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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell friend she's accidentally used my baby scan photo?

367 replies

LittleTruffle · 14/11/2020 18:54

My baby was born last month and one of my friends is currently pregnant. During my pregnancy, I shared some pictures of my scan photos with her.

A few days ago, she posted a photo of a scan picture on social media. I recognised the scan picture immediately as one of mine. I even dug out the actual scan photo to double check - it is definitely mine that she's used.

She has clearly meant to post a picture of one of her own scan photos, but has accidentally posted one of mine and she hasn't realised what she's done.

I didn't see the social media post when she initially posted it a few days ago. I only saw it for the first time today. Already, tons of people have liked the picture and have made comments, which she has replied to.

I think, if I'd have seen her social media post when she initially posted it, I would have let her know.. but a few days have gone by now and I don't know what to do.

Should I let my friend know she's accidentally used an image of my scan photo? Or, should I keep quiet and just let her enjoy the moment as it's not doing anyone any harm?

YABU - Yes, it would be unreasonable to tell her.
YANBU - No, it would not be unreasonable to tell her.

OP posts:
Duemarch2021 · 14/11/2020 19:40

Omg have read all of the comments and at first i thought genuine mistake! But now you say that the pic ia distinctive, it sounds like she has posted yours on purpose.... really odd!!! I'd have to say something and I'm a quiet reserved person .. something's not right there Hmm

RattleOfBars · 14/11/2020 19:41

Or it was a distinctive photo showing baby’s hand or something so she thought it would get more attention than a blurry one? If so that’s very cheeky!

AppleKatie · 14/11/2020 19:41

If there’s no identifying data of yours on show (DOB etc...) I would let it go.

Either she’s made a mistake or she’s done it on purpose (odd). Either way nothing good comes of confronting a pregnant woman.

LilacPebbles · 14/11/2020 19:42

You cropped out your own name to protect your privacy, before posting to your own social media?

skylarkdescending · 14/11/2020 19:44

It sounds like she wants the laughs associated with your funny scan pic. Does she have low self esteem generally?

I'm not sure much good will come of you saying anything. What would you want the outcome to be if you mentioned it? You would certainly humiliate her publicly and possibly lose her friendship due to that.

Maybe check in that she's ok. How is she feeling about the pregnancy etc.

ZombieAttack · 14/11/2020 19:45

Why can’t you just text her and say ‘hi, have you posted my scan picture by mistake?’ Make it lighthearted.

Cotswolds10 · 14/11/2020 19:46

I doubt this was an accident. If your scan pic was stand out and cute/comical, I bet she’s deliberately posted it instead of her own, just to get extra likes/comments/attention. Some people are just so flipping desperate when it comes to social media.

PleasantVille · 14/11/2020 19:46

Either she’s made a mistake or she’s done it on purpose (odd). Either way nothing good comes of confronting a pregnant woman

What do you mean by that? Pregnant women are perfectly capable of having rational conversations, they arnt going to have an attack of the vapours if asked a question Confused

WhenTwoBecomeThree · 14/11/2020 19:47

Maybe just flag it as a 'oops, think you got the wrong scan pic, ha' in a text/private message. My OWN DP and DD's dad, the very same person who lives in my house and shares a framed photo of our 12 weeks scan, used my SIL's 12 week scan on MY birthday card last year, our daughters are 3 months apart🤣 our scans look nothing alike and he was rushing to get a card done when he was busy at work. Didn't realise until the card was opened and on my mantel piece and it was me that realised

ladycarlotta · 14/11/2020 19:47

@LilacPebbles

You cropped out your own name to protect your privacy, before posting to your own social media?
this really isn't that weird. You can want people to know you're pregnant without them knowing what hospital you are at, due date, DOB etc. Plus if someone (like the OP's friend) yoinked it and it ended up floating around the internet, it wouldn't have your personal information on it.

I cropped the info out of mine when I shared it on my bump group and on a nub theory group. A scan pic is broadly generic but I don't want my personal info out there.

Feministicon · 14/11/2020 19:50

She must have thought your scan photo was a more interesting one to post than hers!

