Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up.

[Viv0321]

I am Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old.

I feel there is only a short amount of time to fit in things with DC before they grow up and feel that everything is ‘rushed’ to fit things in.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

AIBU?

Missing out on what? If you are chock a block doing all the things you mentioned there will be less time for other things. How about looking to nature? Find out what all the animals and birds are doing in the season and look out for this. You can identify your neighbourhood robin, blackbird, pigeon, gulls, crows, geese, squirrels, foxes etc and read stories about them. Put food out for them. What about making your own 'light trail' with solar garden lights? What about doing some astronomy? Looking up all the constellations and reading the myth and legends about them? What about looking up local history and going on historical walks?

Oh grow up OP. Seriously though, have a good look at your life, do you really believe your children will be genuinely musing out? Really? I'd venture to suggest that you need to re-examine your priorities if so.

I'm saddened by the mean responses here. The OP wants to plan some fun for her kids and PPs are acting as though there can be no other reason for this than showing off on Instagram! It's a shame those posters can't imagine wanting to organise enjoyable activities for their own sake.

We do winter lights and our local garden centre goes all out for Christmas which is fun even if you don't go and see Santa etc as mine love looking at all the decorations and displays etc. They also really enjoy making Christmas presents for people which is going to be even more fun this year as we haven't seen some of them for some time!! Things like ice skating and carolling are fun with older children though so focus on the things they might grow out of and save the travelling etc maybe for when they are older.

And see if you can join in some Zoom sing a longs / services if carols are your sort of thing.

@Viv0321 I think you need to step back and look at what your kids would actually enjoy rather than thinking these are the things they should want to do.

My eldest never really did the whole Santa thing and even now isn't really fussed on Christmas at all as he finds it overwhelming whereas my youngest (7 year old) just loves all the little things about it.

Over the years we've booked events, trips and activities but the best ones were Spontaneous rather than for fear of missing out.

Christmas doesn't end when they stop believing in Santa so you've got years to fit everything in 🎅

My children are a bit older and we have done most of these activities. Most are actually a bit crap.

For example:
‘Garden centre grotto’ fucking freezing, queues, crying children as they are cold and also want some piece of light up tat. 9.95 entrance fee for adults (oh you get a ‘free mince pie’). After waiting an hour in the queue, kids won’t even look at Santa, and by that point I just want to get back in the car and heat up before someone has a melt down.

Ice skating : ok if your children are 7 or 8 and either have an adult each or can skate. Don’t attempt with toddlers, especially if you have more children than adults.

Lodge in forest. Fucking freezing.l, dark at 4 pm, mud, constant fighting to get gloves on, Constant stressed your child will try and throw themselves into the lovely romantic open fire. No Netflix so reduced to watching whatever dvd you can find.

Pantomimes - ok it you can stomach the 25 odd quid each. And then sit in a tiny seat holding everyone’s hat jacket gloves jumper, while dishing out sweets.

Woodland walks with torches. Wet, cold and someone will fall and bang there head.

OP isn’t this your third post about this?

Please stop worrying. They’ll have fun. Children are people too. We have good days, bad days, days we feel like doing stuff, days we don’t. Things can’t be perfect. Don’t set yourself madly impossible standards.

@PersonaNonGarter

This sounds like misplaced anxiety transferred from something else.

Also wondering this but there’s so much commercial fuss around Christmas, it could be Christmas stress.

Your list sounds like Christmas hell . Mine are older now but when they where little they enjoyed watching tne local towns light switch on and fireworks. The local market santa who beat all the more exoensuvery ant's no contest, plus no queue. Making decorations at home. Helping bake. Putting out Mince pies for santa. Seeing family and exchanging gifts. Tne most expensive thing on that list (bar presents) was the £2 market santa.my kids remember their early Christmases as being magical and fun, they certainly didn't need the commercial expensive outings crap .

Took dd to Lapland last year - we had a brilliant time but actually the nest thing was whizzing down the slopes in a sled ,not seeing Santa. Would go again just for that!!

OP, you just need to do want you want to do and what you can afford to do. Your kids aren't "missing out" if they don't do certain things, because they won't be the only ones not doing them.

I have never taken DD on a Xmas train, or to a garden centre (well not a big one for Santa). We could not afford Lapland. We could not afford a Xmas holiday.

We have done

Santa at local town/village fayres
School Christmas Fayre
Carols round the town tree on Christmas Eve
Panto on Christmas Eve (last year first time and this year cancelled).
I read "The Night Before Christmas" to DD every Christmas Eve.

I have not gone down the road of Christmas Eve boxes and Elf on Shelf and by DD is in no way affected by the lack of them......

This year is obviously very limited, but just make a plan for next year and do a couple of things then .

I forgot Light Switch on at the nearest town, and the Christmas Tree Festival, but we have only been a couple of times, we don't go every year. I can't stand the crowds and not being able to park anywhere.

Have you not read any of the replies OP? Many people have addressed the ‘missing out’ thing.

OP, you are being ridiculous. Your children are clearly not missing out on anything. All of us have limited time and limited resources, and have to make choices on what things to do and what not to do.

You may have FOMO. Please don't pass it on to your children.

Little bit unreasonable to panic, but if this is what is important to you then I can see why it might make you a little sad... children are children for such a short time.

For what it is worth, as a child, my parents did all of the things you mentioned with my sister and I... but the things I treasure the most are the Christmas Days with my entire UK based family, the silly family games, the routines we had for Christmas Day, our stockings (which I still have now, at the age of 30) and nicking the pigs and blankets before we had lunch.

