Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up.

[Viv0321]

I am Panicking about fitting in Xmas activities with DC before they grow up. Time is flying by and they are 7 years old.

I feel there is only a short amount of time to fit in things with DC before they grow up and feel that everything is ‘rushed’ to fit things in.

Things like:- Christmassy uk holidays where you stay in a lodge and there’s lots of Xmas activities for the DC. Lapland. Theme parks. Light trails. Different Santa experiences. Garden centres. Etc.

AIBU?

Thanks everyone I just want to make it special before it’s too late. I also forgot about ice skating and winterwonderlands.

Frigging hell.

Going to paid activities will not make it special.

My son is 25, and when I asked him if he minded that the most we'd done was a ride on the Watercress Line for a Santa special, he rolled his eyes and said he couldn't remember it.

Most of the activities can be enjoyed into adulthood - a long way into adulthood, to be honest. We're both retired and looking forward to our trip on the Polar Express run by a local steam railway

Exactly. I'm 47 and love the light trail at one of the local country houses.

For me the best memories are making paper chains with my late mum, getting the decorations out and putting them up (I still remember the smell of the tinsel etc) wrapping presents for mum with my late dad, using the nutcracker that only came out at Christmas for their walnuts etc, none of the stuff you e mentioned was a thing in those days, don’t fret about it. As previous pp said youVe been “advertised at”.

Never did any of that as a kid and still loved Christmas. They just want your time, attention, smiles and probably some toys and chocolate.

My DD is 10 and we have done a Christmas light trail and breakfast with santa but that's all.

We have made our own Xmas traditions which she loves, her favourite thing is on Xmas eve. I clean the house top to bottom (don't ask me why I do this because the next day you would think the tazmanian devil had ran through the house) by 11am I put the Xmas eve sweets out me my DD and DH (not dds dad) all pick one Xmas movie each to watch. We start watching the movies about 1pm after the 1st movie we will start putting together a party tea and watch the 2nd movie whike having a floor picnic, then showers new pj's and the last movie before she goes to bed.

She said that's a tradition she will always love to carry on and it's her favourite thing about Xmas obviously excluding Xmas day.

Xmas is what you make it as a family and making your own memories whether you do all those things or do it your own way it doesn't have to be extravagant

I don’t think it’s advertised. Every year it’s all over my Facebook feed, so a lot are doing those things.

Yabu. All the things listed are just for the ‘gram really aren’t they. To show off what is expected of the perfect little family life.
As an aside we went to Lapland when my kids were 10 and 13. We had the most amazing time. Our best family holiday ever and it was only 3 days long. They didn’t believe in Santa by then so we were able to concentrate on the beautiful outdoors, sledging, snow fights, huskies, reindeer etc. None of that has an age limit on it.

We go to a local light trail through a forest every year - started two years ago. It's lovely and our DS, who is 13 now, is really looking forward to it this year. He saw Santa every year when he was younger. Only once every December, we never did this 'let's see Santa at the garden centre and again at the shopping centre and again at...' because DS asked why there were two Santa's when he was three years old - we'd taken him to see one and thought it'd be a nice idea to take him to see the one at the shopping centre and he asked why they looked different...So it was Santa once from then on! We obviously don't do Santa now - the light trail has taken its place.

We have a local charity that comes around the streets on a float at Christmas and DS was thrilled to hear that it's still going on this year. As are we. It's part of the tradition for our Christmas - DS first saw the float when he was 18 months old and was known to run from the dinner table if he heard it coming when he was younger.

And our local Christmas market is wonderful. But other than that, we don't do all the other stuff.

We do a panto after Christmas, never before - but not this year. DS said he isn't worried as he's 'too old' for pantos now. But next year he'll be going because DH and I enjoy them and Christmas isn't all about him. Important point for him to learn.

Do the things that you think will give the memories for you. Whether it's going to the woods to find pine cones, or picking up the Christmas tree as a family, or going for a bracing walk near the sea (as we do every Boxing Day). Those things are part of the ritual, the memories, but they don't have to cost a lot of money.

It's the little things that make a family tradition. For example, when we put up the tree, I pass the Christmas fairy to DH from the box and he passes it to DS because, when DS was little, DH used to have to lift him in his arms to put her up. It's a silly little ritual but it's our family thing so it's important to us. Every year DS says he remembers going 'up' with the fairy as dad lifted him. That's special. That's what makes the memories, not spending a lot of money and running yourself ragged.

It's all about getting you to spend money. I do wonder sometimes where we'll end up, as everything continually has to get bigger, better, more exciting, more expensive, more luxurious.

