On the motorway alone with baby

[firstpregnancy1]

My son is 3 weeks old and in a few weeks time I need to make a trip that would normally take me via the m25, in an area where there is often either heavy traffic or some sort of hold up due to an accident or lane closure etc.

What would you do if you were driving on the motorway alone with a newborn and there was a traffic jam resulting in standstill/ stop start traffic for a period of time. Some queues can delay you well over an hour sometimes longer. If your newborn started screaming for a feed, and you were stuck in stop start traffic, would you just try and hold out? For how long? Would you use the hard shoulder to pull over to feed baby? If it was 100% standstill then you could just feed baby there but 99% of traffic jams aren't just standstill it's usually moving and very slowly which wouldn't be safe to have baby out to feed!!

I've decided to take a slightly longer route to avoid the motorway so as to avoid this potential scenario but it got me thinking about what I would do/what others would do / what the best thing to do would be..

So what would you do?

Baby is due a feed, you're stuck and have been for 90mins, it's stop start traffic and showing no sign of improvement, nearest services is miles away..

I would do as you said longer route no motor way. Pull over and park where possible to feed.

You'd have to stick it out - you need to be able to react quickly to anything around you (what if an ambulance etc came down the hard shoulder because of traffic?). Having your baby 'loose' as it were would be very dangerous if someone were to hit you, not to mention not having full attention on the road. But I guess a screaming hungry baby is also distracting.

I don't know anything about babies, can you 'overfeed' before you go?

Assuming you can't have anyone else with you and can't not make the journey (as otherwise you wouldn't be!) maybe check the route before you go for traffic, have a vague idea of where exits are (i.e. if it looks like it's getting heavier, leave motorway, check traffic again, feed if possible).

Please don't try to over feed your baby. Not that that's even possible. Just take the longer route. Regardless you will comfortable knowing you can attend to your little one when needed safely

Take the longer route

I’d get off at the next exit and find somewhere safe to stop. No way on earth would I stop on the hard shoulder!

Do not use the hard shoulder for this, you will be in trouble if caught and you are putting yourself and baby in danger by using it. There are many many accidents involving vehicles on the hard shoulder not to mention the fact hat you will be blocking the emergency services. Pull into services or similar before the likely traffic and feed the baby. You must have an idea of when the baby will require feeding so work around it.

Jesus Christ- don’t consider pulling over on the hard shoulder.
If your baby needs to be fed, take the next exit, feed etc and rejoin the motorway.
You could be killed pulling into the hard shoulder

I would take a longer route and make sure I could make several stops. It is dangerous for a 3 week old baby to be in a car seat for long periods of time. You should be taking them out every 30 minutes.

I cannot believe the hard shoulder is being mooted as an option. I once saw someone opposite my house pull up on double yellows and start bottle feeding her baby, causing a big obstruction. She had the front to get snippy when a warden asked her to move!

Baby just has to scream. They’re unlikely to actually come to harm not being fed for an hour or two. I might turn round to reinsert a dummy if I was entirely stopped. But you absolutely cannot stop on the hard shoulder for a hungry baby, it’s incredibly dangerous.

If it is the Barnet/Enfield stretch of the M25, avoid it like the plague. The reason there are so many accidents there are because there is no hard shoulder. I narrowly escaped a pile up there myself.

To be clear, that’s in the event of unexpected delays/accident etc. In your situation I’d take the long route.

I pretty regularly use the m25 for work and while I agree accidents, tailbacks etc are pretty common I would say it is very rare to be stationery for as long as 90 minutes. Even where its a proper smash up with the air ambulance etc landing I would say on average its 30 - 40 mins truly blocked in, gridlocked in traffic, after which it may be slow going, down to one lane, but you should be able to get to an exit and pull off and feed/sort out baby. I know half an hour of screaming newborn isn't nice at all and will feel like much longer but if all you are doing is sitting in traffic or inching forward you should be able to do so safely even with distraction so I think you just have to wait it out. As others have said, do not pull onto hard shoulder or get baby out of car seat, that really would be dangerous!

