To ask why children and teens have such bad mental health? (pre-pandemic)

[peepeelongstocking]

Surely there must be something massively wrong in society, but what is it? I’m inclined to think it’s social media (screens as a whole really), and a lack of prospects for the future (due to high house prices and lack of jobs). Surely there must be more to it though.

I know we’re diagnosing MH issues much more, but it’s rare that you’d find an older person who remembers feeling suicidal during their teen years for example. That seems to be more or less standard now.

I’d love to know what others think it is!

When I was a teenager I hung around with a group of friends (in the street as a gang and then in pubs when you could get past the doorman). If you did or said something stupid then you'd get the piss taken out of you and it might spread beyond your school or social group but would eventually fade. Nowadays everyone has a camera and social media can make you an unwilling internet sensation in the blink of an eye. Your life can be ruined in seconds with the legacy remaining indefinitely.

Top that with the fake lives of your peers paraded before you on social media and the expectations to be as pretty, as rich, as popular as the representations, then of course you're going to be anxious with low self-esteem, and paranoia and poor mental health follows.

Humans need resilience and to be able to cope with small setbacks, in order to survive and thrive. Young people not really having that resilience, coupled with them then comparing themselves to others through social media who put out a false image of coping with everything fine, is going to cause problems.

@FraughtwithGin

Over-stimulation from birth. To many extra-curricular activities, not enough "down time". Too much technology, pressure to "compete", social media. News and information 24/7. You cannot process all of this and most of it is gratuitous. Enormous emphasis on appearance. Never being allowed to "fail", so never learning to deal with disappointment. Inflated expectations - not everyone can be a brain surgeon, yet flooding the tertiary education sector with students has both devalued the system and raised people's expectations of what they are "worth".

This.

And too many exams, too many activities.

Too little discipline and too little responsibility (from a young age).

Life is more complex than ever but easier than ever. And we don't value extended family and community anymore so life can feel small.

Social media I think, because it is 24/7. If I had a bad day at school, I would walk home and the person or people or situation that had caused it were nowhere to be seen.

The big increase in poor mental health for young people correlates with the start of mainstream access to the Internet and, yes, social media. But I think social media is demonised, as have been many advances in technology before that, and it's a symptom not a cause. A symptom of the general lack of connection we suffer from in society these days. We're disconnected from ourselves, each other and the planet, yet we need social connection and a sense of belonging to survive. So we seek it through social media use. Mumsnet users anyone...?

But also the school system, over focus on academic outcomes mainly, and the pathologisation of normal human emotions. Most young people talk about depression and anxiety these days and there seems to be little acknowledgement or acceptance of it being normal to feel low or on edge every now and then. I also suspect there might be a correlation between an increase in parental mental ill health and that of young people.

Ultimately we need to reevaluate our values as a society. But I don't hold out much hope of that occurring anytime soon.

Over-stimulation from birth.
To many extra-curricular activities, not enough "down time".
Too much technology, pressure to "compete", social media.
News and information 24/7. You cannot process all of this and most of it is gratuitous.
Enormous emphasis on appearance.
Never being allowed to "fail", so never learning to deal with disappointment. Inflated expectations - not everyone can be a brain surgeon, yet flooding the tertiary education sector with students has both devalued the system and raised people's expectations of what they are "worth"

^This.

@lumberingaboutthehouse

I don’t think they do, I think there’s an agenda to make us believe they do though.

People confuse ‘anything a child could feel sad or worried about’ with ‘depression and anxiety’.

Yes, this is an issue too. My kids school is doing a lot of stuff on 'mental health' etc at the moment. But my worry is that the kids will start thinking that normal worries/anxieties/nerves/feeling a bit down are a sign that they have a 'mental health issue' which could become a self fulfilling prophecy.

I am glad school is allowing kids to talk about their feelings etc, and I think it's especially important for boys. But I also think children need to be taught what normal human negative feelings are, and that they are nothing to be concerned about a lot of the time.

Social media I think, because it is 24/7.

Not if you as a parent put limits/restrictions on it, which far too many parents fail to do.

I don't think they have more than young people did when I was a teenager (I'm 40). I think we just know more about it, talk more about it.

Again what about children too young to have social media?

OP asked about children and teens not just teens.

Interestingly, the suicide rate for males aged 10-29 in 1981 was 9.8 , in 2014 it was 9.9 per 100 thousand.

One size fits all school system.

Not recognising diversity of learning styles, SATS tests at 10/11 which make dyslexic kids fail from the outset.

Teaching to these tests from year 3.

Humans need resilience and to be able to cope with small setbacks, in order to survive and thrive. Young people not really having that resilience, coupled with them then comparing themselves to others through social media who put out a false image of coping with everything fine, is going to cause problems
Parents assuming their kids can't cope with situations. A move, a new school, spending a weekend with grandparents they don't know well, new friendships, new activities. In the end, kids do believe their parents that they can't cope and that lack of control leads to anxiety and depression.