So the simple happy Christmases we enjoyed when I was a kid (many, many moons ago) when the only outings were perhaps as visit to see Father Christmas, usually at a local department store and a trip to the pantomime, have morphed into some all singing, all dancing monstrosity where people have to spend, spend, spend. It really has become just another retail opportunity.

As if christmas is not hard enough, with presents and food. Nevermind throwing in xmas activities into the mix.

YABU
Christmas activities aren't a bucket list

We had a winter holiday in Lapland one February when DD was 14. She wouldn't have enjoyed as much if she had been younger.

Oh and I agree with @Derekhello. My memory of Christmas was making paper chains with dad and cutting up last year's Christmas cards with pinking shears with mum. We'd make them into Christmas gift tags and we'd decorate small trees with them (little table top ones). Those trees would go next to our beds in the week before Christmas - mine was silver. I always remember that little tree and I'm 57 now.

YAB massively U, as 99% of people on your survey confirm. You don't need to do all that show-offy, Insta-worthy #makingmemories bollocks in order to give your children a lovely Christmas. And what are you on about 'before it's too late'? They're only 7! Panicking about fitting in x amount of 'magical experiences ' is just ridiculous. Get a grip!

I’ve never posted photos on social media in my life. So it’s not that.

I think you are falling into the trap of christmas only being magical for young children. I'm 50 and the things I remember are just hanging out with my family around a tree, crap TV and lots of chocolate and presents.
As I've got older I still love the Christmas season even though until the last couple of years we didn't have any kids around. It's the Christmas markets, the carol concerts, the general feeling of celebration with friends and family that made it magical for us adults.
Now we've got two teenagers they are obviously not interested in grottos, but enjoy the markets and the concerts and tracking Santa on Norad with my father on Christmas Eve.....
Don't panic, don't rush through these overpriced and underwhelming experiences as "must do's". In the great scheme of things your children won't even remember most of them.

Thank you

Don't get caught up in trying to do it all; children don't necessarily take what you expect from the 'perfect' Christmas... They might remember that Caractacus threw up on the way to Lapland, but not the sleigh ride with Santa. Relax and make your own Christmas traditions.

Thank you @BarbaraofSeville I am
That all sounds more like a Botanical Gardens not a garden centre (the places that sell plants, yes?). I live right by a garden centre and for Christmas... they sell Christmas trees and wreaths.

A garden centre as a destination? Is this why they had to open during lockdown? I think my local centre is missing a trick here....

I think people are being a bit mean!

I know how you feel, but you definitely don’t need to feel that way. You just need to make sure that the time you have with them little is happy and enjoyable, as much as possible. Yes those activities sound nice, but they are ways to fill your spare time, not obligations.

Lapland in particular I would say is totally unnecessary!

just a little bit YABU...

You don't have to do it ALL. Covid has destroyed most people's plans, this year is really shit, but you can still book a few things

Pandemic aside, you can book Lapland OR a lodge, you don't have to do both.

Keep theme parks for other occasions or later.

You can still do most of these things when they are a bit older, stick with things like Lapland whilst they still believe.

If it wasn't the pandemic, I would struggle to understand the rush. You can go to panto every year, even when they are older.
one grotto - so that's lapland or similar

then one or 2 activities in December .Frankly that's plenty. Save your money for a nice family holiday in February or Easter!

Get over yourself is the first thing that came to mind. Then I realised you probably following 'influencers' who get paid to show these elaborate days out etc, I didn't have these things growing up, still have great memories,my son didn't have them either, he has great memories. None of these memories were 'built', they just happened, my father was a forester, we lived beside the forest, Christmas involved selling Christmas trees which was fun but didn't involve twinkly lights, hot chocolate, etc. These add on's are unnecessary. Meeting the wren boys on St. Stephen's day, the cold frosty morning walks to feed the ducks, an evening in the city walking around with a bag of chips keeping our hands warm, baking with my mother, she baked with my son also, these are natural memories which mean more than manufactured ones. My son's funniest fondest memory is the year my husband blew up the fuse board halfway through dinner being cooked in my parents house, we couldn't get the gates opened so he had to sit on my husbands shoulders and pass the half cooked food out over the wall to my brother who rushed it to his house to finish cooking while we figured out how to get out (high walls, high gates with broken manual mechanism), dinner was late but hilarious. Lay off whatever social media is causing this much pressure, relax and realise spending money doesn't equate to fond memories. My childhood christmases have melded into a feeling of warmth, security, contentment and happiness, not rushing to fit 'everything' in. And even though my son is now in his 20's I know the memories of the Christmases together to come will mean as much as the childhood ones because I treasure my adult ones with my parents just as much as my childhood ones.