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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Working all Christmas

188 replies

Reallyneed · 15/11/2020 09:35

DH works nights in a warehouse/retail job.

This year Christmas eve, Christmas day and boxing day fall on days that he will be due to work.

Last Christmas he worked all through and it was miserable, me stuck at home on my own with two tiny toddlers watching daytime tv whilst he slept through the festivities.

This year we are due to have his three eldest (my step kids) over on boxing day for the whole day which just won't be able to happen if he's working then sleeping then back to work again.

Do we need to 'suck it up' or should he be entitled to spend the Xmas period with me and the children.

I was so looking forward to Xmas for once now I'm feeling disheartened.

OP posts:
Ffsffsffsffsffs · 15/11/2020 10:39

HR. This afternoon.

www.gov.uk/night-working-hours

There are so many rules being broken here it's almost unbelievable. He should at least be getting 2 consecutive days off every 2 weeks. Is there a sainsburys staff forum where he can get support?

Only one day holiday in a year, all holiday requests declined, 12 hour night shifts, no 'weekends' ever, and a bullying manager? HR and some time off for stress/exhaustion I think.

Nottherealslimshady · 15/11/2020 10:39

Its shit but that's the job he's got. Lots of people have to work those days. You've just got to suck it up unfortunately.

SnuggyBuggy · 15/11/2020 10:40

Is he being honest with you about how much time he is spending at work? I'm sure Sainsburys aren't angels but would a boss in a large company have this much power?

Audreyseyebrows · 15/11/2020 10:40

I work all over Christmas doing shifts. We just celebrate on a different day.

OrigamiOwl · 15/11/2020 10:41

There are 2 seperate issued here.

Is he entitled to Christmas off? No. If he works a job where Christmas working is required then that is what it is. I say this as someone who is also working all over Christmas.

Is he entitled to use up his annual leave allowance? Yes and this is a separate issue that needs to be raised via HR.

AllsortsofAwkward · 15/11/2020 10:42

Sound like he needs to find another job so he can have more of a family life especially for his dc he doesnt live with easier said than done but I think you got to get the balance right with work and family

AlwaysCheddar · 15/11/2020 10:42

Sainsbury’s hr sound like a pile of shit.... maybe their digital team will spot this thread and escalate it.

Original poster
Reallyneed · 15/11/2020 10:42

I'm going to talk to him about ACAS and HR.

I have pushed him to take things further on several occasions but he's always reluctant, I don't think he wants to make things any worse than they are.

I don't agree with his lack of advocating for himself but can't force him to take action Sad

I think his problems all stem from his night manager directly as opposed to Sainsbury's as a whole.

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 15/11/2020 10:42

Did your dh take any leave last year?

Original poster
Reallyneed · 15/11/2020 10:43

@SnuggyBuggy

Is he being honest with you about how much time he is spending at work? I'm sure Sainsburys aren't angels but would a boss in a large company have this much power?
I believe so. I have no reason to disbelieve him and don't suspect he's being unfaithful or anything like that.
OP posts:
SecretSpAD · 15/11/2020 10:44

Its shit but that's the job he's got. Lots of people have to work those days. You've just got to suck it up unfortunately.

No people really shouldn't just suck up working for an employer who is breaking the law.

The Christmas issue is totally irrelevant. It's the fact that this is a workplace that is denying staff annual leave and bullying them.

diddl · 15/11/2020 10:44

"Is he entitled to use up his annual leave allowance? Yes and this is a separate issue that needs to be raised via HR."

Does "use it or lose it" no longer exist then?

AcornAutumn · 15/11/2020 10:44

@Reallyneed

No annual leave this year no. He has put in multiple holiday request forms and each one has been rejected with no explanation as to why.

His boss is a bit of a git, to put it politely.

DH gets the distinct impression he doesn't like him and he's not the only one, the boss has 'favourites' and also people that he's particularly unpleasant to.

Is that legal - has he got a contract?
Original poster
Reallyneed · 15/11/2020 10:44

@AlwaysCheddar

Did your dh take any leave last year?
Yes he did, but that was before his boss took a blatant dislike for him.
OP posts:
funnylittlefloozie · 15/11/2020 10:47

Actually its a good thing its Sainsburys. It's a massive company that has a proper HR function and plenty of management layers above your DHs line manager.

The night manager will have been contacted by HR, though, to query why there is outstanding annual leave. Is there still a store HR manager? Could your DH either write to that person or make an appointment to go in and see them on one of his days off? He needs to keep off the subject of Christmas leave, and ask simply why ALL his leave requests have been rejected and what he is meant to do about carrying over days and days of annual leave. He also needs to tell HR about potentially discriminatory bullying... they will NOT want that one escalating.

My DP is working all day on Christmas Day, so i do feel your pain. There is nothing to be done about it, its the nature of the job, but its still rubbish.

BarbaraofSeville · 15/11/2020 10:47

Does his employer have anything like 360 degree reporting?

So as well as employees getting appraisals from their managers, employees get the chance to raise any issues about the person they report to? Either as part of the annual process, or can he go above his direct manager if he thinks he's not being treat fairly?

After all, denying people their legal right to statutory holidays is putting the business at risk of prosecution, so is a managerial failing if it is allowed to happen.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 15/11/2020 10:48

If he doesnt have consecutive days off how many days a week is he working?!

Doing 12 hour days people usually only work 4 of those a week at most. If he is working 3 days a row over christmas he must have a pair of days off somewhere?

Rainbowsoup · 15/11/2020 10:48

Can he not cope on less sleep just for one day? Return at 10am stay with the children until 3pm before sleeping. Could still fit in 6 hours sleep before his next shift and get to spend the majority of the day with his children

Singinghollybob · 15/11/2020 10:52

This year and last year is disappointing because of his shift pattern yeas, but does that mean he had all of Xmas off in previous years because of his shift pattern? I suppose some years it'll mean him working all /some of it and others he'll work none?

Singinghollybob · 15/11/2020 10:53

But in your situation this year I'd do Christmas on another day when he's off and have a low key one on 25th

slothtrot · 15/11/2020 10:54

At least he is working nights so gets to spend some of the day with you and his children. It's not ideal but it's part of the job and he just has to make the best of it.

Mummacgeese · 15/11/2020 10:56

Looks like your the main event again this year-

WildfirePonie · 15/11/2020 10:56

In the nicest possible way: as a military wife my husband could be away for 9 months at a time including over Christmas. At least yours comes home safely every day.

No one forced you to become a military wife.

MoonJelly · 15/11/2020 10:59

The refusal to allow any holiday must be illegal. Given that your husband's boss isn't the overall boss, he definitely needs to go direct to the store manager to sort this out.

Ellmau · 15/11/2020 10:59

He should join the union. He is being treated despicably.