To ask why children and teens have such bad mental health? (pre-pandemic)

[peepeelongstocking]

Surely there must be something massively wrong in society, but what is it? I’m inclined to think it’s social media (screens as a whole really), and a lack of prospects for the future (due to high house prices and lack of jobs). Surely there must be more to it though.

I know we’re diagnosing MH issues much more, but it’s rare that you’d find an older person who remembers feeling suicidal during their teen years for example. That seems to be more or less standard now.

I’d love to know what others think it is!

Housing has always been expensive and jobs have always been hard to get. Poverty and crap parenting has also always existed. I am inclined to agree that it must be one or both of social media and expectation of being always successful and happy as the norm. I don’t agree with people having low expectations, but it needs to be tempered with realism. It is normal to feel sad sometimes or not get what you want. It is great that people don’t need to suffer terrible psychological distress if there are drugs to help them, but I do wonder whether there is over reliance on pharmaceuticals. I think this probably started in the late nineties (when about half of my university class seemed to be prescribed something to get through the normal exam stress of finals). Also, mental health issues were hushed up, so are there really a lot more now? Kids with issues tended to get sent away to borstal-type schools.

Parents used to worry much less about getting it right and how it appeared to everyone else.

Parents weren't worried about appearances and what others thought?

Tell that to the thousands of sexually abused children that had the abuse brushed under the carpet because "what would people say".
The thousands of young girls that have been disowned,sent away,had their babies snatched from them because "what would people say".
The thousands of children beaten,abused or sent away for being different/disabled because "what would people say".

Give me a break!

They might've not been diagnosed with depression or anxiety or whatever.. but for hundreds of years children and teens struggled and self harmed. You just know them as the "weirdos" ,the pot heads,the druggies, the alcoholics,the gang members, the feckless and reckless, the overly sexual girls , the homeless,the bad seeds/influence etc. The "failures". And that's the ones that stayed alive or were still around to be seen.

Ahh resilience and lack of emotional intelligence in parents!

You must be a teacher or work at CAMHS?

That may account for some but not all, parent blaming at its finest.

Living in a society that prioritises consumerism, acquisition, and external looks over character, creativity and community with a focus on what is best for the individual rather than the collective good.

Spending hours and hours on-line allows teens to avoid discomfort and leaves them without coping skills or self-confidence and a crippling fear of "failure" and ridicule, or a fear of even trying in the first place. They also can access everything at the touch of a button without having to strive or make an effort or be patient which ultimately leads to a lack of fulfilment.

Material things don't make you happy but good relationships do, and in normal times, there is too little time for families to spend together. Families are now spread over long distances.

Access to 24 hr rolling global news which focuses on negative stories.

Access to teenage soap operas on television which focus on self-harm, dying of cancer, tragic accidents, family breakdown , for the sake of "drama".

Not enough positivity to counteract all of the above.

And parents who have fallen for all of this Instagram "making memories" gumph most of which, when you drill down, are opportunities for retailers to deprive working families of their hard earned cash.

Parents emphasising "success" and "happiness" rather than effort and hard work and self-discipline. Parents who place so much emphasis on self-confidence, self-care, self-fulfillment and forget to teach their DC to think of others. Parents who are afraid to say "no".

More and more time spent indoors in polluted concrete jungles without the benefits of open spaces, open skies, trees, plants and animals.

I was a teenager in the late 80s/early 90s and I remember plenty of miserable teenagers and I know plenty of people who had eating disorders that were dismissed as attention seeking and who attempted suicide. Depression and anxiety were not invented by this generation of teens, they're just the first ones who've been raised in an environment where it might be noticed by responsible adults.

[quote dontdisturbmenow]@cantdothisnow, obviously my comments apply to the general population, not children with conditions that cause anxiety themselves.[/quote]
I know, I just feel a bit sensitive because a lot of people assume that all of these things come down to bad parenting.

Comments like this do impact on parents of children with autism and mental health issues. There is a massive tendency in schools and with some agencies to try to blame the parents.

The trouble is, as well, that these issues can lead to a diagnosis, because many children mask autism and it doesn't always show in obvious traits.

The actual prevalence has only gone up very slightly too: www.gov.uk/government/publications/better-mental-health-jsna-toolkit/5-children-and-young-people#:~:text=The%20most%20recent%20survey%20of,2%20or%20more%20mental%20disorders.

There isn’t a thing such as good young for social media’ they’re on it early. Super early. So that and parenting. Parents who are scared that their children won’t love them if they aren’t their best friend and they say no. I hear ‘but they’ll be left out’ as an excuse constantly for children accessing what’s app and it ending badly.
And parents happy to diagnose anxiety.... there is a difference between having anxiety - the diagnosis and being anxious. We all get anxious - every day I would bet - the vast majority of children and parents don’t seem to understand how to withstand any anxiety at all.

So many things.

1. As a previous poster alluded to, instead of being sad or worried, it's depressed and anxious--not saying that accounts for all of it, just saying the medicalisation of moods has added to the statistics.
2. Screens/social media. It's really replaced physical activity and socialising in person (both of which are essential to well-being) as the main use of time outside of school for many kids.
3. Loads more people don't live near family than they used to --I think this makes a difference in support systems that has an effect on the way the family operates.

4.Lack of responsibility/physical jobs. I was just looking around today and realised I don't know how to do anything but cook. I mean, I have a job, but I can't create anything you can hold. Nor can my kids. Even two generations ago, people did way more with their hands. It gave them a feeling of accomplishment. It's just so much easier these days to plop down in front of the click click scrolly thing which was designed to make you want more.

