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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

PIL huge dissapointment

390 replies

Ilovepancakes6 · 19/11/2020 01:12

OK so a few weeks ok I had a medical emergency and needed to go to the hospital (broken bone) I have 2 young children under 3.

This was at a weekend and my DH was at home with me, we decided to call his family to ask if they would come to watch the children whilst DH took me to the hospital (covid restrictions so he was only dropping me, would have been 45mins maximum). They weren't very keen as they were going to the pub said they would come if we couldn't find anyone else. We made other arrangements and I was home within 3 hours. NHS ❤

His parents did txt him the day after saying they felt bad and DH said dont worry about it (he is very forgiving and doesn't hold grudges or like being cross with ppl).

I am absolutely livid!!! I basically don't give a flying f**k about them anymore, they always say they are there for us blah blah bullshit ive been apart of this family for 16 years, to me actions speak louder than words. AIBU being so angry and hurt??

OP posts:
ghostyslovesheets · 23/11/2020 09:23

I hope they don’t read the Daily Fail

BloggersBlog · 23/11/2020 09:27

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8967833/Mother-blasts-laws-choosing-PUB-instead-looking-children.html

You obviously do, like me Grin

I hope they do!! May shame them into seeing how selfish they were

ghostyslovesheets · 23/11/2020 09:36

I like to check what the opposition is up to Bloggers!

alexis4theppl · 23/11/2020 11:57

Saw this in Daily mail and had to check the replies.

Whilst I think it was probably hurtful that they said no, I think your PIL were probably thinking why the hell are they asking us when your husband was home?

In a panic you have maybe thought you needed outside help but I think this was something you could have just got on with.

The kids could have gone with to drop you off or you could have called a cab to get there. Both would have been quicker solutions than waiting for them to arrive.

BloggersBlog · 23/11/2020 12:04

The kids could have gone with to drop you off or you could have called a cab to get there. Both would have been quicker solutions than waiting for them to arrive

  1. Where do you expect the kids to sit? She had broken her leg and needed the whole of the back seat
  1. The taxi guy would not be insured to help a passenger from his taxi into the hospital with a broken leg
  1. Is compassion on ration now? Cant in laws help for 45 mins without the cry of "you had kids - sort it yourself" going up
  1. Why am I bothering to answer when OP clearly has moved on and cba herself Grin
Divebar · 23/11/2020 12:29

I hope the OP hasn’t read the comments on the Daily Mail article.

timeisnotaline · 23/11/2020 12:31

@alexis4theppl

Saw this in Daily mail and had to check the replies.

Whilst I think it was probably hurtful that they said no, I think your PIL were probably thinking why the hell are they asking us when your husband was home?

In a panic you have maybe thought you needed outside help but I think this was something you could have just got on with.

The kids could have gone with to drop you off or you could have called a cab to get there. Both would have been quicker solutions than waiting for them to arrive.

Well fucking fuck. The kids could NOT have gone with her- how exactly? Bouncing up and down on her broken leg as their car seats were removed to let the op sit across on the back seat? And you could have called a taxi? I should feel desperately sorry for all these people who truly believe each one of us is an island (with our children especially if we are female) but I’m just raging that they are here making with normal healthy expectations of family relationships feel like shit while managing a broken leg. Bonus fury for people weighing in when they patently can’t read.
rosiezgirl · 23/11/2020 13:15

Hiya. I'm a mum, and a mum in law, and would drop everything to look after the kids! Especially as it's an emergency. I've always done that. Probably because we had to struggle through emergencies when our 4 children were little. No-one watched them for us. My parents had died before my first 2 were born, and my in-laws worked full time. But even on their evenings off they would have the other grandchild, but not our 4. As they grew up our sons noticed this. The result is they don't have much of a bond with their grandparents. Your husband should be talking this over with his parents. Do they want to lose the lovely bond that they could cherish. Just a thought.

HeadNorth · 23/11/2020 13:20

@Divebar

I hope the OP hasn’t read the comments on the Daily Mail article.
Let me guess - the DM commenters are basically a load of selfish people who love the pub? Am I close? Really, I would expect nothing else from the sort of sad acts who read and comment on the DM.
Divebar · 23/11/2020 13:43

@Headnorth

It was more “you chose to have children don’t expect anyone else to look after them” - I expect in all their years of child rearing they never had any help from family members ever. Thankfully I don’t live in a family like that.

MzHz · 23/11/2020 13:48

@HeadNorth with a bit of luck the in-laws will see just how many people think they’re utterly awful

And yes. I’d not expect anything of anyone who reads the DM.

I judge. After The ‘spawn’ comments made about those poor kids burnt to death by their parents anyone who reads that rag is beneath contempt

MzHz · 23/11/2020 13:49

And I count my mum and her h in that category they too only help if they get kudos from it, if someone is watching or they can spin a story out of it.

They’ve let me down so much in the past. I’m NC now and life for us is all the better for it

DeadButDelicious · 23/11/2020 13:54

I broke my ankle in the summer (three places, pins and plates, on my arse for weeks, only able to hop to the bathroom with a Zimmer frame etc) and I'm only just able to get about by myself without crutches. Without my family I would have been completely screwed. I am thankful everyday that they came through for me and helped as much as they did. But in our family that's what you do, help each other when you need it.

I think you have every right to be annoyed and disappointed that they put drinks with friends over their DIL with a serious injury OP. And I would certainly remember this when they need something.

HermioneKipper · 23/11/2020 13:55

Can’t believe what I’m reading here! Do all these parents really not care that much/help in medical emergencies?? Awful. What’s the point of having kids if you clearly don’t give a fuck.

I’m with you OP. Would be furious. Mark their cards. I’d be remembering all this when they’re old and infirm and offering zero help

Belladonna12 · 23/11/2020 14:03

I don't blame you at all for being upset with them. I wouldn't forget this if I was you.

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