Neighbour's noise complaint - what to do?

[Frankola]

I'll try to keep this simple. A bit of backstop first.

A month ago an elderly lady moved into the house next door. This house is a 3 story 4 bedroom property attached to mine.

I have a 4 year old daughter and a husband.

Here's the aibu -
Today I answered the door to my elderly next door neighbour who told me that the noise from my house "everyday from 6pm to 10pm is unacceptable".

When I asked her to elaborate she told me that my 4 year old daughter "bangs and shouts".

I really can't get my head around this. From 6pm we are eating tea and getting a bath! My dd isn't banging a drum kit or learning the bagpipes!

I'm shocked that this woman thinks its acceptable to complain about general family living noises at teatime?! Worse still, when I explained that I was quite confused as I'd never had any issues with neighbours over the previous 4 years we've lived there she told me "well you do have a problem now"!

I'm now driving myself mad with the idea shes going to report us to the police or social services or continue to cause us issues with her complaints.

So - aibu to post dog shit through her letterbox?
Seriously though - what would you do?

I can see why this thread has provoked so many replies, but it's got to that point where people aren't reading all of the OP's posts: use the See All function, fresh posters! It saves making assumptions which have already been addressed.

@Heyahun do you have laminate/wooden flooring? The noise from that is unreal, I thought a condition of tenancies was that unless you lived on the ground floor, you had to have carpets to soften the noise, that was the case anyway when I lived in council housing. I only realised how bad it was when I was in a friends house and the noise coming from her upstairs neighbour was horrendous. It was them simply going about their day, but the wooden flooring amplified every footstep.

If you know you aren't making a lot of noise, carry on.

Don't even joke about the dog shit - if you perceive your neighbours as noisy (whether they are or not) it makes your life miserable. So all you can do is carry on, and let her report you.

This. My Mum has Tinnitus and it’s loud banging noises

Hmm... I mean obviously just ignore the noise complaint, as others have said, because even if she escalates it nothing will come of it unless you are actually making unreasonable noise at an anti-social hour.

But I would probably still be trying to play nice. I hate neighbour animosity, it makes life needlessly stressful. So even though she's clearly a grumpy get, I would meet it with kindness. You don't need to put up with with shit, but still smiling and waving, and if she knocks on again to talk about the noise I would try invited her in for a cup of tea while you discuss it. She may not go for it, but worth a shot.

@Livelovebehappy

And if you don’t want to start an all out war, ignore Babybumpxox’s advice 🙄 There’s more adult ways of approaching the situation. Offer to sit down with her and discuss. You’ll be able to get more of an idea of what specific noise she is referring to and be able to both come to a compromise.

Haha ok Couldn't live my life being a dying beg. Could never be me ✌🏽

[quote Frankola]@greyskyclouds so because she is a 70 year old woman I shouldn't be concerned about her actions?

I don't want the council or some pcso knocking at my door over something trivial. I dont think that's something to laugh at?[/quote]
We live next door to a couple 70+ and they are the vilest, most spiteful and combative people I've ever met.
Age is nothing. Just because they are over a certain age, doesn't mean they are exempt from being horrible. I feel for you op

Buy your Daughter a drum kit, and a set of bagpipes!!

MAKE HER A CARD???????!!! Good lord 😂🤦‍♀️

Yeah, that's up there with giving her a creme egg (one for the oldies ).

Just because she's 70 doesnt mean she is incapable of being a moaning or spiteful neighbour.
I also read the 'you've got a problem now' thing as a veiled threat as it sounds like exactly the sort of thing someone would say if they are prone to making someone's life awkward or making lots of complaints.

She's moved from a detached bungalow to a house with shared walls and stairs. She probably hasn't a clue what normal and reasonable noise is and failed to consider that then buying the property.

I'd kill with kindness and politeness, nothing gushing, but enough that even if she doesn'dcome round to being nice you have the satisfaction of maintaining the high ground.

Just because they are over a certain age, doesn't mean they are exempt from being horrible. I feel for you op

It does mean that on MN. They either have dementia or are desperately lonely. It's not possible that they are just arseholes.

Sounds like my mother, who quite frankly wouldn't be happy if she lived on her own in the middle of a field.

She has her TV on silent and then complains, she can hear the nect door neighbours. Every noise they make she complains, she is horrendous.

We are no contact, my daughter sees her occasionally

Just carry on as normal 🤷‍♀️

Just because they are over a certain age, doesn't mean they are exempt from being horrible

Exactly. If you are not the source of the noise, just get on with you life and don't kow tow to the nonsense.

Every flat is identical with the same hardwood floors / new build apartment block!
So I’d imagine that it would be the case that all the other residents would have the same issue with noise tbh

We have a Facebook group for residents - nobody else seems to have any noise complaints tbh!

I can hear next door walking around in the day alright - but can’t say it bothers me I just see it as normal noise when you live in such close proximity

Meant to tag you in above post @AwaAnBileYerHeid

Im sorry but I’m with ShortSilence yes I get people who are aged 70 are not elderly and can live where ever they want but why would one buy a 3 story 4 bedroom townhouse?

I often stay (before lockdown) at a friends townhouse and they put me on the top floor. It’s a treck I tell ya!

Can you speak to neighbour and find out which of the 4 bedrooms and 3 floors she sleeps in so you can find out where the possible noise is coming from?

@Frankola OP, something you said upthread made me think.... You say the previous residents of the neighbour’s house had problems with noise from the other side? Sounds like they are the culprits here!

Personally, I would write a note to elderly neighbour, stating that you do not make the noises you’re being accused of etc etc and make a point of stating that the previous residents of her house had problems with noise from the other side and that as is so often the case in terraced properties, you fully believe that she could be inadvertently mistaking their noise as coming from your house.
(Maybe get DH to pop it through letterbox late at night or when you know she’s out!)

It might not work but I suspect it will do. Especially if the same noisy neighbours still live at the other side of her.... Generally noisy people don’t just suddenly stop being noisy, after all...
Worst that can happen as a result of your note, is that she ignores it 🤷🏼‍♀️ Def worth a try in my eyes

Please Let's not drag this on. IGNORE HER. END OFF.

If the noise is not coming from you then move on, sure there could be a million reasons why this neighbour said this but like anything in life if you are not the source than don't complicate the thinking about it. People do not have to take on other peoples oddities

Some bloody horrible reactions on here ranging from "make loads of noise" (and upset, further, an elderly woman who lives on her own) and the horrible ageist comments.

And the little drip about OPs DH gaming? yeah. You need to check that you're not being noisy and maybe have a touch of compassion for someone who believes her quiet enjoyment of her home is being compromised. I wonder how long it took before she got up to complaining to you.

@vivamiltonkeynes there is no penny to drop. My husband isn't a 15 year old boy playing a console on full blast through a cinema speaker. He's a 40 year old man who usually has it on about volume 10 of 150. Sorry to disappoint.

@xiaoxiong it can't be the cupboards. She says its between 6pm and 10pm. I cook for about 30 mins. I'm definitely not in and out of cupboards at 10pm.

You have one four year old doing normal things. She should count herself lucky. I apologise for the noise to my neighbours as I’m sure it gets a bit loud but they all just say they like hearing children play which I realise is my luck. She’s not got a leg to stand on.