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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell friend she's accidentally used my baby scan photo?

367 replies

LittleTruffle · 14/11/2020 18:54

My baby was born last month and one of my friends is currently pregnant. During my pregnancy, I shared some pictures of my scan photos with her.

A few days ago, she posted a photo of a scan picture on social media. I recognised the scan picture immediately as one of mine. I even dug out the actual scan photo to double check - it is definitely mine that she's used.

She has clearly meant to post a picture of one of her own scan photos, but has accidentally posted one of mine and she hasn't realised what she's done.

I didn't see the social media post when she initially posted it a few days ago. I only saw it for the first time today. Already, tons of people have liked the picture and have made comments, which she has replied to.

I think, if I'd have seen her social media post when she initially posted it, I would have let her know.. but a few days have gone by now and I don't know what to do.

Should I let my friend know she's accidentally used an image of my scan photo? Or, should I keep quiet and just let her enjoy the moment as it's not doing anyone any harm?

YABU - Yes, it would be unreasonable to tell her.
YANBU - No, it would not be unreasonable to tell her.

OP posts:
diamond4u · 15/11/2020 20:20

So have you told your friend op?

It's defo a honest mistake. Because she's 30week so she would've had to scroll up few months worth of pictures, saw the scans and obviously assumed it's her ones she is posting, she prob didn't even look closely T the scam pic when she was posting, that happens sometimes when your so eager to post on social media, writing a caption, so she prob hasn't even realised and even if she has now she prob doesn't want to remove it due to the likes and comments it's already got

Lovethebubbles · 15/11/2020 20:29

I would definitely say something. But just keep it light and breezy. Send her a text and say, “do you know what, your scan pic came up on my newsfeed and I’ve just realised it’s mine! How funny! Must have been when I sent you mine and it’s saved to your camera roll”.
That way it’s not embarrassing for her.

LovelyIssues · 15/11/2020 21:06

Does it not have your names at the top? Just tell her and she can easily change the picture online, she can add the other picture (of her actual scan) and delete the other

Nikhedonia · 15/11/2020 21:14

@HeechulOppa

When my son was a few days old I posted a pic of him on Facebook - gorgeous pic of me cuddling him, gazed at it constantly. Sent it to friends, in laws, colleagues (including my male boss).

Six months later I noticed that in the picture my boob is extremely obviously visible next to my DS’s head. I still get full body cringes about it now, 7 years later.

My point being is that sometimes when you’re excited about a picture you don’t necessarily notice everything about the picture - you’re too focussed on what it represents.

And now I’m cringing again.

Oh dear lord! BlushBlushBlushBlush I'm cringing for you!
Sydney88 · 15/11/2020 21:19

Honestly OP, I’m not sure much would be gained by telling her - I personally would leave it. It’s not a big thing in the grand scheme of things.

Sydney88 · 15/11/2020 21:20

@Nikhedonia - omg I’m cringing for you 😱

Sydney88 · 15/11/2020 21:20

Correction - @HeechulOppa

Sorry @Nikhedonia

Warpdrive · 15/11/2020 21:37

Well I think you're over thinking this. She's clearly got baby brain, and made a mistake, which you can both laugh about when you tell her.

Stace99 · 15/11/2020 21:51

I’d want to know, if it was me. Like you’d said they should be her memories to look back on, if she finds out years later she might be really annoyed you didn’t tell her. I reckon she’ll notice at some point.

Daisylady10 · 15/11/2020 22:04

Id just say is that my ssan pic you posted
I don’t see the point in playing games trying to catch her out

PepsiMaxCherry · 15/11/2020 22:20

Hi OP, considering there isn't that much time between both of your pregnancies. Do you think that maybe she thought the pic was one of her scans?

