Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up.

[Viv0321]

I am Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old.

I feel there is only a short amount of time to fit in things with DC before they grow up and feel that everything is ‘rushed’ to fit things in.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

AIBU?

I asked my adult children a couple of years ago what was the most significant thing about childhood Christmases for them.
DC1 Decorating the house, real tree that we went out and selected, making decorations. Wreath and garland making. Stockings.
DC2 Christmas shopping with the lights and the markets, present wrapping with all the ribbons and different paper for each person. Carol singing
DC3 The special food, family meals and baking. Chocolate available 24/7

All in

I feel you op! Mine is 3 and really believes, last year we got up to all sorts. Sadly can't see any of that happening this year

KarlKennedy
Please don't stress! Your DS won't consciously remember this Christmas anyway. However, he will pick up on how you feel, so try to relax and find some fun in the limited things you can do. Simpke things can create happy memories and traditions as many PP have described above. Fingers crossed you can go to town for Xmas 2021!

These things are tacky and unnecessary. Fun happy times at home with family with hot chocolate and twinkling lights... this they will remember.

None of those are essential,but if you want to do them, you are nowhere near running out of time.
My dd still loves this kinds of thing at 18. She is really disappointed the garden centre winter wonderland has been cancelled this year and has made me promise to book it next year, even though she will be 19 and her brother 13!
So if your dc is 7, I reckon you have at least a decade to do them, so dont stress.

The last Xmas light trail we went in cost a fortune.

It was rammed to the gills. Queues for refreshments were u real- like 45 minutes.

I complained and got my money back. It was too busy to see or enjoy anything. Be careful not to waste your money on crap.

My 14 year old dd and older ds say there favourite memories were reading ‘the night before Christmas’ on Christmas Eve and leaving out a mince pie and carrot

@ICouldHaveCheckedFirst thank you! My rational brain knows he'll be fine, he's well loved, he has plenty of activities and toys, and we're a very 'no such thing as bad weather, just bad clothes', type family so we're still out walking on the beach going to the park/woods etc. I suppose it's as much about me as anything else, I loved those little traditions as a child and want to share them with him. We managed to go for a walk around the area we live and along the seafront (where the big posh houses are) on firework night in the early evening, DS had a warm cup of milk and a flapjack from some we made together and we saw more fireworks than I expected and he did really love that.

I've got all of my fingers and toes crossed we actually come out of lockdown in December, we're in a fairly low infection area, so he can see his cousins and we might still get carols in the park (outdoor transmission is much lower?) .

@LittleTiger007

These things are tacky and unnecessary. Fun happy times at home with family with hot chocolate and twinkling lights... this they will remember.

Yes, holidays and days out are "tacky". It's funny how this makes you sound so bitter.

You can get hot chocolate every cold or rainy day of the year. It's not "tacky" to have better expectations.

If we have to spend Christmas through a lockdown, we'll have make the most of it and have a lovely time. If we get some freedom back, what a waste to be stuck at it doing nothing or next to nothing.

You can still enjoy it all when your children are older.

They'll possibly enjoy it in a different way, when they don't believe that they are about to actually see Santa, but they might even enjoy it more. There's no rush.

Last year Dd (13) and I went to see Santa with my goddaughter (5). Goddaughter was so excited when Santa came, she grabbed my dd's hand and pulled her forward, and I remember Dd looking back and laughing and smiling at me because she was enjoying goddaughter's reaction so much.
That's almost a more special memory for me - Dd and I being complicit watching the magic for someone else.

There's always special moments to surprise you with joy. You don't have to worry about orchestrating them.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

Ok...

As a child; Never did a Christmas Lodge Stay (I’m in my 30s but my teenage DNs never either...most children I know haven’t).

Never did Lapland ditto the DNs.

I did Disney World in Florida once as an adult at Christmas and most summer holidays from childhood to adult. It was awesome at any age and any time of year (though Christmas is extra special). You don’t have to be 7 to enjoy it.

Light Trails?! That’s a nope.

Different Santa Experiences...yes to John Lewis or Garden or Shopping Center every year. All a bit pants but a tradition nonetheless. I can’t recall ever believing any of these fellas were the actual Santa.

I hate all this extra pressure now with Lapland U.K. , day trips to the real Lapland, breakfast with Santa, Elf on the sodding shelf etc. All of that should be an optional extra. Parents shouldn’t be guilt tripped into the stupid marketing campaigns. It’s not what Christmas is about. At all.

