Settle a disagreement: whose food was this?

[BunnyMacDougal]

Tonight we ordered a takeaway online which DH collected.

His meal came with a side of kimchi. Mine didn’t but I wanted kimchi so added it on as an extra.

DH collected the food and, when we unpacked the bag, there was only one kimchi. It was a fairly small single-serving tub.

Lighthearted and we came to a very reasonable agreement where we shared it but DH is of the opinion that as kimchi came with his meal, the tub we received was for him and therefore he did me a favour by sharing it.

I feel that he should have checked the bag and therefore any error is on him, and I’m the best wife in the world because I shared my kimchi with him.

YABU = kimchi was rightfully DH’s.
YANBU = kimchi was rightfully mine.

[Ginandplatonic]

I love the way the tone of the OP was clearly lighthearted, plus the OP said it was lighthearted right there in the post, and said quite clearly that they shared the kimchi and there was no argument, yet a significant minority of posters are still taking her to task for her condiment conflict.

[Cocomarine]

😭

[Cocomarine]

Oh - quoting you didn’t show! 😭 was to your reply that you’re in Japan!! 🤣

[OliveHenry]

I bought a pouch of Kimchi once, and after a few days in the fridge (and 2 months before the use by date) it looked like the attached photo.

I was scared of opening it and getting showered in fermented cabbage, but I took the plunge and tried it. And it was bloody gorgeous!

Must look out for some more

[BunnyMacDougal]

@Ginandplatonic

I love the way the tone of the OP was clearly lighthearted, plus the OP said it was lighthearted right there in the post, and said quite clearly that they shared the kimchi and there was no argument, yet a significant minority of posters are still taking her to task for her condiment conflict.

I know!

Three posters have accused me of ordering such a huge amount of food that I couldn’t possible even think of having some cabbage. What I ordered was one menu item, a single main course.

Another has insinuated that my husband “let” me share so that he could expert some form of coercive control.

The amount of baggage some mumsnetters must carry around with them is quite something to behold at times.

Literally opened the (unstapled) bag, said “oh, there’s only one kimchi in here, did you check the bag or did it roll out in the car?”. DH said “I didn’t check the bag so they must have forgotten yours. It’s no problem though, I don’t mind giving you half of mine”.

[june2007]

YABU you both ordered it you both shared it, one was missing who cares? We always share a takeaway.

[HannaYeah]

It was his kimchi but also his error, therefore he forfeited it to you and thus you sharing was generous and worthy of immense praise.

[Jenny70]

I think it was his kimchi and they forgot the extra (anything out of the norm is more likely forgotten).

BUT YANBU as the poll clearly stated that he forgot to check the packaging, thus forgoing his right to kimchi. If only I had kimchi in my order, he could have had mine.

[SarahAndQuack]

You share it, while both of you politely urge the other to dig in. Then you bitch about the crappy ordering mistake, and bond over it. Then you resolve that, next time, you will double-order on the kimchi because it's delicious/will never darken their door again [delete as appropriate depending on quality of food/availability of other options].

[DominicCummingsBlog]

Jeez some of the replies on here are odd Well done for telling them to FO & trying to shame you for the amount of food you ordered OP!

I think what has happened is that they've given you two portions of kimchi in the one container. Unless you've ordered the same dishes from there previously and know the exact portion size for kimchi?

[AlwaysLatte]

There was one Kimchi so it was 50/50. He's being silly - who knows which one was left out.

[youvegottenminuteslynn]

Where do you live that you are rural, have to drive 20 mins to get a takeaway, yet you can still get delicious sounding Japanese / Korean food?

OP: "Japan"

[giantangryrooster]

Nah, if you actually paid for the extra kimchi, it's clearly yours.

On the other hand, if it was really small it might be for your dh's dish and a bigger one should have been there as your side order.

But you are clearly in the right since your dh collected it and didn't check. A life lesson to learn and would have been even more educational, if you had eaten the kimchi sloowly in front of him. He would never forget to check your orders again 🤣.

[LittleRa]

Have you ordered from there before and know the kimchi size? Because is it possible that the tub they sent contained what they deemed to be two portions of kimchi (side portions), and they put them together in the same tub rather than wasting a lot of packaging with two separate smaller tubs?

[AldiAisleofCrap]

Why are you pretending to be in Japan?

[BunnyMacDougal]

@LittleRa

Have you ordered from there before and know the kimchi size? Because is it possible that the tub they sent contained what they deemed to be two portions of kimchi (side portions), and they put them together in the same tub rather than wasting a lot of packaging with two separate smaller tubs?

We’ve ordered from there many times and this was definitely one small portion.

[BunnyMacDougal]

@AldiAisleofCrap

Why are you pretending to be in Japan?

Because I like telling you to fuck off from afar.

[Ginandplatonic]

@BunnyMacDougal yes the controlling husband one was my personal fave. Perhaps you should LTB? Then there will be no argument over the kimchi. On the other hand also no one to drive the 20 mins to pick it up. It’s a dilemma...

[AldiAisleofCrap]

or just forget to check the time differences before posting, oh and the currency!

[Ilovetea33]

What about the financial side though? Will they take your word for it that there was only one kimchi and reimburse you next time you're there? Or will you be out of pocket?

[Nevergoingbackthere]

There was nothing food shaming about my comment... I would have said the same if your DH's meal had sounded bigger. I think you're the one who's projecting. For someone claiming to be lighthearted you have told a lot of posters to fuck off for disagreeing with you. You said yourself that the kimchi was an extra for you and part of DH's meal. If you had said from he start that his was much bigger my answer would have been different. I won't tell you to fuck off as I'm far too polite for that but you can stuff your (DH's) kimchi up your okonomiyaki.

[HollyandIvyandallthingsYule]

stuff your (DH's) kimchi up your okonomiyaki.

I love MN!

Also I really want Korean Fried Chicken now.

[Elsielouise13]

I think we could make this into a classic. It has every last bit of the utter madness of MN in it. Greed, accusations, shaming, guilt...

Love it.

Have you thought that you should LTB because this was a deliberate plan so that later today he could use this against you in a carefully thought out ploy to persuade you to give him half your Sunday lunch roasties?

[HollyandIvyandallthingsYule]

I think OP should LTB because he’s obviously having an affair. He obviously met up with OW for a 5-min tryst and shared one packet of kimchi with her as a sign of his lust and whatever else it is you’ve got when you have an affair, then LIED to OP about it!

[BunnyMacDougal]

Or what if I’m a troll and set up this sob story so you’d all PM me with offers of kimchi or to PayPal me money for kimchi?

I might need a MN warning on this thread.