To ask why children and teens have such bad mental health? (pre-pandemic)

[peepeelongstocking]

Surely there must be something massively wrong in society, but what is it? I’m inclined to think it’s social media (screens as a whole really), and a lack of prospects for the future (due to high house prices and lack of jobs). Surely there must be more to it though.

I know we’re diagnosing MH issues much more, but it’s rare that you’d find an older person who remembers feeling suicidal during their teen years for example. That seems to be more or less standard now.

I’d love to know what others think it is!

@Goosefoot I'm afraid you are misinformed or oversimplifying. People with major depressive disorder have alterations in the brain. They can be treated with SSRIs or other medications affecting neurotransmitter availability. That does not mean the brain changes came before the depression and is not the same as talking about the unproven 'chemical imbalance.'

Talking about suicidal feelings does not cause suicide to increase in prevalence. Glamorising suicide or methods can.

Unless you know better than the foremost neuroscientists and psychologists working in this field.

Does anyone else think a factor is that, whilst is seems like more kids have MH issues these days than ever, that actually when we were young, the same amounts of people had the same issues - it just wasn't spoken about. MH issues weren't as prevalent as they are now. I'm in my mid -late 30's and I couldn't count on just 2 hands how many people I knew from school or in childhood have committed suicide. And goodness knows how many more are living with complex MH issues.

@frazzledquaver I agree and the lines between mental health and wellbeing are very blurred

I feel that one could reuniting factor is the high stress out in children by our education system. My son, at 6 years old, has just started getting home work and this week will have his first test. At school he is terrified of making mistakes When doing writing, worries about loosing his break time if he doesn’t finish all his work and is worrying about having to do his first spelling test this week. He really values his down time after school and is struggling to adjust to fitting in his home work in his home time now.

I feel we out way to much pressure on small children, test them too much uneccissarily in primary school and don’t allow them enough freedom to play, be creative and make mistakes.

I’m not saying this is the be all and end all, just that to be it feels like something that must contribute to levels of anxiety type issues with children.

Conspiracies and conspiracy theories.

I agree. I never got homework at all until secondary school. I think very young children are too tired after school and don't benefit from homework at all

I think that some of it is distant parenting. When i was a child my mum was far more bothered about talking to her friends on the phone. Even when i was been bullied she cared far more about talking to her friends on the phone. Add to that the fact that i wasn't allowed to get emotional. Even when my period was due if i dared to birst into tears my mum would scream at me to get a grip and she would hit me. I just had to constantly pretend to be happy.

Mental health has always been around, it was just never discussed, it seems more prevalent now because it is talked about and accepted.

They have so much to contened with, their self worth, looks, peer groups, exams, future life, not wanting to dissapoint their parents to start with. Not forgiving those who come from from disadvantaged backgrounds or a family history of mental illness. These things were present before social media so i dont think that is solely to blame.
But with the invention of social media it forces all the above issues alot.more in their face. But on the plus side they can see they are not alone in how they feel.
I remember as a teen wanting to suffocate myself as i didnt understand how i was feeling i couldnt tell anyone as i didnt know how to express myself. In hindsight i can see what i was feeling and why and wished i could tell someone, so i am grateful that we are more open as a society and wish that more help was available to those that need it.

I am sure there are many things and that lots have been mentioned already, although the first thing that came to mind is school.

When I was at school, we weren’t in an area that did the 11 plus still and were the first National curriculum year and ended up taking some SATs in year 9. Other than that, it wasn’t until GCSEs in year 11 were we formally tested. Even though teachers may try hard to let on the abilities publicly and children will know who is able and who is not in the classroom, they know a lot earlier via testing and reporting whether they have “failed” to meet the age related targets set by a group of people in a room somewhere. When you could have “did not meet expected standard” as the statement to explain the numbers at the end of Primary, it can’t feel great. At least with the old levels, even if they didn’t get what was termed acceptable, it could still show progress for that child to see it paid off to work hard.

They are never good enough. Not even the brightest. There are always targets. They are given feedback on everything. Green pen for the good bits. Pink and pen for what needs improving. Use a purple pen to polish your work. From Reception. Teachers can and do try to put a positive spin on it but it still seeps in. My daughter said she liked tests as she would be left alone to get in with her work.

Some posters have said they aren’t allowed to fail and that may be true in some areas but I think for some children they end up feeling like a failure as they are never done. I think it is important to hear “you worked hard on that and it was a great result” every now and again. Without another word. No pink. No need to add purple.

The league tables have caused this. Hot housing in year 6, where the timetable is maths and English until the SATs and then its PE and Art. Teachers thinking that it doesn’t matter what they get as secondaries retest in year 7. Some don’t realise that if they’ve been hothoused and get inflated scores that it follows them and sets their targets until they leave at 16. So again, for many, they just can’t win. Five years of feeling like it doesn’t matter how hard you work you won’t get there because at GCSE you don’t stop everything else to just do maths and English.

Funding is a problem and is creeping into all schools now, as warned. Not enough support staff to take the time to listen to those who need to be listened to.

The curriculum is crammed. Even in Reception, we follow a formal timetable with very little play. It breaks my heart. Year 1 is worse. We try our best, we really do. It’s one of the reasons I doubt the job I do. I’m at the beginning of their journey and I try to make a difference. My daughter is at the end. Surely this can’t be the best that we can do for our children?

I'm not sure that exams and exam pressure can explain it fully tbh. There are many countries in the world that have much more pressured educational systems than the UK, and some of those have poor teen mh health ratings, but equally, many of them don't.

