Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up.

[Viv0321]

I am Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old.

I feel there is only a short amount of time to fit in things with DC before they grow up and feel that everything is ‘rushed’ to fit things in.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

AIBU?

@LondonJax

I’d forgotten about cutting up the Christmas cards with pinking shears, Thankyou!

Op we did most of those things and absolutely loved them!.

However growing up I didn't!.
We had different things, a larger house in a beautiful village... A real fire.. Not many Xmas presents really... Lovely ones....
Things are off set, balanced.. I have enjoyed doing All these Xmas things with the dc... Immensely but we would have had a nice time without them... I'm really hoping to do the real lapland however...

Xmas is about lighting... Low lighting.. Music.. Xmassy films... Cosy feelings... Ginger biscuits.... Sparkles and glistening things... Candles..

Friend of mine has a tradition where they take a tour in their car of all the best local lights. They take special snacks and a flask of hot chocolate and all wear pajamas and dressing gowns with added blankets

My two are early 20s now and they still love all that stuff.
They even sleep in the same room on Christmas Eve, so they can wake up together and do their stockings!

I haven't RTFT but good god you got some shitty responses at the start, I hope they improved.

YANBU at all OP, those things are popular for a reason and it's understandable that you don't want to miss out while DC are young and before you get to the McDonalds Christmas advert stage of parenting.

I grew up in a working class family in the 80's and I think I can recall visiting a rather half arsed Santa's grotto twice. Never did any of the stuff you mentioned and I have great memories - mainly around seeing my family enjoy themselves or stupid traditions (my sister, brother and I used to write insults to each other on our Christmas decorations box). Never felt I missed out, despite some families having a more elaborate time than us. My family didn't do a lot with us or take us anywhere in general, and yes I feel compelled to do more with my kids when time and funds allow, but I never felt deprived in any way and I still feel incredibly luck to have had such a happy childhood.

Your plans sound lovely, but you don't need to do paid activities to make memories - just do something unusual or create some new traditions - we will make chocolates or biscuits each year and make salt dough decorations - cheap and very christmas cheerful!

YABU - How many years do you think lockdown is going to last?

Thanks again everyone who has replied.

93% UABU

Op I get it , this year everything being cancelled is truely and it does make you feel like your missing it for your children , we do Xmas themed outings for the whole of December (& usually the last week of November) we do 2 pantomimes every year , go ice skating, visit Father Christmas, have breakfast with Father Christmas & do really what ever festive fun event I can find , I LOVE Christmas and have lots of lovely traditions that I’m hoping will continue for years I don’t see it as a race against time .. my oldest is 12 in March and honestly still loves all this stuff & I can’t see even teens turning down Lapland so don’t panic that you have too much to fit in , I’m looking into Christmas things to do at home this year due to the current situation, we will be having a hot chocolate making station , doing loads of Xmas baking & will be making a gingerbread house , Christmas crafts will be in abundance and we will be doing lots of walks around national trust grounds and drinking soup from a flask for a winter picnic , we will be watching Xmas films & generally spending time together .. you don’t really need the extra faff to make Xmas special x

@TimetohittheroadJack

My children are a bit older and we have done most of these activities. Most are actually a bit crap.

For example:
‘Garden centre grotto’ fucking freezing, queues, crying children as they are cold and also want some piece of light up tat. 9.95 entrance fee for adults (oh you get a ‘free mince pie’). After waiting an hour in the queue, kids won’t even look at Santa, and by that point I just want to get back in the car and heat up before someone has a melt down.

Ice skating : ok if your children are 7 or 8 and either have an adult each or can skate. Don’t attempt with toddlers, especially if you have more children than adults.

Lodge in forest. Fucking freezing.l, dark at 4 pm, mud, constant fighting to get gloves on, Constant stressed your child will try and throw themselves into the lovely romantic open fire. No Netflix so reduced to watching whatever dvd you can find.

Pantomimes - ok it you can stomach the 25 odd quid each. And then sit in a tiny seat holding everyone’s hat jacket gloves jumper, while dishing out sweets.

Woodland walks with torches. Wet, cold and someone will fall and bang there head.

Your a bundle of joy 😂 ! i have done all these things and had a great time! We have a niace garden center 20mins away we go to and it has an expensive grotto with real reindeer the cost is a bit 😒 but its actually really good and never more than 20 minute wait and you walk though an elaborate winter wonderland to get to Santa while you wait & they do lovely cakes and coffee , we’ve been in a forest lodge in December (not actually Xmas day as we like to be home ideally) twice now we had a tree house with a log burner and was really magical! I wasn’t at all cold in the lodge and I’m an a chilly person ...we go for a woodland night walk round a huge estate near us they light everything up and have it really festive and beautiful they serve hot drinks and snacks at the end of the walk to warm everyone up and do caroling it’s lovely! I agree about the ice skating toddlers though & it’s pretty grateing if you have a emotional child & they fall over then that’s your trip shat on 🤣🤣🤣🤣 x

You seem to be over reacting a bit. Why the sudden panic?