@ComeOnBabyHauntMyBubble

All the people blaming social media, you do realise there are plenty of children under 8 that struggle with their mental health,anxiety,self harm etc.

What impact exactly social media has on them?

Social media has a significant impact on their parents though and consequently how they parent their children. Parents used to worry much less about getting it right and how it appeared to everyone else. Now it’s like people expect to follow a parenting script and have forgotten how to rely on their instincts. This pressure then is passed down to the children. It’s ok to fail, and it’s ok to be different are two messages that seem to be hard to get through to people. Mainly because social media tells us the exact opposite.

My daughter has always had problems

When she was tiny she was always a bit of a square peg in a round hole.

In primary school she was really struggling so was assessed for autism, ADD, ADHD, dyspraxia, dyslexia amongst other things but while she was clearly on the spectrum, nothing was ever bad enough for a proper diagnosis.

She had lots and lots of support from school all through primary and did well, but then she started high school and it all went to shit.

Some bullying in year 7, which was dealt with really badly by school, shot what little self confidence she had. Her mental health has deteriorated and her anxiety increased, she has a social phobia and recently developed severe motor and verbal tics.

School are being very supportive, she’s getting up, putting a smile on her face and doing what she has to do each day, but her tics are currently off the scale, she’s struggling to sleep, stressed with school and worry over catching up, taking mocks, etc, while we’re waiting to be seen by CAMHS

@dontdisturbmenow

Humans need resilience and to be able to cope with small setbacks, in order to survive and thrive. Young people not really having that resilience, coupled with them then comparing themselves to others through social media who put out a false image of coping with everything fine, is going to cause problems Parents assuming their kids can't cope with situations. A move, a new school, spending a weekend with grandparents they don't know well, new friendships, new activities. In the end, kids do believe their parents that they can't cope and that lack of control leads to anxiety and depression.

That's a simplistic view.

I always did assume my kids could cope, they are autistic and masked. That lead to anxiety and depression on top of the autism.

It's also more talked about nowadays. Looking back at my own childhood, I had lots of issues which my parents ignored and that I kept hidden for fear of being a nuisance.

I agree with the too much of everything and the trend for softly, softly parenting. I’m not advocating beating children in anyway, but it’s become taboo for parents to discipline their children in any manner or even to say no to them. Also, whilst I’m not diminishing mental health issues at all, the fact that they are discussed so much, means that everyone who has any kind of negative thoughts immediately thinks they must have depression or anxiety, when actually some mild thoughts from time to time are normal. When I was a child, we didn’t really think about mental health issues, unless very severe, so wouldn’t describe ourselves has having them. It’s like the whole trans thing, now it’s so widely talked about any child who’s ever thought about what it would be like to be the opposite sex suddenly decides that they must be trans, whereas ‘in my day’ it would just be daydreaming.

I disagree that it’s completely social media. There have always been unhappy children and teenagers.

I’m nearly 40 and often felt suicidal at school. I was bullied. I didn’t have any friends and my family weren’t very supportive. I remember reading about teenagers who tragically killed themselves when I was young - most were bullied and/or had mental health issues.

I think there is massive pressure to do well in exams that just wasn't there thirty years ago. Then you could leave school and pretty much walk into a job of some sorts. Not so now, There is a constant pressure to do well in order to get into university to then get a job. And once you've done all that in many places you still won't be able to afford to buy a house.

Social media and too many rights.
There used to be a time when you could nip things in the bud, but now you have to wait so long for any assessment and treatment that the illness can progress.
Waiting for an assessment of my dd, it's likely a personality or behaviour disorder so nothing small.
They are going awol, drinking, running away, etc and social services and the Police are stretched.
We were told we'd have to lock ours in as not enough Police to go looking for her.

Social media
Exams
Global warming
Living in a depressed society
Everyone is fake
Everyone talks shit about one another
Future looks bleak
Home prices look too high so no future
Bad home life/conflict
Too much happening
Being unsure on self care.
Technology
Pressure over likes on social media
Peer pressure eg doing drugs
Some thinking self harm is almost normal
Feeling completely and utterly alone in everything
Feeling like no one cares
Bullying
Everything constantly changing
Having no stability

In the case of my DD it was a combination of stress, nasty girls in her form being arseholes to her, pressure from teachers and the fact she was struggling with her sexuality.
We found when she ditched her year group WhatsApp that was just an exercise in teenage goadiness and bullying, she was less inclined to care. She also benefited from a mentor and it became apparent she hadn't gotten over severe bullying at her original primary school. That was a year and a half of obscene violence from a male twice her size with threats of murder against her and me. We thought 3 years on she was fine but no, she bottled it up and said she was constantly worried that it would happen again. And having someone outside of family to talk to worked brilliantly.
She also got a far better friendship group so that helped
I do feel strongly though that they are far more aware of the world than we were. And there is so much pressure on them in schools now. Whether they mean it or not it's pretty full on.

Lack of emotional intelligence and resilience, from parents and therefore not passed onto the kids.

@cantdothisnow, obviously my comments apply to the general population, not children with conditions that cause anxiety themselves.