Whatever you decide, goodluck OP. That is a very stressful situation and I hope it goes well for you.

Ok I don't know the M25 but I'd assume that it's still quiter than precovid. I'd make sure you have pram or buggy, feed baby before you get in the car. Take the m25 and hope for the best, the motion of the car should keep baby rocked to sleep.

Buggy / pram is just incase you break down you can get LO out the car, walk to phone and stay away from the car and road.

You NEVER get the baby out on the motorway. Pull off and stop at the services if you have to.

I would always take the route where you know you will be able to pull over or park up somewhere if needed.

It doesn't have to be a proper series you stop at either if baby is howling and next services is miles away, when you get used to driving with small children you will get pretty good at finding safe places to stop, for an emergency wee, break up a fight, feed baby, deal with sick +/- poo-nami incidents etc, I have dealt with all these and more in laybys, supermarket car parks, quiet side streets, truck driver stops! If you need to just pull off the motorway at the next exit and drive in a suitable direction, there will be somewhere safe to stop within 5 mins and in these days of sat nav Google will take you back to the motorway afterwards no bother. Much much better than using hard shoulder or waiting miles for next services with little ones howling in your ear!

What's so important that you need to go? Clearly not an emergency if you have three weeks notice.

Hard shoulder is the most dangerous place on a road. Because of relative speeds. Just avoid the motorway completely.

If I had to, stop start means getting off at the next exit and feeding there.

Why do you have to go?

I would (and have) avoid anywhere that I cant pull over, so motorways are out. Dual carriage ways can be ok as long as there are regular parkings lay bys.

Its the reason I drove from Stoke to North Wales the back way rather than via the M6 (and got there quicker despite stopping to feed the baby, than my son and his GF who went on the M6 thanks to its perma tailback). Oh and you get to stop at the fabulous ice cream place with the straw sculpture that way too! I cant remember what its called but I am sure another MNer will.

Snugburys! Just remembered.

Even putting aside the fact that would be causing an obstruction by using the hard shoulder, and that you could get into trouble for doing so, it is very dangerous for you and your baby. There is a reason why the advice is to get out of your vehicle once you have pulled into the hard shoulder when you're having car trouble. If you are breastfeeding your baby inside your vehicle on the hardshoulder then you are a sitting duck if the traffic gets moving again and there is an accident. Your baby would be loose in the car if something hit you at high speed. Please, please, please don't ever do this.

I would just go on the motorway....feed baby before you set off & if they cry for a feed on the way pull of at the next junction / services and feed baby. Never get baby out on the hard shoulder for a feed.
Maybe because I have a child already I feel this way?

If bottle feeding make sure I have more bottles than I anticipate I would need to be safe; if breastfeeding obviously this isn't a worry.

Never never on the hard shoulder. When I was a kid my dad noticed a vehicle in the hard shoulder that he thought looked odd - and this was a really wide one, it was basically a triangle with the motorway being the bottom side, due to the curvy-ness of the road - and he pulled over to help. Inside was an absolutely terrified woman and a young toddler. She’d pulled completely off the road to re-do his car seat straps which he’d undone and some idiot had come off the road, smashed into her and drove right back on the motorway again without a thought. Luckily they were both unharmed but she had been there for ages just frozen in fear. My dad had noticed it looked odd because we’d driven back and forth a few times that evening, it was in a heavily wooded area (we were camping nearby) and the busyness of the road meant it was a long detour each time you needed to cross as there were no turnoffs for a while. This was in the 90’s, no mobiles so she might’ve been there all night if he didn’t have such a damsel in distress radar. We drove her to the police station in the next town all the while knowing that it could’ve been an absolute tragic outcome.

A long way of saying the baby crying is ok until you can get somewhere safe. The side of the motorway is not safe, no matter how wide. Traffic is just moving too fast. And luckily child seat straps are a lot more kid proof than they were back then.