Is there a rise in MH issues? I was an anxious teen, bulimic and self harmed in the mid 90s. Nobody noticed and I just would have got a bollocking if they had. Doesn't mean it didn't happen. I suspect I am very far from the only one. Same with adults. People claim a rise in MH issues and autism but if you look at stories from mid 20th century, they drank themselves senseless and necked whatever drugs they could get their hands on to help. We have family members who were 'odd' who have suffered for a lifetime, deeply depressed and suicidal because they were undiagnosed autistic and left to flail through life.

Urgh, try again... digital.nhs.uk/data-and-information/publications/statistical/mental-health-of-children-and-young-people-in-england/2017/2017

*’too young

The "always on" culture. Not enough down time. Not enough time spent outdoors. Pace of life now. Pressures of school system. Pressure to look certain ways depending on age/sex. Busy and stressed parents (I'm aware that's not new, but combined with other factors it has an impact).

@CarterBeatsTheDevil

I was a teenager in the late 80s/early 90s and I remember plenty of miserable teenagers and I know plenty of people who had eating disorders that were dismissed as attention seeking and who attempted suicide. Depression and anxiety were not invented by this generation of teens, they're just the first ones who've been raised in an environment where it might be noticed by responsible adults.

Hear hear 👏

There has been a huge rise in self-reported adult poor mental health too. Mainly, I think there has been a cultural change in how we view wellbeing and happiness.

I was pretty unhappy as a kid but mental health problems weren't really recognized. We were expected to be stoic and just get on with life. I don't know whether this was better or worse actually. Sometimes just muddling through is a helpful philosophy to hold.

That said, I do remember that nobody really cared about anything - sure I took GCSE and A level but my parents and the school just didn't care whether I worked or not. That feels vastly preferable to today's nonsense and pressure we put on kids.

I do think diagnosis plays a part, although it's clearly not the only factor. I'm in agreement that social media is a big factor.

My DB and I were both diagnosed with MH conditions in our 20s, yet as children our issues (mostly displayed as anxiety around school) were played down. I think if we had been given better support then a diagnosis - or at least an acknowledgement - would have been a good thing. Similarly our grandfather definitely had issues with anxiety that were never diagnosed - just because older generations didn't have MH diagnoses doesn't mean MH problems weren't prevalent.

And by 'played down' I mean totally ignored!

[quote Misty9]The actual prevalence has only gone up very slightly too: www.gov.uk/government/publications/better-mental-health-jsna-toolkit/5-children-and-young-people#:~:text=The%20most%20recent%20survey%20of,2%20or%20more%20mental%20disorders.[/quote]
Ahh let's not let facts stand in the way of people waxing lyrical about the good ,simple old days and bitch about the snowflakey kids nowadays.

I think it is the "positive parenting" taken to the extreme.
I see parents of young children constantly and I mean constantly praising their children for every single action of the day.

• As you wait to cross the street, a mother lifts a child to press button "good pushing" ,
• a child makes a fuss at the till because he wants to pay, mother hands credit card and holds Childs " great paying"
• At friend's house, great .... putting the shoes on, good flushing, good this, great that,....

As a French, I find this nuts.
The praise is meaningless, and if a child expect a praise for anything, down the road, there is a big cliff.
And not letting them do wrong. In France, a shitty work, will have a lot of red, and the request to redo it. Here in Australia, a sticker with "good effort" .

If from the very first age, toddlers years, a child knows that sometimes you get things right, other you don't, be it a tower of cubes that collapses, or being the first ready at the door, children build a callus on negative emotions.
IN the same way, I see a lot of parents consoling and comforting for things that shouldn't, a child (4 years old( is told off nicely when being indelicate with a book " careful with the book, you are ripping the pages" child start crying and hiding behind my sofa, while the mother goest and console her saying " she didn't mean it"

Social Media. Peer pressure. No teaching children to be self sufficient (I'm as guilty as that as most parents)

Ignorance. Minimising. Dismissiveness.

Or at least on this thread.

I don't think it's necessary worse now than it used to be - it's just talked about more and there are lots of movements going on which encourage people to be open about their mental health struggles - something which never really happened even 20 years ago.

I read a lot of threads on here (particularly on relationships) where people say they had miserable childhoods and teenage years, but they were just left to get on with it. Therapy, medication etc. just wasn't an option - they just had to deal with things on their own. And a lot of those people now have considerable problems as adults because their MH problems were just never dealt with.

I was diagnosed with autism in my late twenties and it's a condition that often manifests itself in depression and anxiety in the teenage years (particularly in girls). I genuinely think the only reason I was pushed to get help was because autism runs in the family and my parents knew the signs and that I needed help.

I'm sure there are things today that don't help people's mental health (24 hour news, social media, lack of exercise and poor diet being the main culprits imo) but let's not go down the road of pretending that everything was peachy forty years ago. Lots of children were neglected and came from very dysfunctional homes, and they received little to no help and were just expected to cope with their emotions and reactions.

Fucked up home lives in a lot of cases. Plus mental health being discussed more openly now.

Everybody has mental health issues to a certain extent if they look deep enough inside themselves, I know I do and I class myself as mentally healthy.

It’s definitely down to too much screen time, not allowed to go outside as much and social media plays a big part in it.