What did you do last year?

You dont need to squeeze it all in, in one year. There is also a lot of commercialism making you feel like you need to do it all but you dont.

This year will probably be a bit different for everyone.

An outside activity will probably be ok this year.

But you can do simple things like the tree and make home made decorations and cookies etc.

Isnt the real meaning of Christmas and sharing family time more important than the hype? And to teach your kids that to give is better than to get.

Mine are 7 and 5. We book Christmassy days out. theme parks ect where we see Santa. Usually
Book two different days in December. have booked more in the past but seeing Santa three times seemed excessive. Never done a Christmas lodge trip away or Lapland (although I'd love to do Lapland but don't think I can justify the price.)
I do feel a little pressure. it looks like this years activities will be cancelled, so I will maybe have one more year of the oldest believing (hopefully two) and then it won't be the same the magic will be gone for him. il still do the days out though plus pantos and Christmas markets ect as they are for any age anyway.

My point fromthebirdsnest is that these activities are ‘sold’ as magical but the reality is that a little different. It’s winter, it’s cold and wet outside which makes everything more challenging.

I’m not really a misery guts 😳, but I often used to find myself at an activity, 20-50 quid lighter thinking we should have just stayed home and watched a film!

I have never done any of those things with my adult dcs. You don't have to spend shit loads of money on "Xmas experiences".

Never done any of these things. Maybe rocked up to a garden centre or something.

The is everyone

Dropping back in to say I was taken to see Father Christmas in a local department store every year I believed in him. And what do I remember of it?

The grotto? The 'fairy' helpers? Father Christmas? The gift I got there?

Nope. I remember standing outside the entrance to the store in the cold for what seems like hours!

I sstill think these Christmas 'treats' are more for parents' memories than the children's.

Thank you

I don't remember much about Christmas as a child other than the nice smells and people at dinner. I know that sounds a bit sentimental which I am definitely not!! Oh my one residing memory is getting a skate board in the early 80s and going out to try it out ripping my special Xmas dress to shreds in the process. All before grandparents and aunts and uncles arrived, my dishevelled hair and dress made for great photos 40 odd years down the line 😊

I should have pointed out we had loads of trips out, always went to see light switch ons and Santa's grotto and trails. They are just a muddle of memories it's the smells and little traditions I've carried on to my own children give me the warm and fuzzies.

Lapland is nice for all ages I think.
Maybe take them to Lapland UK next year?
It's nice to do some Christmassy things with little ones. Santa visit being top of the list.
We were meant to be doing our annual woodland walk but got cancelled due to lockdown 2.0 gutted.

So you do one activity per year and hey presto by the time they’re mid teens they’ll have done all the things you mention...

Really not worth panicking over.

Totally agree with others - focus on the small, cosy, moments of togetherness that are simple and easy to achieve at home, in the main. Those simple traditions will be remembered, and will become ever more meaningful because they’ll be built into the fabric of Christmases all through the years.

I’m Danish. We are generally mad about Christmas. December is the Christmas month and most people have many traditions that they (we) observe throughout December, some of which are common to pretty much everyone, and others will be specific things that each family have developed over the years.

They are not difficult to do. Here’s a selection of just a few to get you started

*Advent - each of the 4 Sundays leading up to Christmas is marked with lighting an advent candle (one for each week), having a drink and/or a treat, and sometimes opening a very small gift
*Daily calendar of Christmas themed surprises: home-based activities/treats/baking (these calendars are usually handmade - often just some fabric bags or small stockings or little packages wrapped in paper, secured to a string or branch and hung on the wall. The children can take turns opening them daily)
*A calendar candle is lit every morning during breakfast or every evening during dinner, counting down the days
*Chocolate advent calendar (of course!) or one of the paper ones that open to show a Christmas scene, or, if you’re willing to spend a bit more, a toy calendar each such as Lego (or whatever)
*Getting to pick one new bauble or ornament each for the tree
*Unpacking the decorations, helping to put them up
*Writing and posting (or delivering) cards
*Making a gingerbread house
*A family Christmas Eve box - new pyjamas, a Christmas book, a DVD to watch, hot chocolate with a candy cane to stir into it, empty stockings to hang on the fireplace or the door handle of their room before they go to bed

There are loads more.

Thank you for the suggestions