Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up.

[Viv0321]

I am Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old.

I feel there is only a short amount of time to fit in things with DC before they grow up and feel that everything is ‘rushed’ to fit things in.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

AIBU?

When my children were young, I used to take them to see Father Christmas in big stores. They enjoyed it at the time, but I'm pretty sure they don't remember it now. I loved Christmas as a child, but the only reason I know I saw Father Christmas is because I've seen a photograph. When my children talk about their Christmas memories they remember the time the fairies put up the Christmas decorations overnight and left me a note saying they knew I'd been too tired to do it with the children the night before(!!) , They remember me reading "Twas the Night before Christmas" every Christmas Eve , and having tea with candles and fairy lights. These little traditions are far more important than you realise, and are the things that your children will love and treasure. My husband and I even have our own tradition now, and we're in our seventies. We watch Polar Express every Christmas Eve, with just the fairy lights on the tree to light the room.

Aw OP, I wonder if the panic is partly triggered by noticing your children getting bigger and time passing combined with normal life being on hold at the moment?

I agree lots of great things to do at their age - making snowflake decorations (lots of free templates online), making gingerbread people/houses, going for a walk to gather greenery and make a Garland or wreath, make a list of Christmas films to watch together in December, read some Christmas stories, put on a show for relatives (my Nan loved hearing the kids singing the songs they had learned in school), delivering cards and looking at the decorations etc etc.

We went to a festive Centre Parcs once in November. The fireworks were fab but the “ice” skating was on white plastic chopping board material but the photos looked great.

nemeton I live near a garden centre which is part of a large chain. Nowadays you have to fight through the gift shop, cafe (always a queue) , food store etc to get to the plants. I suspect 80% of their customers don't go near the plants!

@lazylinguist

YAB massively U, as 99% of people on your survey confirm. You don't need to do all that show-offy, Insta-worthy #makingmemories bollocks in order to give your children a lovely Christmas. And what are you on about 'before it's too late'? They're only 7! Panicking about fitting in x amount of 'magical experiences ' is just ridiculous. Get a grip!

clearly not doing anything at all make some posters so permanently bitter it's worth doing "something" and enjoy a bit of the magic of Christmas with young children...

You are missing a trick lazylinguist, all these activities are lovely and a pleasure for the entire family, parents included. But we get that for some people happy moments are translated as "show off", for the rest of us they are just...life?

Will your DC stop growing into adults if they don't have these things?
(They don't remember them anyway!)

@Enough4me

Will your DC stop growing into adults if they don't have these things? (They don't remember them anyway!)

why always the need for a competition to the bottom though?

Yes kids can grow into adults without days out, without holidays, without sleepover, without parties, after school clubs..

You don't decide to have kids to just provide the bare minimum, food shelter and education. Hasn't the lockdowns shown how a very basic life is just shit frankly? Oh we all survive, but it's mindnumpingly boring.

My cousin had very little money when her children were small, so Christmas was difficult for her. But the children, now in their forties and fifties, still remember that the magic started when they woke on Christmas Day to fairy dust on the floor by their beds. The Christmas Fairy had been to tell them that Father Christmas had left their stockings in the living room (they were light sleepers, and it's amazing how noisy a full stocking can be!)

My favourite christmas memories are decorating the tree with the family, lots of attention and playing games with my mum, listening to the christmas songs on the radio together, taking a walk together and then having a hot cocoa together at home while getting warm again. It was the feeling of togetherness that was so nice. It had nothing to do with the stacks of presents or money being spent. If you can put your energy into that then you're doing fine.

You are a marketing teams dream

This

I have done a fair few of those with my kids and yes they loved them (as did I) but equally they love hot chocolate at home with a Christmas movie, decorating the house to Christmas songs, baking , choosing a Christmas decoration, driving around to see the local Christmas lights....

I'm with you Op! I love all that sort of stuff and I know my DC won't be interested in a few years so I've been doing loads since they were born.

I read someone calling it "tacky" its not! For me, Christmas is the most magical time of the year and I love creating memories. I have fun/loving memories as a child and I want to re create that for them. Absolutely nothing wrong with that.

My two 12 and 14 and are Christmas mad! They have already raided our decorations and draped them all over their bedrooms, watching Christmas films, insisting we do things a particular way as “that’s what we e always done”. You may have years ahead of you with this so no rush!

I’m 43 and still do the panto and Xmas markets with my parents and sister (and out respective kids!)

Well, mine hated the idea of Father Xmas. Didn't want him in the house. Didn't care if it meant no presents although we reassured that this was not the case. Had to tread a fine line with respecting the myths and Saint accounts for other children especially when small! Managed ok though, thankfully!

