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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think "who the fuck do you think you are?"

293 replies

CrotchBurn · 13/11/2020 17:20

Okay I need to rant its friday and I have done 3 x 10 hour days back to back, I need wine and to release my anger

FYI this isnt for when its friends or family.

It's about people calling you: banks, clients or colleagues, insurance wanting to check something, whatever.

Its 2020. I'm sorry if you dont like it, but when you call me, you are intruding. We have WhatsApp, we have email. I get instant notifications on my phone. When you call me, you drag me out of whatever I'm doing (working usually) to demand my attention.

If it's about my bank account then guess what? Use your fucking fancy messaging system on the platform I'm assuming that's what it's there for and that way you will have a record.

If it's about work, guess what? I'm fucking working right now. On something that doesnt have to do with you. So send me an email and wait your turn. It's not all about you. And again: I would prefer to have what you say in writing.

Ooh and by the way you know voice messages? Yeah I dont listen to those. So you chat away but just FYI I listen to my voice messages except I dont, I just dial in and then hit 3 or whatever it is repeatedly until they are all deleted.

So dont waste my fucking time and stop jostling into my personal space. Seeing the missed call icon on my phone puts me on edge. If you are bored during lock down and need a human voice then I suggest you call a relative or friend. I AM BUSY. Oh and also: please dont email saying "would it be possible to arrange a call to discuss?". It wouldnt actually, see above.

Am I abnormal to hate this this much??

OP posts:
ThistleWitch · 13/11/2020 20:43

@Liftup

yabu/unhinged
i think you called it!
user1496146479 · 13/11/2020 20:45

@mumulala

Lol I feel your pain 🤣 also a grumpy whatsit here who doesn't like phone calls. My work uses Skype, teams and zoom. Neither one of these registers when I'm busy on the other one. The people I work with presumably see my MS teams is in busy, then spot that my Skype shows available, so they call me in that. Yeah - there's still only one of me! I put the Skype on DND but it clicks itself back to available from time to time. I prefer emails and always prioritise and respond reasonably quickly. Skyping me is jumping the queue, and I won't apologise for ignoring. Oh that felt good
I have this problem too!! Updated my Skype status to say 'In a Teams Call' permanently
Thecobwebsarewinning · 13/11/2020 20:47

Ignoring voicemails is the equivalent of throwing away an unopened letter or deleting emails without reading them. Why would you do that? Fair enough to delay listening to them until you are ready but not listening to them is childish.

I used to work on the weekend team for a big telecoms company. At a team meeting one day a colleague was complaining that the weekend crew wasn’t kept properly informed about new procedures etc, that we were treated as less important than them and it stopped us making progress. Someone pointed out that we were on the same email group as the entire department so anything communicated to the weekday crew was also communicated to us. She dismissed it with ‘I don’t have time to read all that shit’.

Not surprisingly she never made any progress in the company but I don’t think it was down to lack of communication from management!

DulcimerOfDestiny · 13/11/2020 20:54

I don't understand the problem with voicemail. I'd rather have a voicemail than someone calling repeatedly and refusing to leave a message. With a message, I can listen at my convenience, then take as long as I need to absorb it and formulate a response (or think up an excuse). People who won't leave a message give me anxiety, because they're insisting on putting me on the spot with no advance warning of what they're asking.

PinkFondantFancy · 13/11/2020 20:55

[quote CrotchBurn]@Warpdrive
🤔 Personally I reply to emails instantly...[/quote]
This is your problem right here. Stop doing that, set aside chunks of time to get what you're trying to get done, actually done. Because otherwise all you're doing is busy work and you never get time to focus on the deep thoughtful stuff that you're actually on a deadline for.

It's hard to get your head around but we're not talking hours and hours, even just checking email once per hour will revolutionise your productivity.

hellymissy · 13/11/2020 20:56

Op you're not abnormal I could have written this post 😂. I agree people should email and not chase you after six hours of not getting a reply! People want to bleed your soul these days and want everything now now now. It's a pisstake, I agree!! It actually gives me anxiety

FreezerBird · 13/11/2020 21:00

I agree OP and it is even worse when 'private number' comes up on the phone. If you aren't going to tell me who you are there is no chance I am going to speak to you.

If I did that I'd miss all the hospital calls I get for my DD, including several lots of surgery.

I can understand phone calls being annoying when you're trying to get stuff done, but surely part of the answer to that is to put it on silent, and then check your voicemails at your convenience. I don't know why you wouldn't do that? It also weeds out the 'accident that wasn't your fault' calls as they never leave voicemails IME.

PrtScn · 13/11/2020 21:06

Just out of interest, how old is everyone that hates phones? Are you all young? A phone call is a request and not a demand. Answer it if you want, ignore it otherwise. I personally get pissed off with people texting me to arrange things. It's much quicker to sort out in a phone call. Then the people that get arsey when you haven't instantly read and responded to their stupid text/email/tweet/Bookface message can fuck right off as well. I will read and respond in my own time.

TheDowagerDuchess · 13/11/2020 21:11

I feel like that about phone calls a lot.

I think i might have adhd though. The way you talk about being “pulled out” of what you’re doing sounds familiar but I think it’s unusual.

TheDowagerDuchess · 13/11/2020 21:11

I’m 42 to the pp who asked

Gwenhwyfar · 13/11/2020 21:24

"Email is shown to be the biggest distraction to getting work done."

But answering emails IS getting work done.

TonMoulin · 13/11/2020 21:29

It depends @Gwenhwyfar. Some of them are just wasting. Time, esp when one person has decided to put 50 people in copy and actually the email has litttle to do with you.
An email to organise a meeting that ends up with 20 emails backwards and forward to agree on a time is a waste when a phone call would have solved that in 2 mins.
Etc..

user1496146479 · 13/11/2020 21:29

@Gwenhwyfar

"Email is shown to be the biggest distraction to getting work done."

But answering emails IS getting work done.

Yes but the OP said phone calls are distracting her from the task she is doing..... then says she replies to emails 'instantly ' so therefore still distracting her from what she is doing.

Separately if your job just entails responding to emails all day crack on, but for others, the bulk of the work is outside of emails.... so in that case responding to emails all the times means the heavy work doesn't get done, only transactional email replies

user1496146479 · 13/11/2020 21:30

@TonMoulin

It depends *@Gwenhwyfar*. Some of them are just wasting. Time, esp when one person has decided to put 50 people in copy and actually the email has litttle to do with you. An email to organise a meeting that ends up with 20 emails backwards and forward to agree on a time is a waste when a phone call would have solved that in 2 mins. Etc..
This!!
ThistleWitch · 13/11/2020 21:37

Its 2020. I'm sorry if you dont like it, but when you call me, you are intruding. We have WhatsApp, we have email. I get instant notifications on my phone. When you call me, you drag me out of whatever I'm doing (working usually) to demand my attention.

If it's about work, guess what? I'm fucking working right now. On something that doesnt have to do with you. So send me an email and wait your turn. It's not all about you. And again: I would prefer to have what you say in writing.

I mean, at least if you have this attitude at work, you're unlikely to have this job for much longer - get over yourself, if someone has the decency not to just hang up when they hit your vm, then listen! you are extremely rude

Brefugee · 13/11/2020 21:40

if you don't want people to call you, don't give them your number. Change your voicemail to say that you never listen to them and they should write you a letter.
And then take a chill pill. It's a phone. You don't have to answer it but if you've given people your number yabu

Time2change2 · 13/11/2020 21:42

@PrtScn

Just out of interest, how old is everyone that hates phones? Are you all young? A phone call is a request and not a demand. Answer it if you want, ignore it otherwise. I personally get pissed off with people texting me to arrange things. It's much quicker to sort out in a phone call. Then the people that get arsey when you haven't instantly read and responded to their stupid text/email/tweet/Bookface message can fuck right off as well. I will read and respond in my own time.
42 and hate phone calls unless pre arranged. A text message can get it sorted to the point without waffling on for ages, which is what usually happens on the phone. I can also respond in my own time, not on the spot. I would dispute that a phone call is an invitation. A ringing phone begs to be answered and then you are wondering what is was that the person wanted. You can’t really get it out of your head until you phone back so it’s not really an invitation. With a message, it gets straight to the point of what the other person wants or needs
ilovesooty · 13/11/2020 21:45

@puffinkoala

Oh and also: please dont email saying "would it be possible to arrange a call to discuss?". It wouldnt actually, see above

I disagree with that bit though OP. Sometimes a call is better and it's fine if arranged in advance. (That's right - arranged. Not "jumped on").

That's the bit of the OP which I think is really unreasonable.
JoeCalFuckingZaghe · 13/11/2020 21:45

I’ve often found those that insist on emails and won’t take phone calls ignore the emails.

CandyLeBonBon · 13/11/2020 21:48

Do you run your own business op or are you employed?

TonMoulin · 13/11/2020 21:55

@Time2change2 what’s the issue with answering in the spot? We do that all the time when face to face. Confused

MrsTumbletap · 13/11/2020 21:56

I'm with you 100% OP!

ilovesushi · 13/11/2020 21:56

I prefer the phone to zoom. My days are endless zoom now. Lovely to have a work chat on the phone instead of getting strangely mesmerised by seeing myself looking slightly plastically after turning on the 'touch up my appearance' button.

TonMoulin · 13/11/2020 21:57

Lol at arranging a phone call in advance.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen that happening in RL unless there is an issue with time difference.
Otherwise, people just... call.

BonnieDundee · 13/11/2020 21:59

Youd hate my job. Phone never stops.