That's interesting. Do you have any examples?

Fatandfifty49 Have a look at Unicef's report "Worlds of Influence,
Understanding What Shapes Child Well-being in Rich Countries".

@MrsRichardArmitage everything you’ve written is so sad and I see what you say reflected in comments from my 6 year old.
He’s been a lot less happy since starting year 2 because there is less free play (I guess corona has an impact on that too). Also he keeps getting upset at having to write what he is told instead of being allowed to make up his own stories.

It alls feels too much too young. I wish we would
Listens to the teachers who work with the younger children rather than forcing assessments and test on them.

Thanks, Sockbubble

Social media.

Chaotic families- so many broken homes

parents with anxiety who create anxious children

I also think mental health is too much of a thing now.

It's talked about so much. There is no longer an attitude of getting on with it now and so much more "I can't work because I'm anxious"

Facebook posts of celebrating anxiety. It makes people wallow.

@Crumbleandcake

I also think mental health is too much of a thing now.

It's talked about so much. There is no longer an attitude of getting on with it now and so much more "I can't work because I'm anxious"

Facebook posts of celebrating anxiety. It makes people wallow.

What the fuck ? Clearly written by someone who has never had to deal with any mental health issues and if you say you have them in calling you out as a liar ! Being open about mental health issues is not “wallowing”
Fuck off .

Call me a liar then. I'm quite prone to low mood and anxiety.

I went through 7 years of being unable to concieve and struggled to get out of bed some days. I lost a baby after 3 years of trying for one. I had very dark days.

I had to pay my mortgage though and I had to maintain a career I had worked years to build so I forced myself to get up on days I couldn't see any light in the world.

Some days I cried none stop for hours at a time.

I valued being able to talk about it and that there was no shame in feeling low.

I also think mental health is too much of a thing now.

As opposed to the "good old days" where it wasn't talked about, people self-medicated with alcohol/illicit drugs/risky behaviour, and took the resulting destructive tendencies out on themselves and others? My father was an angry, emotionally abusive man for the vast majority of my childhood thanks to unrecognised and untreated mental illness because people didn't talk about it and it wasn't a 'thing'.

Catch on with yourself, not talking about something doesn't magically make it disappear.

I valued being able to talk about it and that there was no shame in feeling low

Then why belittle other people who are talking about their mental illness or are struggling with mental wellbeing?

For clarity. People should be able to talk freely without judgement about mental health difficulties but I think it's swinging too far the other way.

Exposure to the seemingly perfect body/relationship/family/lifestyle with associated impossibly expensive and beautiful ‘things’ - all thanks to different forms of social media CONSTANTLY in their faces - my daughter especially cites Emily Ratajowski (have you seem her inappropriately sexy pregnancy pics ffs?).

A pervading sense of entitlement amongst teens (especially teen girls) that they can achieve and have everything which just ain’t true - we have tried to make our kids’ lives more comfortable than ours and in doing so, we cosset them and make them less resilient.

The constant drip drip both in school and at home of success, ambition, making money, being the best you can be - this is over egged.

and then, the ludicrously easy accessibility of bizarre porn, class A drugs and cannabis that seems to be smoked like fags especially by teen boys.

Then there’s us, the parents - on our phones, working longer hours, extra marital affairs, cocaine use, too liberal or too controlling.

Just a few thoughts ...

@Crumbleandcake

I also think mental health is too much of a thing now.

It's talked about so much. There is no longer an attitude of getting on with it now and so much more "I can't work because I'm anxious"

Facebook posts of celebrating anxiety. It makes people wallow.

Again people using words they don't know the meaning of.

Mental health has always been a thing. Even when it didn't have a name. It's something we all have, just like physical health. Sometimes it's good,sometimes it's bad, sometimes it's something in the middle and it can tip over either way. Just like physical health.
And just like physical health, it being bad can be due to environmental or genetic factors or a mix of both.

Do we talk too much about broken limbs? About cancer? About diabetes?
Can we ever talk too much about them?

@Crumbleandcake

Call me a liar then. I'm quite prone to low mood and anxiety.

I went through 7 years of being unable to concieve and struggled to get out of bed some days. I lost a baby after 3 years of trying for one. I had very dark days.

I had to pay my mortgage though and I had to maintain a career I had worked years to build so I forced myself to get up on days I couldn't see any light in the world.

Some days I cried none stop for hours at a time.

I valued being able to talk about it and that there was no shame in feeling low.

So it’s ok for you to talk about your feelings and anxiety but not anyone else as they “use it as an excuse” ?
Do you even hear yourself ? I tried to kill myself twice in my teens , second time I very nearly managed it , friend of mine hung herself at 17 , best friends’ mum gassed herself in her car and now I have a son with severe depression.. but thankfully he feels he can talk to me as it’s not something to be ashamed of anymore, I didn’t have that but I’m SO glad that people feel they can talk openly as that alone helps to save lives . I’m so sorry that annoys you but I’m incredibly glad people like you are in the minority.

I do think mental illness falls into a different category to physical illness. Broken bones, for example, have a very definite respite and recovery period and generally does not impact on behaviour so there is a very obvious line there.

With mental health, it's more blurred and it's hard to separate the behaviour from personality and the way it can potentially impact on loved ones' wellbeing is still stigmatized. When one gets sick, we all do, albeit in different ways.

There are unhealthy ways of approaching and talking about mental health, too, which is understandable when said person is unwell so judgement is skewed