On the motorway alone with baby

[firstpregnancy1]

My son is 3 weeks old and in a few weeks time I need to make a trip that would normally take me via the m25, in an area where there is often either heavy traffic or some sort of hold up due to an accident or lane closure etc.

What would you do if you were driving on the motorway alone with a newborn and there was a traffic jam resulting in standstill/ stop start traffic for a period of time. Some queues can delay you well over an hour sometimes longer. If your newborn started screaming for a feed, and you were stuck in stop start traffic, would you just try and hold out? For how long? Would you use the hard shoulder to pull over to feed baby? If it was 100% standstill then you could just feed baby there but 99% of traffic jams aren't just standstill it's usually moving and very slowly which wouldn't be safe to have baby out to feed!!

I've decided to take a slightly longer route to avoid the motorway so as to avoid this potential scenario but it got me thinking about what I would do/what others would do / what the best thing to do would be..

So what would you do?

Baby is due a feed, you're stuck and have been for 90mins, it's stop start traffic and showing no sign of improvement, nearest services is miles away..

I’ve only read the first page but echoing - take the longer/ less direct route. It is incredibly stressful having a newborn screaming in the back.
They might get hungry, or I had to stop once because my daughter’s hat had gone down over her eyes and she was screaming. They should have regular breaks from a car seat as it compromises breathing.

We had a regular drive that was 1.5 hours including motorway. My husband sat with baby in the back and we would stop halfway at services for a long break for a feed and change, and often a second stop in the last third.

Now I have two and he can’t sit in the back, we go the non motorway way.

Baby only lulled to sleep with movement when you are moving...they tend to wake up in stationary traffic!!

I wouldn't use the hard shoulder under any circumstances, you'd have to find an alternative route or just stick it out. Try to travel at night or during quieter times/ when baby is due a nap would be best?

I probably wouldn't go, is there an alternative? Or I would take a non motorway route and plan in advance where you could stop. You're supposed to stop every half hour with a newborn anyway.

If it's the M25 there's tons of exits and usually a town very nearby, so plenty of places to stop. I would never stop on the hard shoulder unless I'd broken down or there was an emergency. It's soooo dangerous. I have driven on other motorways with a baby and I had the travel news on the radio all the way so I could predict any problems but I still used motorways.

You are very very very unlikely to be stuck for 90 mins on the m25 without moving enough to come off at a junction and pull over somewhere to feed.
Don’t use the hard shoulder. So either avoid the motorway or just go and come off if baby screams. Use the m25 most days and have done with newborns and toddlers, never had a problem.

I'd take the longer route but would also try and leave the house as soon as possible after a good feed so hopefully the baby wouldn't need feeding and might just sleep.
I avoid motorways when possible since having children as they make me nervous (motorways not the children!)

Take the longer route. Babies at that age can't be in a car seat for more than 30mins anyway.

I would also advise that you check your route on google map just before you leave, and use your phone as a satnav because it will pick up and advise of any traffic issues.

Waze is also a good satnav app that advoses of traffic issues, that you can download for free.

I always check the roads before setting off on a motorway journey.

Take the A roads. It'll take longer but you'll be able to pull over if necessary.

A new born shouldn't be in a car seat for longer than 30 minutes 2 hours over a 24 hour period. This is what we got told, if you avoided the motorway is there anywhere you could stop to get the baby out into the lie flat for a little bit, change/ feed and then continue your journey ?

Take a friend? Don't go?

In general stop worst case scenario’ing things - otherwise it’s a long parenting road ahead.

The baby might cry for a bit, it will come to no harm. Take a favourite toy, calming music etc along to help with distractions if you can.

Realise the M25 is not too terrible. Try to avoid weekday rush hour if you can when it’s just slow from volume of traffic.

what's the point of this thread when the OP has already said she is going to take a longer route to avoid the M25?

Posters are responding as if she's unsure.

It's become an academic essay providing answers to a non-problem.

If anyone ever has to pull over on a busy dual carriageway or motorway you get out the car, climb onto the verge, over the barrier if there is one, far enough away that if your car was hit it wouldn't be catapulted into you and call the emergency services.

FFS pull onto the hard shoulder and feed your baby us one of the stupidest things I've ever read on here!

The 30 minutes rule wasn't a thing 10 years ago and sounds a bit ridiculous to me. My dc don't seem to have come to any harm from being in their seats for a couple of hours at a time, and nor do any of the dc amongst my friends and family. It's not realistic.

My plan on a motorway would be to stop at the next safest place op (services or pull off at the next junction)

Go the longer way, never ever get a baby out of their car seat on the motorway, even in stop start traffic. If something did go into you that could be catastrophic for your little one. Definitely not the hard shoulder. You could factor in a scheduled stop at the services if there is one, but they still might be screaming, they'd be fine without food for a short while but it'd probably be distracting. The ideal would be to have someone who could go with you and sit in the back I suppose.

Have you driven on the M25 recently? It is way less busy than usual due to lockdown. Even when it isn't lockdown, there is much less traffic - all the work from home/furlough is noticeable.

I'd do M25, pull off if you have to.

My friend stopped on the hard shoulder of the M 25 once. Her toddler son had undone his car seat and she was fastening it. A police officer came over and told her the hard shoulder was the most dangerous place and she should have carried on until next exit or services. Obviously her action was very brief, feeding baby would be much longer. I think with a baby that young you can’t risk not being able to safely feed then

@movingonup20

To be honest, earplugs! Feed and change baby just before leaving then go, driving 2-3 hours is fine - they may desire a feed but can wait

you cant wear earplugs when you're driving! You have to hear what's going off, you could miss a horn or a crash and not react fast enough. Or sirens of an emergency vehicle. A baby also cant be in a car for 2-3 hours unless in a true life flat car seat. They cant breath scrunched over in a traditional car seat. 20 minutes max for a 3 week old baby at a time.

@doctorhamster

The 30 minutes rule wasn't a thing 10 years ago and sounds a bit ridiculous to me. My dc don't seem to have come to any harm from being in their seats for a couple of hours at a time, and nor do any of the dc amongst my friends and family. It's not realistic.

My plan on a motorway would be to stop at the next safest place op (services or pull off at the next junction)

This is a terrible way to think. Car seats weren't a thing when my husband was little, doesn't seem to have harmed him

It's in place for a reason, because babies die, why would you increase the chance of your baby dying, why would you encourage someone to put their baby at risk?

We did get stuck for a couple of hours in the M25 once. I was days off giving birth and eventually had to wee on the central reservation. I was wearing an all in one maternity jumpsuit so that was quite a manoeuvre!

That being said, that was a one time event. I live near the M25 so use it often and it had never happened to me before then and it hasn’t happened since and the child involved is 30 now.

I think this is more about the perfectly understandable anxiety about travelling with a new baby than the actual logistics of the journey. OP is very sensible to take a different route if that alleviates some of her worries.