To not be sure how we never have any bloody money?!

[ThePinkGuitar]

I know lots of friends that earn the same or bit less that get to have holidays aboard, lots of days out beautiful home.
We are nearly at the end of renovating our house but no money to finish it off. Dh earns 40k plus does lots of side jobs so probably on average another £150 pm. I earn 28k (22.5 hours pro rota).
We have 2 children never have been able to take them on fancy trips. We don’t wear expensive clothes, no cosmetic costs (dye my own hair and use Rimmel make up lol).
We have an average car, pay 1k a month mortgage. We spend a lot of groceries.
But seriously where is all the money going I genuinely do not understand?!

It sounds like you’ve been paying for renovations and servicing debt. Though obviously other outgoings/lifestyle makes a big difference.

What do you mean you can't understand? Do you mean you havent actually written down what you spend or you have written it down but you still don't understand?

Surely you must have checked your bank statements before asking the internet

Why don't you know where the money is going?

You’ve renovated and you’ve got £18k of debt; which isn’t small. I expect you’d feel like you’d had more money without those... but if second the advice to make a budget and record how you actually spend money for a month or two.

www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/tools/budget-planner

“Where is all my money going?”

^ you have nearly 20k in debt... I can hazard a guess you’re likely pretty bad with money

Same here OP. I think all our money goes on food tbh. We have 6 people at home full time now due to Covid and keeping them all fed is really £££
Am sending you sympathy, since I can't send you tips.

We use Monzo and the app clearly categorises your spending into groceries, transport, bills, shopping, gifts etc and you get a summary every month. You can set your budget every month overall or per category and it shows you if you are getting close or have gone over that amount. Something like this is a good place to start. It's amazing how little things add up like PP said, coffees, lunch, top up shops, a few things from Amazon etc.

I am same as you OP, and when we worked it all out recently we came to the conclusion that we were spending mainly on our priorities and didn't make many changes. (saving for uni, subscriptions we enjoy). Outgoings are just pretty high. Big holidays are usually saved for over three years (the year before, the year we go, and then a little on the credit card which we rarely do) or because we have been given some money. I know we could spend less on clothes, random amazon purchases, present budgets and sports gear. Some couples I know look at costs for every purchase very closely together, and while I can't be bothered, I do realise that I will think nothing of making three or four purchases of something for £30 while I will rarely make an expensive purchase over £50 and I think penny pinching the small purchases while buying quality for longevity might be better.

Well check where your money is going then? You can look at bank statements, do a spreadsheet or use an app- I use Emma and it’s been great, it tracks everything you spend and automatically categorises it.

Your mortgage, debts, renovation costs. Plus day to day living costs, childcare, treats.

That's where it's going.
The only way to find out if there's a way of cutting your costs is to do a budget.
Then prioritise debts versus renovations versus treats versus savings.

Also debt doesn't necessarily mean you are bad with money. Sometimes it's unavoidable, if you needed something and didn't have savings in the first place. It's easy to avoid debt it if you were earning well and didn't desperately need a new boiler or car before you could accrue savings.

Im not sure there is really one answer...Some people are really incredible at budgeting and finding deals on everything. Other people are permanently living off their credit cards/overdrafts, other people have never had debts so are in a good place savings wise. Then there are those people that got a helping hand from their parents or grandparents, or maybe had a house bought for them, or maybe have an epic mortgage deal. The list goes on.

I have had a boom and bust approach to money, which is only just starting to change (last 3 years). In case it helps you, I have found setting a realistic saving amount each month that is whisked out of my account before i can see it helps to create positive change. Then everytime the savings pot gets to a certain amount, I ensure the overflow is shoved into a longer term savings account that is hard to access. It is surprising how fast you can save a nice amount of cash like this for a day out or holiday.

Budgeting and planning also helps, particularly making joint financial goals. My husband is happy for me to put all the effort into savings and then go on holidays and days out paid by this but that is obviously annoying for me, so I make sure he contributes a set amount each month too.

