To not be sure how we never have any bloody money?!

[ThePinkGuitar]

I know lots of friends that earn the same or bit less that get to have holidays aboard, lots of days out beautiful home.
We are nearly at the end of renovating our house but no money to finish it off. Dh earns 40k plus does lots of side jobs so probably on average another £150 pm. I earn 28k (22.5 hours pro rota).
We have 2 children never have been able to take them on fancy trips. We don’t wear expensive clothes, no cosmetic costs (dye my own hair and use Rimmel make up lol).
We have an average car, pay 1k a month mortgage. We spend a lot of groceries.
But seriously where is all the money going I genuinely do not understand?!

Should add we are paying off 15k debt and I have 3k owed on credit cards. We are chipping away at but it seems never ending

If you genuinely don't know where your money is going then you need to write down every penny you spend for at least a month and add it all up. I really do mean every penny as well, it's kind of an eye opener.

Given you've got nearly £20k of debt, I would presume that's where it goes. Or at least that's where it should be going if you have any financial sense.

Write a list of what you're buying. Sure it’ll become clear where it’s going.

I’d suggest doing a really detailed spreadsheet showing all outgoings and income. You’ll probably be surprised at how much is frittered away where it doesn’t need to be.

Have you sat down with some bank statements and actually added up how much you spend on just general little day to day expenses? Like coffees out, sandwich at lunchtime in the office, travel, the odd takeaways, phone, gym, little trips out to the corner shop to pick up milk where you've ended up also getting some chocolate and a magazine or something?
Maybe analysing and classifying everything spent over the last few months (or for a few months pre covid) would help?

Are you paying off any other debts?

Also are your children in nursery or childcare? That eats up a lot of money

Open a spreadsheet and write down every penny this month and next month and the year. Insurance, car costs, birthday presents, dentist, school clubs- everything

So what is your actual net every month ?

Do you have credit card debt ?

Do the children do expensive hobbies ?

The money saving expert forum has threads dedicated to spending and saving, its very good for tips and budgets.

If i were you i'd get a notepad and write down all your income and all outgoings, before food and non essentials .

After that for the next couple of weeks write down absolutely every penny you spend on food, coffees etc etc. Your husband will need to be on board too tho.

I also wouldn't compare to others as their holidays etc could be on credit cards or other debt or perhaps they have got inheritance.

The main thing is you are managing and not accruing debts

You earn more than double what we do. You need to look at where its going and post on here and people can help you get it down.

Do you eat. 28k or nearer 16k? It’s not clear from your post whether the full time earnings are 28k or actual earnings.
You need a budget to see where it is actually going. You say you spend a lot on groceries how much?
We earn similar amounts (DH 44k and me 19k (part time) and pay £800 a month in nursery fees - do you have childcare costs? We have holidays abroad but no house renovations so maybe that’s where it’s all going?

I think the debt should be mentioned in your OP, how much interest is on these cards and is there any way of cutting it down (have you looked at Martin Lewis's page?)

When dh and I earned 60k between us with £950 mortgage and 3dc we were going to Canada and America on holiday for 3 weeks. No idea what you’re spending your money on but then we’ve never had a loan other than mortgage and credit cards are used and paid off the next month.

Yabu not to be sure how you have no money.

The answer is to work out where its going as you do have the money, so its an outgoings issue. Get on it!

Missed the update.

Sorry I get confused by pro rata! Would your full time be 28k or is that your part time salary which would be more full time? If so, can you increase your hours to smash the debt?
What is your take home and what is your expenditure, then we might be able to help a bit more!

Surely if you just keep a track of every single thing you spend for a month, it will be pretty clear where it's going? I don't know what else you can do to understand your own budget...

OP. The only way to know where your money goes is to get all the info from your bank accounts and analyse it.

This is really easy nowadays with online banking.

I bet you'll be really surprised at how much you fritter on seemingly small things.

What’s your net?

How much is the debt repayment?

sorry cross posted with your updates, if you have debts id concentrate on getting them cleared before worrying about holidays and nice house stuff.

once clear then you can start using the money you had for debt payments for nice things instead.

but as i said, go over to the money saving expert forums, theyre fab!

18k of debt is a lot. What are your monthly repayments?

Op I was like you but between dh and I far far less money, but wonder where it went.

So we pinned it down..
Working in going out.

What's coming in. What HAS to go out.

Bill's, food, petrol. Pin it down what do you need to spend on these.

Then what's left.
From what's left, break it down into essentials. Then sort out what you can spend on each weekend, holidays etc.

Seems obvious to me - the house renovation which presumably led to the debt.

Also - big mortgage? Finances vary so much depending on when you got on the property ladder and so how much equity you have.

Childcare? A lot of families have a family member who does the odd day a week of childcare which for one pre schooler and one in primary adds up to £3000 a year.

There's your answer 18k of debt