To not invite my DDs friends.

[Julz1622]

I have booked a socially distanced visit from Santa and Anna and Elsa on Christmas Eve for my daughter (8) and the baby (10 months) I live in a block of flats, and I was telling one of the mum's of one of daughter's friends about it. She said oh let me know what time they are coming and I'll send 'name' across. She has also told a few of the other mums on the block. Now I know some people will think I am being selfish, but I've paid £50 for them to come visit my daughter, I don't want all the kids congregating and ruining it for my daughters.

@flaviaritt

And if I had booked it for my own children, provided there was going to be social distancing I would tell everyone on the street and ask them to come. And I wouldn’t expect money for it.

So when Santa,Elsa and Anna give Op's kids treat bags and none of the other children how is that going to go over? Not well. The 50 quid fee includes the treat bags. So the kids are going to be asking why didn't they get treats too

What would happen if the police happened to turn up and fine OP if they think it is a large gathering. Will the neighbours all chip in on a fine then?

Such and suchs mummy paid for that.

Which would be fine - and very much what I would say for a bouncy castle or a party - but it’s Father Christmas. Do you not think mentioning his day rate would somewhat spoil the magic?

@flaviaritt

Ohtherewearethen

But the assumption here is that I wouldn’t discuss this with the event supplier. The simple reality is I wouldn’t do this under the circumstances described. I would cancel the event if they said no (and still pay for it) because I refuse to be responsible for sobbing little kids at Christmas asking why they can’t see Father Christmas. Because I’m not a Scrooge.

To clarify &

You would cancel something you organised for your own child if it wasn't possible for every child in the street to participate? So you would deprive your own child so that other children didn't miss out on something that your child is now missing out on?

Jesus Christ.

So when Santa,Elsa and Anna give Op's kids treat bags and none of the other children how is that going to go over? Not well.

That’s true, but as I said above that can be done more discreetly.

But again, the bottom line for me is that if I couldn’t make it work so that I wasn’t upsetting my DC’s friends and neighbours, I wouldn’t do it.

Of course it’s Scrooge. What would Scrooge say if someone asked him to share something? “No! I paid for it!”

@flaviaritt literally everyone

Do you invite all your friends and family on your meals out and invite them to dig in? If not, why not? I hope you do otherwise you're a tight arse

*Literally everyone says this about things they've paid for

Do you invite all your friends and family on your meals out and invite them to dig in? If not, why not? I hope you do otherwise you're a tight arse

I’ve explained time and time again why I don’t think this situation is the same as certain other examples. This is another case of that. No, I don’t invite all my friends and family to eat with me every time I eat out. But nor do I sit outside their front door with a feast, knowing they can see me and refusing to share.

@oakleaffy

Have never heard of this, but I dod remember a grumpy 'Santa' at a London department store as a child. He asked what I wanted, and I said ''A Pony, please, or a Rocking horse''

He mumbled some nonsense , and I received a 'present' from one of his 'Elves'...A plastic whistle.

Dad made a scene about the whistle being 'A pile of junk for the price of the 'Grotto'....and I received a tin spinning top that reminded me of the whole ghastly experience.

Santa is best left to the imagination, he too often is fallible when played by a man dressed up.

I'm confused, did you actually expect a shop Santa to give you a rocking horse

@flaviaritt

Not really. If people want their kids to get a visit from santa, they can book one too.

And Bob Cratchit can buy his own turkey.

I hate to break it for you, but A Christmas Carol is fictional

I hate to break it for you, but A Christmas Carol is fictional

And allegorical.

@jessstan1

Who the f* are Anna and Elsa?

Your daughter is eight for goodness sakes, not three - how embarrassing will this entire shindig be for her. I'd have disappeared for the day if my parents had organised something so insulting to my intelligence.

My DD is 8 and would love this, what a weird comment

@JoeCalFuckingZaghe

Your daughter is eight for goodness sakes, not three - how embarrassing will this entire shindig be for her. I'd have disappeared for the day if my parents had organised something so insulting to my intelligence. I feel really sorry for children who are forced to grow up too quickly as this is what pond life it produces. EIGHT years old and you're basically laughing at a child who is a CHILD who is enjoying the magic of Christmas. Something is embarrassing but it's not this 'shindig'

@JoeCalFuckingZaghe 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Only on MN are the feeling of stranger's children someone else's responsibility

Now I know what this thread reminds me of - the one with that ridiculous comment about "a child's joy" when it came to pinching someone else's paid-for window seat on a flight

And yes I know it's different, so ignore me

You would cancel something you organised for your own child if it wasn't possible for every child in the street to participate? So you would deprive your own child so that other children didn't miss out on something that your child is now missing out on?

