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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for old washing machine back?

155 replies

msflibble · 23/11/2020 09:43

We moved into a new apartment in Feb and it only has space for a built-in washing machine. We had bought a great new one the previous spring which was unlikely to fit, so friends agreed to swap theirs with us - my husband arranged the swap, he thought the machines had similar specs but they don't really. Ours is worth at least a couple hundred more (we have only now just finished paying off the financing for it), it's virtually silent so you can do night washes, it has a bigger drum and is much easier to use - for example it has loads of presets but you can also just program your own presets. This one only has a few really limited presets and you can't program your own. It also only has 4 heat settings. The buttons are really hard and awkward to press and for example there's no option to do a short very hot wash, which is a setting I often need to get mould smells out of washing that didn't dry quickly enough after a previous wash (often a problem in winter).

I miss my old machine! And I'm gutted that we shelled out for a lovely one, carefully chosen by me, only to end up with a fairly shit one I don't like. I have worked out that it may be possible to get the machine to fit under the space if we remove the legs; if not, I'd like to sell it and get something instead that suits our needs better.

I messaged our friend to ask if we might swap back, and she hasn't replied. I'm worried she is offended as they agreed to swap as a favour to help us. Was it an unreasonable request?

OP posts:
Dessicator · 23/11/2020 11:44

Integrated machines are normally different dimensions so if you need one you need it.
A standard 60x60cm won't fit.

Integrated and freestanding are the same width and fit under a standard 60cm space. You just need to cut the kickback.

Atalune · 23/11/2020 11:45

Well done on the follow up text

vanillandhoney · 23/11/2020 11:45

Christ.

Just leave it. You agreed to swap and now you've realised you've made a mistake. Just suck it up or you're going to lose a friendship as well as a washing machine.

gottakeeponmovin · 23/11/2020 11:45

Yeah YABVU

Especially as you didn't ask to swap back straight away

You shouldn't have asked the question tbh I would think you were a CF

LittleMissLockdown · 23/11/2020 11:45

@FudgeDrudge

You realise what you are saying is this: Hey you know that washing machine that you bought and were happy enough with, and gave to us to help us out? Well its not good enough for us, we can't cope with sucha crappy machine. It's good enough for you though, so here, have it back.
Exactly. They know nothing has changed in the OPs situation e.g they have redone the kitchen so the machine will now fit. So they will know that the only reason the OP wants it back is because she thinks their machine is inferior and not good enough for her to use.
JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 23/11/2020 11:49

I don't get why it's so unreasonable
Yes you do, otherwise you wouldn’t be thinking “my friend is offended by my cheeky fucker actions” you’d be thinking “hope Sandra is ok, she’s not replied”. You’ve then badgered her again after not getting the hint. She probably swapped machines to get you to shut the fuck up about it.
You were stupid enough to swap without checking the spec difference and price difference (which seems like the main sticking point for you). I imagine your next option is to ask for the money difference Hmm

Omeara · 23/11/2020 11:50

Sell the one you’ve got, add the €100 you were going to offer your friend to whatever you get for it and buy a second hand one.

I can’t believe you had the cheek to ask.

Wellsbells · 23/11/2020 11:50

Yes you would be very unreasonable to ask to swap again, it would be a massive pain in the arse for your friend and you just have to live with your mistake IMO

caringcarer · 23/11/2020 11:58

They swapped to suit you and it belongs to them now. Buy yourself a new one that will fit in space you have.

DontCryForMeNextdoorNeighbour · 23/11/2020 12:05

YABVVVU
Your friend tried to help you out, you messed up by not checking what type of washing machine they were swapping with you, so no, they should not be put in the position of being asked to swap back with you. Asking them is really CF behaviour, and bad friend behaviour.

Why didn't you check the spec of their machine before swapping? You sound extremely particular about washing machines, noise levels, types of cycles available etc, so surely you should have checked. In any event, it's your mistake, so leave your friends alone.