But what I came to say is we still enjoyed Xmas and still do! I wish people would stop reserving their love for very young children. Your children don't stop being great as they grow older! You have produced a whole person! With their own ideas and a personality. People are lovely and interesting at all ages!

We never did any of those things except a local light trail in the past couple of years - and our sons are 30 and 28. They LOVE Christmas still, we all do, and their memories are around our family "rituals" - going out and buying a real Christmas tree and putting it up the week before Christmas, me putting out a bowl of "special" toffees on Christmas Eve (yes really - they still complain if I don't do it), going to the Carol Service on Christmas Eve or church on Christmas morning then Midnight Mass when they were older, getting out the Christmas books and reading bedtime stories from there every night in December, opening the traditional Advent Calender (no chocolate); watching cheesy films etc etc. Not a lodge or a garden centre in sight. btw they didn't believe in Santa Claus from around the age of 6 but that has never spoiled anything about their love of Christmas. Christmas is magic without spending loads of money! Our sons want their Christmasses to be just the same when they have children.

So one of my Xmas memories growing up was the deep clean of house b4 Christmas decs went up. The Christmas songs would be blasting away an we would sing an dance along whilst wiping doors down an things sounds absolutely boring but it was always fun an exciting as we knew we would wake up next day to all the decs up dad would put them up once we had gone to bed.

Have you got an old Granny, to ask how you can have a lovely Christmas, without all this nonsense you speak about.

1. Delete Facebook
2. Stop panicking
3. Do what works for you and your DC, screw what anyone else is doing. Have DC said they want to do something specific? If not, take the pressure off yourself and just enjoy spending unplanned time together and see what happens.

Not so much the big expensive experiences but I am sad that this is the first year DS will really get Christmas (he's nearly two) and there will be no father Christmas, no carols in the park, no Christmas party at nursery, hasn't seen his cousins for ages (because we actually abide by restrictions) along with no fireworks on the beach this year, no birthday celebration (not even family allowed to visit, yes we can do cake, balloons and a walk to the park, but that's pretty much every day at the moment), because of lockdown. It's just rubbish and yes I know he'll enjoy it next year, but they grow up so fast and I feel for him and the boring isolated year he's had so far.

@Cannotcope4223

Some absolute wankers sometimes on Mumsnet.... OP YANBU. I feel the same. I want to do the best for my little boy (same age) and feel like the last 7 years has flown! I think it feels like you only have the santa years while they believe to make things count but you sound like a great Mum, and that you want things to be great for them. As well as the big things it really is the small things too xx

^^ this I feel the same, you are not being unreasonable! Ignore the grinches!

Just because people put stuff on Facebook doesn’t make it true! My childhood contained none of the things on your list and my memories of Christmas are magical. Likewise, I’ve done none of them with my adult/teen children and they insist I don’t commercialise the younger children’s memories with forced gaiety.
We mostly love making paper chains, deep cleaning the house with Christmas Songs on, baking for the family and pets, making white pompom “snowballs” and then having huge snowball fight. The teens all go on about how they loved making the Christmas coasters each year out of Hama beads...something that has unexpectedly become a tradition.

Yabu! Some of those things aren't time limited, I'm seriously considering taking my adult kids to Lapland in fact (obviously not this year). Just the two of us did the light trails and went to the garden centre last week! Don't overthink these things - as they grow activities evolve - it's more gluwein than hot chocolate now.

@MaskingForIt

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

Crikey, someone’s fallen for the advertising!

What would you enjoy most? Christmas with a relaxed mother, pottering about the house, watching films, decorating the tree and being together, or Christmas with a stressed out mother who was trying to tick off various Insta-worthy experiences and was too busy #makingmemories to actually be present emotionally?

AIBU?

So much.

ESPECIALLY after months of lockdown and various isolation, nothing will stress out more than pottering about the house!

when you know you could have been enjoying various Christmas experience.

Lapland is amazing
Christmas activities are a dream to occupy the kids whilst parents relax and have fun too
Theme parks are a lot of fun
Light trails are beautiful

If the lockdown has proved one thing, it's that it really is worth getting out of the house and go on as many holiday and days out as you possibly can! You enjoy them as much as you think you can and you miss them so much when you can't join in.

I hate pottering about.

@Viv0321

Ice skating is great with teens, Christmas markets are great with young adults. Stop worrying - no need to spend money too, decorating the tree is a great way to make memories as is baking

My cherished memories are things like decorating the tree, building a gingerbread house, and the year dinner was ruined and we loved the last minute substitution so much it became a tradition.