Sastuk · 15/11/2020 22:21

I don’t think it matters too much, you say you think it was an honest mistake, for all you know she may have realised this too but it’s difficult to change it once a it’s out there. As for not having personal details on the scan (if that’s the case) my first scan didn’t have my name on as it was an early scan at 10 weeks at EPAU so people could easily have said I was lying, my second scan had my ex’s surname on as I hadn’t changed it by then I didn’t post it on social media as I didn’t see the point 3 weeks after the previous one although it is so much better quality. If I has posted it I would have cropped my name and details off. I’d leave it after all if she wanted to lie about being pregnant there are plenty of online scan images she could have used

Wheezeymcleazy · 16/11/2020 02:39

@LittleTruffle So do you now need to make sure you never post a memory of your own scans on SM ever again for fear of her noticing ? I think if you're truly close friends of 15 years then this is not a problem to mention. My husband bought me a photo frame with scan 1, scan 2 and first baby pic . My kids like to look at scan pics of themselves , especially as they're going to have a new sibling and it's a topic of interest. That would be so awkward with the wrong scan pic. Your friend not being told is going to make you look bad in the long run as she is going to feel completely stupid that no one feels close enough to her to tell her. If she's one to share her memories on SM year after year then you're in for the long haul of feeling like crap every year that you couldn't just be honest with her. It doesn't need to be public and it doesn't need to be accusatory. There doesn't need to be any friction at all. You clearly believe it's an accident so treat it as one before it's went on far too long and you're having to hide your own kids scans etc for fear of upsetting her.

Plmoknijb123 · 16/11/2020 07:31

Why the overthinking? Just tell her.

amispeakingenglish · 16/11/2020 08:05

Easy mistake to make, you are in a hurry to post and don't notice, I'd say something but making light of it and laughingly..... What a suspicious lot on this post! Maybe people are missing office gossip :)

Ddot · 16/11/2020 09:03

Tell her privately and make a bit of a joke about it. Wow u got baby brain early, have your picture ready

CannibalQueen · 16/11/2020 09:04

Let it go. In the greater scheme of things it's not important. Are you upset she got so many likes and you felt they belonged to you?

rubydoobydoo · 16/11/2020 09:08

My DH photos hopped some kittens onto a scan pic which I sent to a pregnant friend as a joke - she then accidentally sent it to her aunt not realising it wasn't her actual one, so easily done! Grin

Your friend has probably noticed by now especially if she's getting the same comments as you did - but is probably too embarrassed to change it.

Sunrainsnow · 16/11/2020 09:36

I was on the fence to begin with, but having thought about it you definitely need to tell her. I have used both Dd's scan pictures in photo books. I would be gutted to find out I had used the wrong picture.

whopooedinthepyrex · 16/11/2020 09:49

@LovelyIssues

Does it not have your names at the top? Just tell her and she can easily change the picture online, she can add the other picture (of her actual scan) and delete the other
Did you not bother to read any of the thread, or even just the OPs comments?

There is even a special button to just show what the OP has written.

Insanelysilver · 16/11/2020 11:37

As your scan picture was comical and unusual she’s blatantly done this ok purpose.
I’d point out the fact this is your scan picture to her so she knows you’ll call her out.
I’d keep Just keep an eye on a person like this going forward. X

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 16/11/2020 12:11

All new born babies look the same to me never mind when they're in utero.Grin
I'd say tell her, but Message her privately though.

lollylimejuice · 16/11/2020 16:05

@LittleTruffle you've had some nice comments and some which would have drive me up the wall. Its easier if everybody just reads the OP posts.
As for what you should do. If you can't meet up and drop it into the conversation that it's amazing both your scans look so alike, 'here's mine, show me yours'..... I suggest a kindly text or email. Mentioning you've seen hers, here's yours, aren't they alike etc. Good luck, you're trying to be a kind friend, she would want to know surely, I would.

satnighttakeaway · 16/11/2020 16:09

@Awwlookatmybabyspider

All new born babies look the same to me never mind when they're in utero.Grin I'd say tell her, but Message her privately though.
I thought I was in a minority not to be able to tell one scan from another but do you need a trip to Barnard Castle for an eye test Grin

No way do all new borns look the same

Original poster
LittleTruffle · 16/11/2020 16:09

@CannibalQueen

Let it go. In the greater scheme of things it's not important. Are you upset she got so many likes and you felt they belonged to you?
Literally just rude!

If you had bothered to READ MY UPDATES, you will have hopefully understood that I am not that bothered, but was trying to be a good friend and work out what would be in my friends best interests.

You know the old saying: "If you haven't got anything nice to say..."

OP posts: