Stop asking if I’m Mrs or Miss

[catspyjamas123]

I just hate it when companies ask if I’m Mrs or Miss - what business is it whether I’m married or not? I’ve politely put up with it for years but it makes me fume. They don’t ask men if they are married. Even worse, some companies assume I am a Mrs. I am NOT. I am very happily divorced and definitely a Ms. Are they being unreasonable? Vote yes if it’s a completely unnecessary intrusion into your home life. Vote no if it’s quite alright to all live in a 1950s nightmare!

Agree with you, OP. It doesn't matter whether I'm Rev., Prof.,Dr.,Mrs, Miss or other - my name remains the same. The title I use has no bearing on whether I buy something or not. Other than to make me take my custom elsewhere when people keep on about it.

I’m Mrs and proud of it, after 17 years of marriage. But it’s no one’s business but mine. It’s ridiculous, when men are only ever known as Mr.

I do wish more places would change their forms and systems so this type of information was collected less.

It just feels like unneeded data collection to go beyond names and/or 'what would you like to be called' most of the time, it's awkward for staff (some people get really irate about people not being mind readers on this), and there are so many ideas around what people 'should' do that it's more of a faff than it's worth. Having dealt with someone who felt the need to bring the manager in because she was convinced it was illegal for me to use Ms. while married (I was asked what I'd prefer and she made a big thing about it, I really don't care that much and would have been fine with any or no title), it seemed a lot of time for somewhere that didn't really need that information.

Actually, what do gay couples call themselves - whether married or civil partners?

My cousin and her wife are Mrs & Mrs Clark-Davis (not actual names, but they hyphenated both names in the order they flow best). They WANT to be identified as married. A lot of people battled quite hard for the rights of gay couples to actually get married so it’s quite natural that they want to be identified as such.

I got married just a few years ago. As a more mature lady, and having lived with my surname for so long, I didn't want to change to Mrs X. For ease of travel, I have now changed my passport to Mrs and also one of my Bank Accounts. Everything else has stayed as Miss X, because I love the name.

You're being ridiculous. Some companies like mine offer compensation, you ccsnt send some2a cheque or bill without the full name can you. Also its nice to ask for the full name as not everyone likes being addressed by their first name..

@catspyjamas123

I believe in France everyone female is Madame, in Germany all women are Frau and in Spain all women are Senora. Much more sensible. I am not Mrs Catspyjamas though - that is my mother.

An elderly Scottish neighbour used to always address me simply as Mistress. Shame thats gone out of fashion :=}

I'd far sooner be Mistress than Muz , Miss, or Missis.

I didn’t want to be called Mrs, even when I was one. Didn’t change my name either. Now I live in Germany it is much simpler, adult women are just Frau, like men are just Herr. You would never call an adult woman Fräulein these days, it would be downright rude.

I'm not that fussed. I guess people are being polite. I've always been ms. I do think it's weird that some people these days don't seem to have heard of it though.

I'm married. I prefer to be addressed as Mrs. That is my preference; it doesn't mean I have any expectations of how anyone else would prefer to be addressed. But it's nice that people are polite enough to ask what I prefer, but I tell them if they make the wrong decision for me.

I also have a name that people like to shorten. I prefer to use all of it. Again, it's nice to be asked.

And I'm not DH's chattel. I don't see marriage like that at all. I wouldn't like mine to be like that.

@puffinkoala Depends I guess, the gay women I know who are married all use Mrs and they have all changed to one of the couples surnames. Men don’t have a different title from Mr (unless it is a gained/inherited one) so we just stay as Mr. So we’ll just be Mr and Mr SJT, although he’ll eventually be Dr SJT.

@AGeeseGoose because some customers will complain if the envelope says "Jane Smith" instead of "Mrs J Smith". Generally older people, but this is the convention they were brought up with and the business does not want to receive complaints. I got a complaint from my own (lovely) great-aunt once for addressing an envelope to her as "Jane Smith"!
You'll find that businesses with an older clientele will definitely ask for titles, whereas a more fashionable, online offering you sign up for might just ask for your first name, as they'll just start their emails "Hi Jane".
It's as prosaic as that.

This drives me nuts, too.

Mr
Mrs
Miss
Ms

It just doesn't make sense!

I once had a pushy neighbour ask me my name. After I had told her she asked my surname. Again I told her. She offered me no information about herself but rudely went on to demand "Is that Mrs or Miss?" I told her "Neither, its Dr" and walked off.

Its a drop down menu. I have to pick one. You can't get any further if you don't. If I pick one at random and get it wrong you will bitch and moan about that too. Is it really a big deal?

Say you're Lady, Rev, Dr or Prof.

I get hacked off when referred to as miss. I'm mrs, married and proud to be married, I don't like being referred to as miss.

It doesn't bother me at all but I hate the title Ms.

I've done lots of call centre work and always just ask people which title they use. It works most of the time but you do sometimes get some people who have no idea what you mean!

I was very sad on the day I was referred to as Madame in France... Goodbye to my youthful days of being a carefree Mademoiselle, sigh!

In terms of Miss, Ms, Mrs - I use Miss if needed (am unmarried), get referred to as both Miss and Mrs but don't really care. Fairly sure the assumption that I'm someone's chattel is getting lost in the mists of time (perhaps not quickly enough on a wider scale but certainly in my work and social circle...)

I much prefer the French way of doing things where you are a Miss (Mademoiselle) until 18 (I think) and become Mrs (Madame) when you are an adult.

Marriage has no bearing on it.

Is it really a big deal?

Yes, I think it is. I dislike the idea that women are routinely referred to and categorised on the basis of their sexual status in a way men are not.

I don't mind if you don't wish to say, that's completely your, but I do not want to be forced to be Ms.

Just sat Dr! 😳😳

I wonder if there are any men that would choose to change their title on marriage if they could?

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