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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask for old washing machine back?

155 replies

msflibble · 23/11/2020 09:43

We moved into a new apartment in Feb and it only has space for a built-in washing machine. We had bought a great new one the previous spring which was unlikely to fit, so friends agreed to swap theirs with us - my husband arranged the swap, he thought the machines had similar specs but they don't really. Ours is worth at least a couple hundred more (we have only now just finished paying off the financing for it), it's virtually silent so you can do night washes, it has a bigger drum and is much easier to use - for example it has loads of presets but you can also just program your own presets. This one only has a few really limited presets and you can't program your own. It also only has 4 heat settings. The buttons are really hard and awkward to press and for example there's no option to do a short very hot wash, which is a setting I often need to get mould smells out of washing that didn't dry quickly enough after a previous wash (often a problem in winter).

I miss my old machine! And I'm gutted that we shelled out for a lovely one, carefully chosen by me, only to end up with a fairly shit one I don't like. I have worked out that it may be possible to get the machine to fit under the space if we remove the legs; if not, I'd like to sell it and get something instead that suits our needs better.

I messaged our friend to ask if we might swap back, and she hasn't replied. I'm worried she is offended as they agreed to swap as a favour to help us. Was it an unreasonable request?

OP posts:
Joswis · 23/11/2020 10:29

They did it as a favour to you. It's rude to ask to swap back now. You're risking losing a friend.

Thesearmsofmine · 23/11/2020 10:31

The machine isn’t yours anymore, you gave it to someone else presumably it wasn’t agreed as a temporary thing so it no longer belongs to you.

LittleMissLockdown · 23/11/2020 10:32

They swapped machines as a kind favour to you. The swap was clear, it wasn't some random short term washing machine storage agreement.

This happened 8 months ago, I can't believe you would think it appropriate to ask for it back. 8 days maybe but 8 months is just bizarre.

rsababe · 23/11/2020 10:37

@msflibble

I don't get why it's so unreasonable - if we arrange the swap and take care of all transportation then why not? It'll take an hour max then they will have the washing machine they bought and had no apparent desire to replace. What actually makes it so bad?
Because you didn't agree a temporary swap, you agreed a permanent swap where they got your machine and you got their old one because it suited you to do the swap.

Now all of a sudden you have decided that you want your machine back because you/your husband didn't do your research properly and didn't check the specifications of their machine. They would have been inconvenienced by the swap in the first place and now you want to inconvenience them again. You are wanting your old machine back when it's not even suitable for where you are living.

Have you had nothing else to worry about since March? Lucky you!

Beautiful3 · 23/11/2020 10:37

If I were your friend I'd be so annoyed at you. We swapped, now you're asking for it back?! I'd be worried at what kind of state my washing machine is in, for you to want to swap back!!! Leave the machine at your friends and look for another machine that fits!

Mightysmoosh · 23/11/2020 10:39

You agreed to the swap so you are being massively unreasonable asking for it back. Just accept you made a mistake and buy a new one.

satnighttakeaway · 23/11/2020 10:40

Too late now but strange thing to do in the first place imo. I don't know how much your machine would be in ££ but I'm assuming not much less than the Euro number so for me that would be a really top of the range machine and no way would I have even considered a swap. Your friends must have been delighted at your DH's foolishness and I suspect not in any hurry to switch back

FudgeDrudge · 23/11/2020 10:40

If I was the friend I would tell you to come and get your damn machine and then not bother to come back again.
Seriously cheeky fucker.

Star81 · 23/11/2020 10:42

You are being so unreasonable.

It’s like swapping anything in life, if you choose to do it you should only do it if your 100% sure. I’ve been teaching my 9 year old this with Lego cards recently and he gets it. Don’t swap what you may regret.

Atalune · 23/11/2020 10:42

It’s crucial to know if this was a temp or permanent swap from the get go?

You’ve lost out. I expect your friend is counting her lucky stars she’s lucked out!

TheQueef · 23/11/2020 10:43

Integrated machines are normally different dimensions so if you need one you need it.
A standard 60x60cm won't fit.

Snoooozzze · 23/11/2020 10:44

I'm on the fence a little to be honest.

I agree that it's a bit CF to now ask for the washing machine back especially 8 months later and also considering that Your kitchen could have been planned to accommodate the WM...

However I definitely think your friend saw you coming! They've 100% seen that they're getting a better end of the bargain with a swanky, almost new machine and getting rid of their mid range one in the bargain with free delivery and eternal gratitude for their amazing offer to help... I'd be tempted to ask for it back myself to be honest but I really wouldn't.

I think you're going to have to suck it up and accept your mistake/hasty oversight and move on.

ScrapThatThen · 23/11/2020 10:46

Chalk it up to experience and apologise.

WhoUsedMyName · 23/11/2020 10:48

I'm shocked that you have even asked your friend for it backHmm I'm actually cringing no wonder they haven't replied Blush
You made a mistake and that's just tough now they did you a favour and they gained from it you need to suck it up.

Felifox · 23/11/2020 10:48

If you were happy to do a straight swop you can't reasonably ask for it back. Yes I expect you're kicking yourself in being hasty but I think you have to suck it up

PawsAndPhytoncides · 23/11/2020 10:53

Another one saying I wouldn't ask for a swap back again.

It was a permanent swap. It's done. That's the end of it. It doesn't really matter what they both cost to buy, as you agreed to pay for one machine with the other.

msflibble · 23/11/2020 10:55

I don't think they had any ulterior motives, they didn't know it was a much better machine. We are really close with this couple and we help each other out a lot with all sorts of things. We are also really honest with each other about things that piss us off - we shared a workspace with them for years so we've had to be. Usually. I should have been honest from the get-go on this, that was my mistake. Probably I will get a bollocking from her and then she'll either agree or decline to exchange, and we'll move on.

Accepting I'm being a bit of a CF, how about we offer them 100€ plus a grovelling apology to exchange them? We just can't afford to buy a new one, we're broke. Would a cash offering that we can afford maybe take the edge off things a bit?

OP posts:
windmill26 · 23/11/2020 10:57

The swap was a mistake,learn from it and move on. As you have already asked for it back don't be surprise if your friendship will be strained because of this.

Elfieishere · 23/11/2020 10:59

No. It’s been nearly a year.. you cant just swap back now it doesn’t suit you.

Suck it up, don’t embarrass yourself. They did you a favour in the first place.

WeAllHaveWings · 23/11/2020 11:00

You can't take someones machine, use it for 9 months then text out of the blue and say you've changed your mind and ask for yours back.

Not surprised she hasn't replied, YABVVVVU and have put her in a really awkward and uncomfortable position.

msflibble · 23/11/2020 11:01

Have you had nothing else to worry about since March? Lucky you!

Don't be ridiculous. I'm just trying to focus on one of the few problems I might be able to fix, that's all.

OP posts:
iamtheoneandonlyyy · 23/11/2020 11:02

No offence meant but I wouldn't reply either.

FudgeDrudge · 23/11/2020 11:02

You can't ask for your machine back, because its not yours. It's theirs.

Can't get over the cheek of it!

LittleMissLockdown · 23/11/2020 11:03

@iamtheoneandonlyyy

No offence meant but I wouldn't reply either.
Me either, I wouldn't even begin to know how to start forming a semi polite reply to someone asking what the OP is asking without implying they were a CF.
elenacampana · 23/11/2020 11:04

I think you should accept the response here that you shouldn’t be asking for it back and move on even if you can’t see why. You’re being unreasonable and quite frankly, a little OTT about a washing machine.