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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up.

180 replies

Viv0321 · 17/11/2020 10:47

I am Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old.

I feel there is only a short amount of time to fit in things with DC before they grow up and feel that everything is ‘rushed’ to fit things in.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
unchienandalusia · 17/11/2020 16:25

The best memories aren't made OP. They are found. They happen.

I do despair at what Christmas has become and I'm 'only' 46.

LadyOfTheImprovisedBath · 17/11/2020 16:29

The best memories I have of Christmas is baking with my Mum - the DC have some memories with that with us- we also try and do board games and decorating house with DH.

It can be very odd things kids remember -so I'd worry less about "making memories" and think about what you'd all likely enjoy kids ages and your budget. Possible also leave FB and other social media - what's on there really isn't real life.

PeggyPorschen · 17/11/2020 16:32

@unchienandalusia

The best memories aren't made OP. They are found. They happen.

I do despair at what Christmas has become and I'm 'only' 46.

what's to despair about?

Plenty of activities to chose from to have fun family time. It's a positive thing! What's depressing is the pandemic and the fact that most things are cancelled this year.

Coldwinterahead1 · 17/11/2020 16:35

I grew up with 80's Christmas's they really were simple but I still think they were magical, so much so Im going retro this year. You don't need to do those things to make it special

thegcatsmother · 17/11/2020 16:39

One of my favourite memories of Christmas was queuing to get into Kings when I was about 10 or so. Dad and I drove up to Cambridge from Hants the day before Christmas Eve, stayed with his Mum, who worked Christmas Eve, and always queued to get into Kings. One year I got in, but Dad didn't. It was wonderful.

We would then go and see Nana at work, wait for her to finish, go back to hers, pack the car, get in it, and Dad would drive us back to Hants for Christmas.

Once I joined the church choir, and Nana retired, she came down by train, and we all went to Carols by Candellight and Midnight Mass instead.

More recently, it has been driving back to Devon and then ds's university to pick Mum and he up for Christmas near Brussels. We got to go to a couple of Christmas markets, but the road trip was fun, and it was lovely to know that ds would be home for a month.

VeganVeal · 17/11/2020 16:45

All sounds awful, its sounds like a Christmas for rich, precocious children, it really isnt what Christmas is all about

CorianderLord · 17/11/2020 16:54

My best memories are stockings, handing out presents, board games and my Nan getting drunk!

Chill out

OneLinePlease · 17/11/2020 16:57

My daughter is 7.

We've not done Lapland. Doubt we will.

But the only reason I'm a little worried this year is who knows when the Santa magic will change and the likelihood is that she won't see him this year.

Otherwise I'm quite looking forward to a lockdown Christmas forcing us to do the baking, crafts, decorating, singing that other years has often gotten pushed aside while we ice skate, go to light shows, theme parks etc etc.

I think 2020 will actually be a Christmas we look on happily.

RelaisBlu · 17/11/2020 16:57

I am panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old

Grin Grin Grin Grin

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 17/11/2020 16:59

DS15 has ASD and so our christmas has always been incredibly low-key. I\ve had my regrets about this over the years, as I LOVE Christmas but it is what it is. This year I suggested going away as 2020 has been so shit and DS was appalled. 'We can't go away at Christmas, it's not the same, what about our traditions, what about the special dinner and watching Elf and WHAT ABOUT SANTA CLAUS?'

There was then this pause as the so achingly cool teen realised what he'd said... but anyway, the moral of the story is even our tiny low-key Christmases have made memories and traditions all of their own for our wee family. Your DCs will be exactly the same.

cologne4711 · 17/11/2020 17:02

@Sargass0

Yeah cos parenting is a tick box exercise
It really is for some people, and if it isn't on social media it didn't happen, obvs,

But anyway if your dc is 7, you've still time, and Lapland will be marvellous whether they still believe in Father Christmas or not.

katy1213 · 17/11/2020 17:03

Is nothing an 'experience' unless it's commercialised?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/11/2020 17:03

@Viv0321

Thanks everyone I just want to make it special before it’s too late. I also forgot about ice skating and winterwonderlands.
There are lots of ways to make Christmas special, *@Viv0321*, which shouldn’t make you worry so much. Easy-to-achieve annual rituals like decorating the tree together, making and decorating biscuits, hot chocolate and a cheesy Christmas film on Christmas Eve - when our dses wee younger, we used to have a party on Christmas Eve (not possible this year, I know) to wear them out, and then when everyone had gone, we would light candles, put out the lights, and read “T’was The Night Before Christmas” together, and sing a Carol or two, to help them calm down before bed.