For some people on low incomes this wouldn't work at all but you and your husband definitely have the ability to save (on your groceries by the sound of it).

I hope you get your house finished soon and you get a nice holiday too. Sounds like you deserve it!

This is a nice easy way to see where it all goes OP

www.stoozing.com/soa.php

Well obviously excessive groceries and debts is the issue.

You need a budget. I do a zero based budget every month...earn a lot less than you and still have healthy savings.

You just need to sit down, figure it all out and then both agree to stick to the budget. You wont know yourself after..

We have pretty much the same income and mortgage payments. We have spare money and save quite a bit.

We spend about £100 a week on food maybe a bit more for special treats. We still go out for meals occasionally and day trips with the kids and can definitely afford holidays. We are quite comfortable on our salary’s. Kids are in nursery 3 days a week (one is full and the other in 30 free hours).

What outgoings do you have? I would assume you bring in 3k a month maybe a bit more.

I would assume 1.5k on mortgage, council tax, water, gas, electric, internet (all household bills) which should leave you with 1.5k for cars, child car and other luxury’s. In a good month we can save 1k.

As for people complaining, she’s asking for advice. Yes it’s a large salary compared to some but they are obviously spending too much somewhere. People live within their means. Give OP a break!

Honestly I think the debt will be a big factor. Presumably people on similar incomes to you but with no debt will have far more spare cash each month. Make clearing the debt a top priority - it’s amazing how much you lose in interest over time.

@Meowchickameowmeow

If you genuinely don't know where your money is going then you need to write down every penny you spend for at least a month and add it all up. I really do mean every penny as well, it's kind of an eye opener.

This. We are fortunately not short of money, but genuinely didn’t have a clue until lockdown just how much we spent on eating out, coffees etc. Not even special eating out, just Pizza Express, Nando’s et al, and the local (average) food pub. We have replaced our windows and kitchen with what we have saved this year.

@ssd

Yawn. Another family on over 60k money about money. Mn at its finest.

I don't understand this post, £60k for a family of four in London is just about enough to survive..

How much cash do you spend, OP? Or is most of your spending on card/DDs/bank transfers etc?

No idea OP
Probably the debt

When we earned a joint income of £60-70k we felt very flush and saved around £500 a month with a mortgage of £1000 a month

Now as I am on maternity leave our joint income has dropped considerably but we are keeping afloat

@ssd
Yawn. Another family on over 60k money about money. Mn at its finest.

If you work her wage out as sh'e given pro rota take off deductions the will clear absolutely nowhere near 60k.
Take off mortgage 15k debt repayments fixed like utilities and council tax cost and the fact they will get zero tax credits pay for everything like prescriptions and eye tests they won't have backloads of cash under the bed each month.

@ssd

Yawn! Another self righteous poster pretending that families receiving £1500+ pm in UC, subsidies and low income funding aren’t bringing home the equivalent of a decent full time wage. Unless you’ve actually stood on both sides of this fence maybe keep your judgments to yourself.

As someone who grew up in poverty and now has a ‘high’ income I promise you it’s not anywhere near as cushy as I’d expected. A wage of £50k sounds like a lot until you deduct pension, student loan repayments and factor in having to pay for EVERYTHING because you don’t even qualify for 30 hours childcare.

Person A with £1750 a month made up of UC/CB/HB, 30 hours funding, FSM’s
Person B with £2000 a month from a full time wage but having to pay for everything themselves.

MN - God not another person B complaining about how hard being rich is

Buy supermarket own
Buy basics, don't buy steak, salmon, Ice cream, ciabatta, strawberries in December
Learn to cook and cook what is in season
Don't order takeaways
Halve the alcohol you buy
Stop buying anything you don't actually need - makeup, magazines, candles, fancy crisps, air freshners
Have shoes and clothes repaired/reheeled rather than buying new
Don't buy premium tyres, petrol etc, buy the next one down
Cancel pay TV, gym membership, milk & veg deliveries
Do your own cleaning, wash your own car, walk your own dog, cut your own lawn
Etc etc