Stop asking if I’m Mrs or Miss

[catspyjamas123]

I just hate it when companies ask if I’m Mrs or Miss - what business is it whether I’m married or not? I’ve politely put up with it for years but it makes me fume. They don’t ask men if they are married. Even worse, some companies assume I am a Mrs. I am NOT. I am very happily divorced and definitely a Ms. Are they being unreasonable? Vote yes if it’s a completely unnecessary intrusion into your home life. Vote no if it’s quite alright to all live in a 1950s nightmare!

I'm Mrs and it doesn't bother me. However, it seems to blow some people's minds? I'm 30, been married for almost 5 years but I've been told a lot that I look/sound a lot younger than I am so maybe that's where the confusion comes in.

I bought a car last week and the salesman was taking my details:

Him: "Miss or Ms?"
Me: "Mrs."
Him: "What?"
Me: "Mrs."
Him: "Mrs?"
Me: "...Yes."

The worst was when I was accosted by a utilities salesman on the street during my lunch break last year:

Him: "Excuse me, love, can I ask who provides your gas and electricity?"
Me (trying to fob him off): "I'm not sure, I didn't set the account up."
Him: "Oh, of course - parents?"
Me: "No, husband."
Him: "Wow, okay, nice one!"

Am I that fucking hideous it's a shock someone would marry me??

I think YABU.

You are not unreasonable to want there to be a Mr equivalent that does not indicate your marital status. I support this as well, and would rather it was age related like Miss for a child and Mrs for and adult or something like that.

YANBU to be angry at customer service staff for asking the question. They just don't want to get it wrong, and some women do mind very much if they're not referred to as Mrs or whatever.

@catspyjamas123

I believe in France everyone female is Madame, in Germany all women are Frau and in Spain all women are Senora. Much more sensible. I am not Mrs Catspyjamas though - that is my mother.

I’m not sure that’s true, or why do they have the words mademoiselle, fraulein and senorita?

@catspyjamas123

It’s not customer relations when you begin a business conversation by asking if someone is the chattel of a man or not. It’s insulting.

Are you serious? Plenty of divorced women use Mrs, for a start. Are they just supposed to assume we are all Ms, whether we want to be or not? I actually think this thread is a wind-up.

Oh wait, I'm just looking at my company's customer database now, and it turns out that the box I'd always assumed was marked "Title" is actually labelled "is the customer the chattel of a man, we really need to know". You were right all along! It's going to make the mailmerges look a bit weird next time we do a print run, though.

I just say 'pick what you like' but obviously that's annoying so then I just say Ms.
I'd be happy with no title just first name surname tbh

@AnathemaPulsifer for girls (as opposed to women).

I think mademoiselle, fraulein and senorita are antiquated now and only used for children.

I hate Miss and Mrs, it's so old fashioned and unecessary in the modern world where women are actual human beings and supposedly equal to men. I'll still be Ms even if I get married.

@catspyjamas123

It’s not customer relations when you begin a business conversation by asking if someone is the chattel of a man or not. It’s insulting.

FFS

In my language we have the same mr/mrs/ms (as Germans and French) we have had a more radical approach to this for several decades, we simply don't use it . On a rare occasion the bank may send a letter using it, but otherwise you only see it if it's from abroad.

I couldn't honestly get so uptight and upset about something so trivial.

YABU.

And why women get married and then get all weird and huffy when people call them MRS.

WTF is THAT about?

I've used Ms for about 25 years. Don't like the sound of either Miss (spinster, or young and silly) or Mrs (old or dependent on the bloke you're named after).

I’m not blaming the customer relations staff. I am blaming the software or executive who created this question. It’s totally antiquated. I do actually find it insulting when people wrongly address me as Mrs but I tend not to make a fuss about it.

Nobody should be defined by their marital status.

@catspyjamas123

It’s not customer relations when you begin a business conversation by asking if someone is the chattel of a man or not. It’s insulting.

Which company does that?

I’m married and have never referred to myself as Mrs, but then I also didn’t change my last name. I suspect the two tend to go hand in hand.

I will be a Ms until the bitter end!

Similar thinking to @SuperbGorgonzola - I don't think you should necessarily be cross with those asking you - after all, they are probably just completing a standard form with mandatory response fields, rather than wishing to understand whether or not you are under male ownership. The system itself is outdated, unnecessary, discriminatory - I'd direct your anger in that direction instead.

'Miss or Mrs?'
'Why?'
'I've got to tick a box'
'Do you have a box that says Lady?'
'Yes'
'Well tick that one.'

Find out which doctorate is the easiest to gain and get it, then when anyone asks you, you can say simply.. No I'm Dr actually, Dr catspyjammies.. That will shut them up

"Mrs or Miss?"
"Neither. Ms please."

Done.

I use my maiden name and my married name and I’m widowed. I hate it

Why does mrs mean you are dependent on the bloke you married thats just you thinking in an old fashioned way
It really doesn't matter put what you like on a form there is a lot more important things in the works that need changing rather than miss/ ms / mrs

I don't really care how a random businesses refers to me - at least they are being polite and asking what your preference is? Again, just a personal choice but I don't want to be a Ms. I'm very happy to be a Mrs. Each to their own, and I'm glad we have a choice in what our titles are.

@Whatisapension every company which asks staff to ask “Is that Mrs or Miss” does it. Men just don’t get asked. It is irritating. I am a human being and surprisingly I am capable of buying a car or a house or setting up an electricity account all on my own without a husband to stand by and hold my hand.

** world not works
But really what a thing to get annoyed about

Can you imagine if they didn't ask? Then there would be people on here going can you believe this company called me Miss/Mrs /Ms. How dare they call me that.
Being asked how you want to be addressed is about as far away from being rude as possible.