@Viv0321 - what your children will remember is you - the things they do with you, the little things - they will not look back at their childhoods and complain about the lack of garden centre Christmas experiences - I promise.

And it is not unusual to worry about stuff like this. When our dses were small, we couldn’t afford foreign holidays - even self catering UK holidays were rare - and over the years, I worried that I had let the children down because we had never taken them to Disneyworld/Disneyland Paris. I don’t know why my worries focussed on that particular destination, but they did.

The boys are all grown up now, and recently I asked them if they felt we had failed as parents because they had never met Mickey Mouse, and they said absolutely not. In fact they thought I was funny for asking.

So, in short - do the things you can, and try not to worry about the rest. It will all be fine, and you are doing a great job as a mum, regardless of any lack of Santa experiences or snow clad chalets, I promise.

FudgeBrownie2019 · 17/11/2020 17:08

DS2 is 9 and we were chatting the other week about his favourite Christmas traditions. I grew up in foster care so have always put myself under huge pressure to make Christmas perfect and lovely for my own DC. He sat in my car and told me his favourite thing about Christmas is that every Christmas morning he wakes up and there's a stocking at the end of his bed and he comes into our room, brings his stocking and we realise we have one too, and we all open them together with his older brother, showing off our satsumas, chocolate oranges and little wind-up bits of tat.

All these years I've been booking holidays in Lapland, taking them to see the tree at Rockefeller Centre and he just wants a stocking with plastic shite whilst he's smushed up in our bed with us.

As PP's have said, the things you think will be the best memories won't get a look in. It'll be the things you didn't even notice.

CorianderLord · 17/11/2020 17:09

Also doesn't sound too much

One year Lapland
One year British holiday
One year garden centre, winter wonderland and a light trail
One year a theme park and Santa experience

He won't even be 11 when you're done (if you can afford it)

Viv0321 · 17/11/2020 17:20

Thank you for some of the kind responses I have taken on board. Smile

OP posts:
Viv0321 · 17/11/2020 17:36

I think ‘panicking’ might have been the wrong wording.

OP posts:
BawJaws · 17/11/2020 17:41

What’s all this snuggling up for a movie shizz?

My kids start galloping about and sniffing around for food once they’ve scoffed everything. Sometimes they wander off.

We RARELY get through a movie!

FangsForTheMemory · 17/11/2020 17:43

If those are the biggest things you have to panic about in your life, you’re very fortunate. And btw, none of them are mandatory.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/11/2020 17:52

@BawJaws

What’s all this snuggling up for a movie shizz?

My kids start galloping about and sniffing around for food once they’ve scoffed everything. Sometimes they wander off.

We RARELY get through a movie!

Result! Make sure you’ve hidden the best snacks, and dig them out when the kids have wandered off!
MsTSwift · 17/11/2020 17:58

My happiest Christmas memories are playing board games or even Victorian type paper games with the whole extended family grandparents (now all long gone) aunts uncles and us kids. Magic. I loved that. Not a “winter wonderland” or monetised Christmas “experience” to be seen.

Littleposh · 17/11/2020 18:00

Enjoy your children instead of forcing them to do stuff that YOU want!!

Respectabitch · 17/11/2020 18:03

Um. What the fuck did I just read?

People on this site panic about the oddest imaginable things.

fastandthecurious · 17/11/2020 18:21

I think social media has a lot to answer for in this way. It's hard enough being a parent without worrying about taking them to Lapland and to lodges. I never did any of that stuff as a kid as my mum was single for a lot of my childhood and she didn't have the money for that. I still have the best memories of Christmas!
My younger brother is devastated that I'm not staying over my mums this Christmas Eve because we won't get to relive the traditions, not because we won't get to go to a lodge or to Lapland.

MsSquiz · 17/11/2020 18:32

While I don't think YABU in wanting to do festive things with the family, I do think YABU in trying to do all festive things.

Just pick a couple of things and do those, rather than trying to fit every possible festive outing or experience in - your kids will be knackered come Christmas Day.

My DD will be 1 this December and we are going to visit Santa at Fenwick (definitely more for me than her, as I did it as a little girl) and going to a local NT gardens to see their light installation walk through with BIL, SIL & their kids. I don't want to try and do everything, every run up to Christmas. It would lose its appeal pretty quickly.

Why not chill out about what you can't do, and focus on a few things that will make it extra special instead?