To ask why children and teens have such bad mental health? (pre-pandemic)

[peepeelongstocking]

Surely there must be something massively wrong in society, but what is it? I’m inclined to think it’s social media (screens as a whole really), and a lack of prospects for the future (due to high house prices and lack of jobs). Surely there must be more to it though.

I know we’re diagnosing MH issues much more, but it’s rare that you’d find an older person who remembers feeling suicidal during their teen years for example. That seems to be more or less standard now.

I’d love to know what others think it is!

@NotAKaren to me resilience is teaching children coping mechanisms, teaching them it's ok to have feelings and talk openly about them, its ok to seek help and guidance and most importantly children and adults need to be able to recognise triggers and signs when their MH is on the decline. I'm not a professional this is just my own opinion. My daughter self harmed during her teenage years, she was very private and wouldn't speak about anything, she does now and knows how to ask for help at home and in work. I think a lot of people keep things bottled up still. The good old British stiff upper lip 🙄

@DayB1Day a child I've recently worked with has just lost a parent, his home life is secure and loving and the parent he has is amazing but he's going through all sorts of emotions right now. The main one understandably being the fear of death. He's never been through this before so isn't particularly resilient. He's a confused little boy that struggles to sleep at night and separate from mum during the day.

@peepeelongstocking I'm 43 I overdosed at 14, became a recluse, cut off from friends, bunked school etc. It was put down to attention seeking as my parents were getting divorced and I wasn't the centre of the universe. I've always been quiet and hate being centre of attention, even as an adult I avoid any thing where the spotlights on me.

Housing has always been expensive

Rubbish - it’s far harder to get on the housing ladder now than it was 30 years ago. The reason being we’ve had a population boom to the tune of millions, but haven’t built the new homes to accommodate all these new people.

Being bullied is often sold as ‘it’s not your fault, you were just picked on, it’s a random choice’ when research shows clearly there are factors about victims that increase likelihood of being bullied and of a long term impact. That isn’t to say blame the victim but rather help the victims address their behaviours that place them at risk.

Or, the bullies could be taught not to bully?

Being bullied is often sold as ‘it’s not your fault, you were just picked on, it’s a random choice’ when research shows clearly there are factors about victims that increase likelihood of being bullied and of a long term impact. That isn’t to say blame the victim but rather help the victims address their behaviours that place them at risk

What now? How about we address the behaviours of the bully that place them at risk of bullying?

You sound like the parent at my DD’s school who, when being spoken to about the behaviour of her son towards my DD, announced that it was DD’s own fault because she was “weird” and “what does she expect?”

My daughter has Tourette’s

School gave both her and her son very short shrift

Yes, of course you address the bully’s behaviour but you also protect your children from mental health problems by teaching them skills and behaviour that reduces the risk of bullying.
Not to do so borders on negligence.

I don’t think young girls deserve to be raped. The man should be held accountable and sanctioned but I’ve always taught my girls risk management strategies to stay safe. I’d rather prevent than pick up the pieces afterwards. Whilst I think women should be able to wear whatever they like and walk the streets in safety, I also told the girls to moderate their behaviours in the interests of their own safety.

I think parents are obliged to reduce the risks of children developing conditions or behaviours likely to predispose them to bullying wherever possible. Some you clearly can’t do much about but some (Tourette’s included) can - note ‘can’ not a definitive ‘are’ - be triggered by parental choices.

Highly processed foods from birth (and in the womb), creating deficiencies in vitamins and minerals

Plus (dare I say it) working mothers and delegated care of babies to daycare centres.

(I am a working mother by the way)

I’m afraid making society less accepting of very young parenting would also help

There was much more very young parenting in the past than now. Teenage pregnancy rates have been declining steadily over the last few decades (though they are still higher in the UK than in some other parts of Europe); and the average age for a woman to have her first child is now 31.

I am not at all sure that mental health is so much worse among young people than in the past (as opposed to being more discussed); but at any rate teenage parenthood is not a new feature of modern life; rather the reverse,

There is a culture of "anxiety" and "depression" - largely self diagnosed - an unhappiness with their lot because they have a fear of missing out

Nobody is diagnosed, or for the most part even self-diagnosed, with anxiety or depression just because of FOMO or envy of someone else's possessions or activities. Unfortunately because 'anxiety' and 'depression' are used as everyday terms as well as mental health terms, this can lead to confusion. People may, for example, say at this time of year, 'Christmas makes me so anxious; I worry about not being able to afford a truly magical experience for my family' or 'It's so depressing when everyone else seems to get nicer presents than me!' But that doesn't mean that they have, or even think they have, anxiety or depression in the medical sense.

I do think that there is a certain amount of 'victim blaming' on this thread: an implication that people who have mental health problems are basically spoilt, undisciplined brats, who haven't been 'toughened up' enough. Being spoilt and undisciplined may cause bad behaviour, but it doesn't cause mental illness. (I do realize that there are some cases where mental health issues are caused by poor behavioural choices such as drug taking and excessive drinking; but this is not the usual cause.) Toughness and 'resilience' are, IMO, much more the result than the cause of good mental health.

Being bullied is often sold as ‘it’s not your fault, you were just picked on, it’s a random choice’ when research shows clearly there are factors about victims that increase likelihood of being bullied and of a long term impact. That isn’t to say blame the victim but rather help the victims address their behaviours that place them at risk.

This is not only blaming the victim (sorry, but it is!), but confusing cause and effect. Children with any sort of health problem or disability are at increased risk of being bullied, and this is probably especially true of mental health problems, as these affect behaviour more and increase isolation. So, not only does bullying cause mental health problems, but mental health problems increase the risk of being bullied. It's a vicious circle; but research suggests that being bullied increases the risk of mental health problems even when you control for the fact that mental health problems are a risk factor for being bullied. But it's not a case of 'Behave better/ be tougher and then you won't get bullied and subsequently develop mental health problems.'

Sleep also protects mental health and children who are allowed to continue with poor sleep patterns are far more likely to have behavioural and psychiatric disorders.

Again, this is confusing cause and effect. Sleep abnormalities are a very common symptom of mental health problems, and, especially in children, can often be one of the first obvious symptoms. It's true that sleep deprivation is also bad for mental health; and that living in a chaotic or frenetic environment, where it's difficult to settle into a good sleep routine, may aggravate mental health problems. But it's not as simple as children being allowed to continue with poor sleep patterns.

ddl1. I’m not confusing anything. I’m not blaming children who are bullied either - I’m suggesting there are protective measures and behaviours many (not all) can be taught.

Sleep is very well evidenced as having a protective effect on mental health. From infancy, children who are taught to sleep protect their own and their parents mental health.