EndlessWaffle · 23/11/2020 12:07

It's only reasonable to swap back if you do all the hard work, don't put them to any extra expense, and make sure you don't give their old machine back to them smelling of mildew! If she is a very good friend she might be willing to consider it, but you've had unanimous responses here so you have the answer to your question

Whaleandsnail6 · 23/11/2020 12:12

Massively unreasonable, you should have just let it go.

You're also potentially creating a very awkward situation whereby if you do swap machines again and then one of them developeds a fault within the first few days or weeks, who is responsible for the repairs? The couple who have just had the machine back or the ones who have used it for the past 8 months?

I understand your frustration but you should have done your research before doing the swap,its a lesson learnt.

Catsup · 23/11/2020 12:14

So you want to go to all the hassle of swapping with the chance it still doesn't fit? Will you then ask your friend to swap back again? 🤨

NoMoreKitKats · 23/11/2020 12:16

I'm in the minority with my response, but think you're NBU to ask - as you say, you're being honest, and going into this with no expectations. As long as you've left it open for them to say no, and you'll genuinely be fine with this if they do, I think you've done well. In any case, you can thank them (and I'm sure you have done) for the favour. Get your nice mates a bunch of flowers for being accommodating, and I'm sure this will blow over whichever way it goes. Good luck!

NoMoreKitKats · 23/11/2020 12:17

(oh, and yes, you'd have to make it clear you'd do ALL the legwork of the swap, were it to happen)

user1493494961 · 23/11/2020 12:20

If you had to build a new kitchen, why did you have to swap machines?

MLMsuperfan · 23/11/2020 12:20

My stomach would drop if I received a text like that.

I think I would agree to swap but that would be the end of the friendship.

ittakes2 · 23/11/2020 12:21

I am very particular about washing machines so I feel your pain. A smaller drum means more cycles to wash towels and stuff. I also like my programme options! But I think you can’t really swap back. Maybe buy a secondhand one?
Also, buy some washing machine cleaner to get rid of the smells - that’s bacteria and it needs dealing with!

Shoxfordian · 23/11/2020 12:27

But if you swapped because it didn't fit then it still won't fit? Doesn't really make sense

Derelictwreck · 23/11/2020 12:27

I don't think you've done anything wrong at all! But I wonder what the point is in getting it back if you'd sell if for so little?

LoveMyKidsAndCats · 23/11/2020 12:30

If it was my actual mate I wouldn't mind but if it was just someone I knew and said hello to occasionally I'd think it was rude.

Peppafrig · 23/11/2020 12:38

I would question my entire friendship if I received this text. It’s very oh well yours for perfect for me while it suited me but now it’s not good enough. She has had it for 9 months it’s hers now . It’s not yours anymore .

RedToothBrush · 23/11/2020 12:40

@msflibble

I don't think they had any ulterior motives, they didn't know it was a much better machine. We are really close with this couple and we help each other out a lot with all sorts of things. We are also really honest with each other about things that piss us off - we shared a workspace with them for years so we've had to be. Usually. I should have been honest from the get-go on this, that was my mistake. Probably I will get a bollocking from her and then she'll either agree or decline to exchange, and we'll move on.

Accepting I'm being a bit of a CF, how about we offer them 100€ plus a grovelling apology to exchange them? We just can't afford to buy a new one, we're broke. Would a cash offering that we can afford maybe take the edge off things a bit?

Still being a CF.

Its not your machine anymore. You are acting as if it is.

yearinyearout · 23/11/2020 12:40

To be honest it's a bit late now, you've been swapped for nine months and for all she knows your current machine could be playing up.

reginaphalangeeee · 23/11/2020 12:41

If you had asked straight away to swap back then fair enough, but to ask after 8 months is completely ridiculous. Almost worrying you can’t even see how unreasonable you are. For all they know you could have broken the washing machine you have just now and now want your old one back. You really need to have some consideration here for the friends you gave this washing machine to 8 months ago.