If she didn’t know about it, yes. But I like to think I wouldn’t have booked it to start with, under these circumstances.

Seriously, op, regardless of what I think of the Santa myth and I realise my opinion isn't important, you were seriously unwise to mention what you were planning to anybody else with children who would be bound to tell them. Of course, if kids know 'Santa' & Co are going to appear, they will be doing their best to see 'him'! They are children so are bound to.

Why not cancel and plan something else, discreetly this time.

Ask your children, or rather your eldest child because the younger one is only a baby, what they think about it all. He or she might prefer something entirely different and doesn't know how to tell you because you're so excited about this!

Good luck.

OP, you have spend £50 to have Santa and Frozen to give YOUR children all the attention. YANBU in any way, shape or form.

If other people want their kids to do it, they either book it for themselves or give you £25 towards it.

@flaviaritt

Such and suchs mummy paid for that.

Which would be fine - and very much what I would say for a bouncy castle or a party - but it’s Father Christmas. Do you not think mentioning his day rate would somewhat spoil the magic?

Honestly I'd just say "that isn't the real Santa, he'll be somewhere over Mexico by now, but Daisy's mum hired one of his friends/relatives to pop round."

The same way I tell them grotto Santa isn't the real Santa but a minion of sorts.

I really don't think people who get all flustered over simple things to tell their kids all well equipped to be parents. You're the adult - if they ask difficult questions think of something smart. Don't expect the rest of the world to bend to you and your diddums.

@flaviaritt

So when Santa,Elsa and Anna give Op's kids treat bags and none of the other children how is that going to go over? Not well.

That’s true, but as I said above that can be done more discreetly.

But again, the bottom line for me is that if I couldn’t make it work so that I wasn’t upsetting my DC’s friends and neighbours, I wouldn’t do it.

No ot can't. Not right now. This is occurring during Covid on OP's doorstep. Even of done at a park you expect the actors to make a second trip to deliver the treat bags?

@flaviaritt

Do you invite all your friends and family on your meals out and invite them to dig in? If not, why not? I hope you do otherwise you're a tight arse

I’ve explained time and time again why I don’t think this situation is the same as certain other examples. This is another case of that. No, I don’t invite all my friends and family to eat with me every time I eat out. But nor do I sit outside their front door with a feast, knowing they can see me and refusing to share.

Hat if they were at the bar and hungry would you share your food @flaviaritt

I really don't think people who get all flustered over simple things to tell their kids all well equipped to be parents.

Better give mine back, then? I can send her to the Scrooges, I’m sure they’ll do a much better job.

Hat if they were at the bar and hungry would you share your food @flaviaritt**

Depends, doesn’t it? A friend who had her own money or a child watching me shovel a fudge sundae?

@flaviaritt

Such and suchs mummy paid for that.

Which would be fine - and very much what I would say for a bouncy castle or a party - but it’s Father Christmas. Do you not think mentioning his day rate would somewhat spoil the magic?

You don't think Father Christmas giving treat bags to only 2 of the children isn't going to spoil that? Do you honestly expect OP to pay for treat bags for every child that lives in block of flats?

You don't think Father Christmas giving treat bags to only 2 of the children isn't going to spoil that? Do you honestly expect OP to pay for treat bags for every child that lives in block of flats?

I’ve now said three times that treat bags could be handed over discreetly.

@Puzzledandpissedoff

Only on MN are the feeling of stranger's children someone else's responsibility

Now I know what this thread reminds me of - the one with that ridiculous comment about "a child's joy" when it came to pinching someone else's paid-for window seat on a flight

And yes I know it's different, so ignore me

I remember a thread about Bill splitting and I commented saying I prefer to pay my own share as I eat like a lion and wouldn't want my veggie non-drinking friends to have to contribute to my food. I was told more than once that I was tight. For not making my friends pay for more than what they ate