If I’m lucky to ever have kids it will be the family time, spirit of kindness and giving and the religious significance of Christmas that we will celebrate. Any extras are just that...extras. And if we get to do it they’ll be gently told not to show off or brag about it. I’ve taught too many kids who might not even get a meal on Christmas or who have to watch their Mum get beaten up or Dad ODing again to reinforce any keeping up with the Jones’s behaviour.

Put the kids on a pony. Smack its arse so it gallops off wildly into the snow covered hills. Crack open the whisky and put your feet up by the fire. Job done.

I don't think some of those things are tacky. It's cool on MN not to take part in these type of things.

But we took DD and grandparents to Lapland for her birthday one year, right next to Christmas. It was a great experience and not one my parents would be able to do again, but it works at any age. But my main point here, despite us enjoying it, DDs favourite bit about the whole trip was a chocolate Swiss roll we got from the Little shop for her birthday cake!

There are still lots of nice things you can do which have been mentioned above. We love walking or driving around looking at the lights, or lighting a fire in the pit on the solstice and roasting marshmallows.

yes WaterAndTheWild, holidays and family days out are "tacky"

I pity you.

How is it only on mumsnet that they think a day out ice skating is ‘tacky’?

Weve booked a lodge in December,we're expecting it to be cancelled due to covid.We didn't book it to tick off as a memory though.Just enjoy the time you have and don't worry about what other people are doing.

Hi OP you sound like a lovely mum who wants to make it special for your children. There was a thread on here a few weeks back about what you remember from xmas when you were a child. A lot of people were children in the 60s-90s period and often in those earlier decades in particular it was a pretty simple affair with a few presents each and decorations put up a few days before and so on. What everyone remembered was the sheer excitement and magic of Christmas - lovely food! Treats you wouldn’t normally have! Family together! Presents! And that was enough. It made me rethink how I handle the period with my own young children. Simple is better for children. You can have a baking weekend, making xmas decorations weekend and build up the excitement that way. And I’m also an old fogey who grew up overseas and there was literally zero Santa stuff (the religion of the country didn’t allow Christianity/ Christmas stuff) and I still remember with huge fondness what a lovely period it was because my parents made it special with what we had.

Just do what you want to do! You seem heavily influenced by social media which is sad. Christmas should just be enjoyable and fun for you and your family, not a competition or you feeling panicked and obliged to do pointless crap because people on your newsfeed are. Seriously, you'll look back and regret putting so much importance on that and not just focusing on enjoying yourself.

I think you’re worrying unnecessarily. My girls are 11&8 and although our activities at Christmas have changed we still have just as much fun.
I’m 38 and still look forward to Christmas afternoon tea and decorating their Christmas tree with my mum.

I literally did none of those growing up yet somehow still have wonderful memories of Christmas 🤔. It really isn’t necessary, my best memories are things like decorating the tree, Christmas Eve at home leaving mince pie and brandy out for Father Christmas, seeing what he’s brought in the morning, having all my family coming over, eating lots of chocolate etc etc. Social media makes people believe they must spend 100’s on special experiences to ‘make memories’, but you really don’t. Saying that I probably will take my dc to meet Father Christmas at some point if there’s a cheap one at the garden centre

Perhaps you should consider leaving Facebook if the boasting of some other parents has led you to feeling the way you do. Assuming you were not exaggerating (as many people do with language nowadays).

I dont remember anything like this as a child, dont know if we did them and I forgot or the more likely option that we didnt do them.

I do remember meeting santa at a santa themed resteraunt meal one year when I was about 10, I remember making and hanging paper snow flakes with my dad one year when I must have been 5 and I remember putting the tree up annually but thats it really.

Im sure we went to some pantomimes sporadically here and there on random years but when who knows could have been in April or November for all I remember - I dont specifically remember ever going to the theater at xmas.

I find it so wierd people have all of december set out for very specific 'xmas' events honestly - xmas was always just 1 day to me but I had fantastic Xmases.

I know the basics are just as much making memories. Like films, decorating, the tree. It’s just if we don’t do the other things it’s like missing out?

@Viv0321

How is it only on mumsnet that they think a day out ice skating is ‘tacky’?

jealousy

Parents who dare doing fun things with their kids, oh the shame.
Ignore the haters!