Original poster
LittleTruffle · 14/11/2020 19:51

@LilacPebbles

You cropped out your own name to protect your privacy, before posting to your own social media?
Not exactly, no. The photos were cropped so that my boyfriend could also share them with his friends and post them to social media. I don't know all his friends/work mates etc. I don't want the whole world knowing my personal information. Also, I go by an alternative name on Facebook due to a personal reason which I am not happy to share on MN. I don't have anything on social media that identifies my personal information.
OP posts:
Ughmaybenot · 14/11/2020 19:51

If you’re absolutely sure she’s pregnant, then I think it’s one of two things; she’s a complete scatterbrain and managed to scroll back way too far without noticing orrrr her scan photo wasn’t much cop and she wanted a clear one for Facebook (and is a bit strange, that is, after all, an internal image of you besides being of your baby!). I think probably the latter.

AppleKatie · 14/11/2020 19:53

What do you mean by that? Pregnant women are perfectly capable of having rational conversations, they arnt going to have an attack of the vapours if asked a question

I mean if she did it accidentally she’ll be mortified and embarrassed to have to tell her friends who’ve already commented on it. If she did it on purpose she’s really odd and unlikely to take confrontation well.

So either way you’ve upset a pregnant lady and achieved nothing.

Wildflower219 · 14/11/2020 19:54

Tough one I reckon as you said she's scrolled too far back. I wouldn't say anything let her have the moment and she's none the wiser. You could make a little joke about how similar your babies look and send a diff scan pic of yours where babies not in the same position but I definitely wouldn't tell her directly. I'd be kicking myself if I had accidentally posted someone else's scan picture

Twistered · 14/11/2020 19:56

Op I initially thought she'd just made a mistake , but having read your updates I now think of course your friend knows it's your scan pic . She has put it up knowingly. How could she make a mistake like that if your scan pic was so unusual.
And even when others commented this on her FB post she has still played along pretending that scan pic is hers .
What very very strange behaviour. You have to mention it to her to see what the hell is she thinking putting your scan up and pretending it's hers!!

HavelockVetinari · 14/11/2020 19:57

How many weeks pregnant is she?

It's very easy to fake a baby kick, I had a couple of people who were obsessed with feeling my bump and waiting for a kick so I'd twitch one of my abdominal muscles gently, they fell for it completely (and let go, thank God, I HATE being touched!) despite having had their own DC.

It's also v easy to push out your tummy, if you do it a lot your muscles get used to that shape.

I'm not saying she's faking it btw, just that it's totally possible.

YesIReallyDoLikeRootBeer · 14/11/2020 19:57

If the picture is as unique as you say, seems to me she used it because she wanted people to think she got such a fun pic of her baby. I could understand a mix up with a normal ultrasound pic, but not an accident if its as unique as you say. I would ask the friend why she would do that.

Ragwort · 14/11/2020 19:57

If you don't identify your personal info on FB then why use FB at all? Sorry if it's a dense question but I just don't get why people use FB if it's not about them personally Confused.

I've never used FB, I just don't understand why people use it so much when it seems to cause so much anguish. And are people really that interested in a scan photo?

Twistered · 14/11/2020 19:57

CAN PEOPLE READ THE OP UDATES PLEASE!

Grin sorry but if you read updates you'll see it's not a mistake

Schummakker · 14/11/2020 19:58

If she’s your friend and she’s pregnant I’m sure there’s an innocent explanation I’d just keep quiet it’s no big deal amd would probably embarrass her.

LilacPebbles · 14/11/2020 20:00

That's fair enough, OP. I'm private myself so that's why I didn't share my scan pics at all.
If you're not mistaken, you would mention it to her, surely? It's not the kind of thing accidentally done. If you have a good relationship, you can do it in a jokey way that she won't take offence at. You're the one who should be offended. She's trying to pass off your insides as her own. Usually this is done when faking a pregnancy.

FilthyforFirth · 14/11/2020 20:00

How have you felt her baby kick at 13 weeks?!? Or did I misread how far along she is?

pastandpresent · 14/11/2020 20:01

I think she may have used yours because it was very distinctive and you got so much reaction back then, and hers was very ordinally, thinking you won't remember/recognize? But that is a very odd thing to do if so.

goldenharvest · 14/11/2020 20:02

They all look the same anyway, and within days they would have sunk to the bottom of the SM pile. She has her own genuine pictures she can keep, so I'd just save her the embarrassment and leave it.

Usual question...What would be achieved by telling the truth? Embarrassment, and some SM backpedalling and looking a bit of a fool. Do you want that?