to ask for old washing machine back?

[msflibble]

We moved into a new apartment in Feb and it only has space for a built-in washing machine. We had bought a great new one the previous spring which was unlikely to fit, so friends agreed to swap theirs with us - my husband arranged the swap, he thought the machines had similar specs but they don't really. Ours is worth at least a couple hundred more (we have only now just finished paying off the financing for it), it's virtually silent so you can do night washes, it has a bigger drum and is much easier to use - for example it has loads of presets but you can also just program your own presets. This one only has a few really limited presets and you can't program your own. It also only has 4 heat settings. The buttons are really hard and awkward to press and for example there's no option to do a short very hot wash, which is a setting I often need to get mould smells out of washing that didn't dry quickly enough after a previous wash (often a problem in winter).

I miss my old machine! And I'm gutted that we shelled out for a lovely one, carefully chosen by me, only to end up with a fairly shit one I don't like. I have worked out that it may be possible to get the machine to fit under the space if we remove the legs; if not, I'd like to sell it and get something instead that suits our needs better.

I messaged our friend to ask if we might swap back, and she hasn't replied. I'm worried she is offended as they agreed to swap as a favour to help us. Was it an unreasonable request?

I'm far more interested about the lesson the OP will learn about taking the feet off to make it fit tbh.

And goodness, I'm burning with shame on your behalf thinking about getting it back then selling it on 😳😳😳😳😳

@Vermeil this one has a 5 year warranty with 3 years left, the one we bought had a 2 year one. So it's got that going for it. The other machine's warranty will run out in the spring. The price difference wasn't that great when we both bought, just 150€ or so, so we thought the specs would be very similar. Was a silly assumption, absolutely. That time was so busy and stressful and I think I would have done anything for an easy life. We had to move house 3 times in a year. Was just optimistic that it would all work out fine. I guess we could just try to sell it. There have just been so many disasters for us the last few years.. Mostly things I can't control. The temptation to try to undo one of the more minor disasters was just too great.

I'd be annoyed at being messed about and I'd also be suspicious that you'd damaged it and that's why you wanted to swap back. You really should have thought about it better beforehand. Now you've put them in a really crappy position of either having to mess about again and swap a washer out again which you may have damaged or my het damaged in transit or awkwardly say "no you cant have your washer back"

For those asking - we couldn't put it in the kitchen because there was no inlet valve or extra space. Everything was already planned, there was nowhere else to put it

So you change the plans. Kitchen planners work to make the kitchen work for you, what you should have done was said 'we've borrowed money to buy this washing machine and we need you to make the plans work around it'

OP so that’s a no she hasn’t replied back. Your poor friend I really feel for her .

@RealBecca I did mention missing the machine to them last time we visited them a few weeks back. So it probably didn't come entirely out of the blue. They did say it was a pretty big upgrade from their machine.

It's the principle . It's rude to give it swap stuff then demand it back. The money isn't a factor because 2nd hand value will be peanuts & on Facebook marketplace etc no one is buying or selling much due to Covid related collection & delivery issues. Getting so attached to it is a bit unusual. A washing machine is a washing machine. Mines quick wash is 60mins which is a joke after a years of a Hotpoint 30min, but I'm renting, so hey ho: I go with what I've got..

@rsababe everything for the kitchen was already built! you can't change the plans, we didn't have a couple of grand to get a plumber in to hack up the walls and put a new inlet valve in when there's a perfectly good one in the bathroom. If there had been another way around it we would have done it. This is Germany, the washing machine never goes in the kitchen, it's always the bathroom.

@peppafrig
Oh, please don't lie. You don't give a shit about my friend. You just want to feel superior.

@msflibble no no OP you don’t give a shit about your friend or you wouldn’t have put her in this awkward position.

😂

Christ alive. Why do people post these dilemmas if they find it so intensely infuriating to hear that they’re being unreasonable?

Of course I give a shit about my friend. You have no idea of how long we have been friends or how much we have helped each other out over the years. Or about awkward positions they have put us in, sometimes, and how we've talked it out and made up and moved on.

@shortsilence
I don't much mind being called unreasonable. Lots of people have said in a polite matter-of-fact way why they think I'm wrong and that's fine! It's the people who say insulting nasty things that are upsetting. If I'm on AIBU and I think someone is BU I say so without calling them stupid or insane. It's possible. You can tell someone you disagree with them without personally attacking them or telling them they're an awful human who doesn't deserve friends.

You can tell someone you disagree with them without personally attacking them or telling them they're an awful human who doesn't deserve friends.

Yes, you can, and most people have done exactly that, but rather than take it on board you’re pulling the focus onto the odd rude person. Why would that be?

Honestly — maybe just “take a telling”, as the saying goes. The consensus is that YABU so if you won’t hear it, the issue is with you really, not random online strangers of whose manners you disapprove

It is their machine and has been for nearly a year.....at your request....due to your mistake. They did you a favour and in your opinion benefited (however it would have been a pain doing the original swap especially if as you say they were happy with their machine so we’re helping you out!!!) yes they hit a higher spec but only because you requested to swap because you had messed up!

Asking to swap back nearly a year on was cheeky and you know it.

You’re relying on her saying yes and when questioned bring up the fact that as a friend she’s made you uncomfortable/put you in situations in the past.

You sound entitled and self centred and I think people are judging so harshly as you fail to see the issue.

your only defence to people picking up on your lack of insight is that your friend liked their old machine so have no reason not to want it back..............is this even a real post or has this just been posted for reactions as surely you can’t be that blind to what you’ve proposed and your defence for doing so???

I did take it on board. I sent a message to my friend already, apologising for making her feel awkward and telling her it's fine if they don't want to swap. I mentioned it upthread. Doesn't seem to be enough for some people who apparently want me to flagellate myself into oblivion for basically making a pretty minor misstep with someone they don't even know or have any personal investment in.

[quote msflibble]@rsababe everything for the kitchen was already built! you can't change the plans, we didn't have a couple of grand to get a plumber in to hack up the walls and put a new inlet valve in when there's a perfectly good one in the bathroom. If there had been another way around it we would have done it. This is Germany, the washing machine never goes in the kitchen, it's always the bathroom.[/quote]
So the kitchen has nothing to do with it then ?!

@msflibble

I did take it on board. I sent a message to my friend already, apologising for making her feel awkward and telling her it's fine if they don't want to swap. I mentioned it upthread. Doesn't seem to be enough for some people who apparently want me to flagellate myself into oblivion for basically making a pretty minor misstep with someone they don't even know or have any personal investment in.

Why don't you step away from this one, it just seems to be causing your much angst.

The simple and obvious question is: why on earth would she swap her better machine for your worse one?

(You had good reason to do so in March. It suited you for the reasons you've explained. She has no reason to do it.)

Wow. CF alert! YABU and ridiculous OP!

Seems like you gave away your washing machine AND lost your friendship 🤔...
This is beyond cheeky op. Asking for a washing machine back maybe in the first 7 days would have been ok. But 8 months later? No. You cant do that. Or actually - youve already tried 😅. I don't care how much money you spent on it. And how much it was worth moe more then her.

You cant swap and then 8 month later expect to just ask for it back. No wonder you are getting roasted here

apologising for making her feel awkward and telling her it's fine if they don't want to swap.

You should have stopped at the non-apology and told her to forget the text instead of still leaving her in the awkward position of having to decide whether she gives back what you obviously still see as your washing machine.

It isn't your machine it stopped being your machine 9 months ago. Essentially you are asking her to give you her machine. 🤦‍♀️

Yadbu