Teach your children that it is about more than things, that being with people you love is the most important thing. And don't worry, because I am 30, and I still go to Longleat each year with my parents (they'll always be your kids)

No thanks to social media and the Hashtag-Making-Memories culture. Honestly.

Seriously, Op, you children don't need any of it to make their childhoods memorable. Give yourself a break.

Not christmas no but holiday experiences yes. My are 15 and 17 and I'm conscious that as soon as the 17 year old is at Uni that will be it. We've got a trip to Moscow and St Petersburg booked for next July and praying it will go ahead at it is probably the last time we all go away together. I want more time to experience places and things with them and not just christmas.

@TimetohittheroadJack

My children are a bit older and we have done most of these activities. Most are actually a bit crap.

For example:
‘Garden centre grotto’ fucking freezing, queues, crying children as they are cold and also want some piece of light up tat. 9.95 entrance fee for adults (oh you get a ‘free mince pie’). After waiting an hour in the queue, kids won’t even look at Santa, and by that point I just want to get back in the car and heat up before someone has a melt down.

Ice skating : ok if your children are 7 or 8 and either have an adult each or can skate. Don’t attempt with toddlers, especially if you have more children than adults.

Lodge in forest. Fucking freezing.l, dark at 4 pm, mud, constant fighting to get gloves on, Constant stressed your child will try and throw themselves into the lovely romantic open fire. No Netflix so reduced to watching whatever dvd you can find.

Pantomimes - ok it you can stomach the 25 odd quid each. And then sit in a tiny seat holding everyone’s hat jacket gloves jumper, while dishing out sweets.

Woodland walks with torches. Wet, cold and someone will fall and bang there head.

the patomime is just shy £40pp this year - pretty shocking when I think we can spend that £150+ on other things

I don't care what people say, some of MY best memories are what you judge expensive outings, and my own kids had a blast.

If they had been miserable, we wouldn't bother every year!

Grotto: if you chose the right one, there's no such thing as 1 hour queue, you go straight in and it's part of a great day out. Kids love it.

Ice skating: yes, that can wait, even with penguins. We have small ice rink around here, they are more than enough as you have a very short time on them.

Lodge in forest: amazing, kids as excited as staying over in a tree house.
None of my kids has ever tried to thrown themselves in the fire, even at home
So much to do during the day, when it gets darker it's lovely to come back inside and do more chillout things. Nothing wrong with watching a movie together then!

Panto: it's luck, but when they are funny, it's a great couple of hours for everybody. Better than the cinema - but yes, they are pricey!

Also we saw santa at his 'real' grotto on weekend holiday to the Alps with our DS, it was on the top of a mountain that took hours to get to and was so cold I swore my toes would snap off dispite use wearing full snow gear.

While the holiday was interesting standing knee deep in real snow isnt that fun, we have only done it once in 12 years and it was actually November not December that we went.

the patomime is just shy £40pp this year - pretty shocking when I think we can spend that £150+ on other things

it's a business, with social distancing and fewer customers, it makes sense. Still money very well spent.

You tend to find cheaper seats if you don't stick to the centre, not ideal but cheaper.

Some adults (and kids) love opera and theatre. Some outings are not cheap. Nothing wrong or tacky there!

@PeggyPorschen

the patomime is just shy £40pp this year - pretty shocking when I think we can spend that £150+ on other things

it's a business, with social distancing and fewer customers, it makes sense. Still money very well spent.

You tend to find cheaper seats if you don't stick to the centre, not ideal but cheaper.

Some adults (and kids) love opera and theatre. Some outings are not cheap. Nothing wrong or tacky there!

All seats are the same price (weather front row stalls, grand circle or right up in the rafters) and it has nothing to do with distancing because the national lottery charity paid the theater to buy out half the seats so everything could be distanced which was suppose to keep the price down.

Mine wont be doing any of those things as I can't afford it and I never did any of those things and I never missed out. Christmas is still my favourite holiday and I have many cherished memories of spending time with my family.

Ice skating is best for older children. There was a great one in our city the last few years outdoors and indoor bit where you could get good and drink all done up beautifully. Was a lovely place for early teens to hang out we actually got dd 1 membership. Not on this year 🙁

@I8toys

Not christmas no but holiday experiences yes. My are 15 and 17 and I'm conscious that as soon as the 17 year old is at Uni that will be it. We've got a trip to Moscow and St Petersburg booked for next July and praying it will go ahead at it is probably the last time we all go away together. I want more time to experience places and things with them and not just christmas.

My eldest is 15 - I'd like to do at least one holiday abroad -only done UK so far -with all of them and a trip to a London location she'd love.

Covid kind of mess things up - but DH was still going on holiday abroad with his parents even once he was at University so there may be more time than you think.

I think keeping an eye on time is probably a good thing my kids DGP who suddenly wanted to do school christmas plays couple of years after they retired but only had one in last year of primary and their secondary does nothing for Christmas - that was a bit galling as I'd spent years having to go to mulitple different plays for years for different year and year groupings and being on family member there or few years juggling with DH and childcare.

They also suddenly wanted to do pantos - we've done odd ones but teens tend not to want to do those a family unless there's an established tradition which we hadn't got.

I also think at 7 you've got time OP - space things out and be picky don't assume you have to do everything and certainly not in one or every year.