replace it. Now we're back in the same old situation though, through a stupid panicked decision. I could cry.

OP posts:

Scbchl · 23/11/2020 10:14

Yabu you cant swap something with someone to benefit yourself then decided almost a year later you dont want it and want the original back. You should of checked you were happy with all the presents etc before swapping so that is your error.

Scbchl · 23/11/2020 10:16

But with all due respect it doesnt matter what they now cost. If that was of concern to you then you should of checked then not now when the swap is done. It didnt matter at the time because actually they were helping you out to do YOU a favour.

KarmaStar · 23/11/2020 10:17

Hi op,you made a mistake,you know that,you can't ask your friend to pay for your mistake.
Contact them and say sorry,you were having a bad moment and to forget you asked.
Hopefully she will accept that.
Don't remove anything from your washing machine.
Your options are to use it or sell it and but one that fits an you like.
An expensive mistake but not the end of the world.

Lilliarna · 23/11/2020 10:18

Why on earth would you swap it then!

Asking for it back would be CF territory though.

Atalune · 23/11/2020 10:18

Was it ever said that you’d be swapping back? If that was not mentioned then I think there is nothing you can do.

earthyfire · 23/11/2020 10:18

You can't ask for it back don't be silly. 🙄

fairislecable · 23/11/2020 10:20

You did the swap in March!!

Forget about it and move on, you made a poor decision in March and lost a good washing machine, don’t make another poor decision and lose a friend.

Epitome of CF.

Wherehavetheteletubbiesgone · 23/11/2020 10:22

What they cost is irrelevant. You did a deal to swap them. YABU to ask for it to be swapped back. BTW I did a kitchen fit out myself whilst working that took 3 weeks including new plumbing and managed fine to visit the laundrette in the next town 3 miles away.

Original poster

msflibble · 23/11/2020 10:22

I don't get why it's so unreasonable - if we arrange the swap and take care of all transportation then why not? It'll take an hour max then they will have the washing machine they bought and had no apparent desire to replace. What actually makes it so bad?

OP posts:

Dessicator · 23/11/2020 10:24

I dont understand why the washing machine wouldn't fit. We replaced an integrated one with a free standing one. We cut the kick board and slid it in.

LaurieSchafferIsAllBitterNow · 23/11/2020 10:25

Gawd, accept your mistake and move on.

Wondering why you could not fit the machine in somewhere though if you had to build your own kitchen from scratch? For the sake of a couple of weeks laundrette costs you'd still have your own machine.

Original poster

msflibble · 23/11/2020 10:25

BTW I did a kitchen fit out myself whilst working that took 3 weeks including new plumbing and managed fine to visit the laundrette in the next town 3 miles away.

We don't have a car. To get to the launderette 3 times a week on a bike or bus and sit there waiting for laundry to wash and dry would have taken at least 10 hours out of my week every time.

OP posts:

DryRoastPeanut · 23/11/2020 10:28

You asked if you were being unreasonable. Everyone has told you that you are being both unreasonable and a cf.

They did you a favour, you can’t expect them to now give up their washing machine again.

Just accept that you screwed up.

FudgeDrudge · 23/11/2020 10:28

Are you nuts? They had a washing machine, they were fine with it. You needed a favour, and to help you out they swapped theirs for yours. Now, of course, they will be used to that one and happy with it, and you want them to take back the one that isn't good enough for you?

They did you a favour. You didn't bother your arse to work out whether it was a good swap for you. You don't get to now swap back since you've realised yours is better. It is, and now its their washing machine. Why should they be as daft as you were and give it away?

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