To think "who the fuck do you think you are?"

[CrotchBurn]

Okay I need to rant its friday and I have done 3 x 10 hour days back to back, I need wine and to release my anger

FYI this isnt for when its friends or family.

It's about people calling you: banks, clients or colleagues, insurance wanting to check something, whatever.

Its 2020. I'm sorry if you dont like it, but when you call me, you are intruding. We have WhatsApp, we have email. I get instant notifications on my phone. When you call me, you drag me out of whatever I'm doing (working usually) to demand my attention.

If it's about my bank account then guess what? Use your fucking fancy messaging system on the platform I'm assuming that's what it's there for and that way you will have a record.

If it's about work, guess what? I'm fucking working right now. On something that doesnt have to do with you. So send me an email and wait your turn. It's not all about you. And again: I would prefer to have what you say in writing.

Ooh and by the way you know voice messages? Yeah I dont listen to those. So you chat away but just FYI I listen to my voice messages except I dont, I just dial in and then hit 3 or whatever it is repeatedly until they are all deleted.

So dont waste my fucking time and stop jostling into my personal space. Seeing the missed call icon on my phone puts me on edge. If you are bored during lock down and need a human voice then I suggest you call a relative or friend. I AM BUSY. Oh and also: please dont email saying "would it be possible to arrange a call to discuss?". It wouldnt actually, see above.

Am I abnormal to hate this this much??

If you’re already on the phone and another call comes through (and it’s not an emergency), I think it’s very rude and self-important if they don’t disconnect. They hear the busy tone.

Haven't read the whole thread but totally with you OP. Phone calls are needlessly disruptive - if you want to speak to me, email/whatsapp/text me and sort out a time. Otherwise you just play phone tag and what's the point?

Also hate voicemail. If people just said "hi puffin it's penguin, please call on number" (and say number twice, slowly so I don't have to listen to the message twice) it would be fine, but they don't, they leave a long garbled message but whizz through the phone number so I have to listen to it again.

Oh and also: please dont email saying "would it be possible to arrange a call to discuss?". It wouldnt actually, see above

I disagree with that bit though OP. Sometimes a call is better and it's fine if arranged in advance. (That's right - arranged. Not "jumped on").

Lol I feel your pain 🤣 also a grumpy whatsit here who doesn't like phone calls. My work uses Skype, teams and zoom. Neither one of these registers when I'm busy on the other one. The people I work with presumably see my MS teams is in busy, then spot that my Skype shows available, so they call me in that. Yeah - there's still only one of me!
I put the Skype on DND but it clicks itself back to available from time to time. I prefer emails and always prioritise and respond reasonably quickly. Skyping me is jumping the queue, and I won't apologise for ignoring. Oh that felt good

I don't think you are being unreasonable - when you are under time pressure and you are good at managing yourself within those limits it can be annoying to be interrupted by phones etc. Here's what I do to limit stuff like this - some of this has already probably been said:

On my iPhone which I use for most calls biz and personal I have separated the important personal ones from the rest. Anyone who absolutely has to be able to get through - close family for emergencies etc are tagged as 'call even if phone is on silent'. These family members also know that I'd much rather they text or email unless it's an emergency. Then while working I put the phone on Do not Disturb.

Get a Google Voice number and connect it to your phone. Set it up so voicemails forward to Google Voice and set up Google Voice to transcribe the voicemails. Then once a day you can simply open Google Voice and skim read down the transcriptions and only focus on the important ones - ignoring any spam or sales calls.

Definitely add contact names and numbers for people you know you may want to talk to into your phone. And then start training people how you like to be contacted. Change your voicemail to let them know you will not be checking the messages for a while and they should email or text if urgent.

I also use Boomerang for Gmail to pause my inbox or send email away to return the next day if I don't want to see it sitting in my inbox.

Would you prefer a voicemail if someone was calling you about a family emergency?

I work in a role (IT support) where we frequently need to phone people who refuse to return/answer our call and demand their issue be fixed via email/text message. It's annoying and counterproductive. An issue that would take us a few minutes to solve over the phone/via remote connection can often take dozens of emails to solve.

Somethings, especially things where the information needing to be exchanged may change depending on circumstances, are better done over the phone.

im kinda middle ground.

i dont answer unknown numbers as if its important they'll leave a voicemail.

i DO check my voicemail, and i think thats a bit silly not to.. you can call/email them at your convenience, its not an immediate call to respond!

I can’t understand any anybody would want to speak to such a foul mouthed aggressive person like yourself.

My voicemail actually says, please text or email, these voice messages are not checked

I've done that and STILL people left messages. I don't have voicemail on my personal mobile phone, but I wasn't able to do that on my work mobile phone a couple of years ago. What I really wanted to do was have a message saying "this is puffin, please email or call office" but I had to allow messages to be left if I did that so of course some people left messages. Whereas I have had the option with office landline phones to switch the facility to leave a message off.

I'm 37, and I hate phone calls. The only thing thats worse than phone calls are voicemails leaving phone numbers, so you have to find a pen and paper and write it down! I have one very good friend whose older who phones me for chats but she is the only person I welcome a phone call from.

I like texts. Most of my friends are on FB and can keep up with me that way. Whatsapp is good if you're sending photos.

But seriously, FRO with a FB call, Skype call or Whatsapp call. An acquaintance who wanted me to do some work free for her phoned me in Whatsapp at 9.30 pm on a Friday night. I admit I was a bit short with her. Another chap wanting free advice phoned me daytime on FB. I didn't answer. A guy I dated kept leaving me voice messages on whatsapp which were a pain to listen to as you had to stop everything and stay still to listen. I dumped him (also because he was a bit creepy).

Work calls, are obviously separate from this, but work only phone me if it's really important.

And some of us live in mobile not-spots. And have crap broadband. I sort of get it if they are calling your mobile number and you're on it all the time: it must be harder to ignore than the landline, which is usually a scam call anyway. I mean, seriously, if they already have a mobile number for you as a primary contact it must be easier to contact you electronically.

But there are a lot of us out here who dread the increasing reliance on mobiles as the sole means of contact because it WON'T work for us.

It's the lazy one-size-fits-all approach by organisations - and HMG - that always damns some of us to exclusion.

A friend’s dad explained this perfectly to me once. It’s an invitation, not a command.

He was referring to the doorbell, not a phone call but the premise to me is still the same.

They’re not demanding your attention because you simply don’t have to answer the phone.

If you're in sales, telephone is still the best way to get in touch with people as email is too easy to ignore

I kind of get it. But the anger. 🤣
I imagine if you had lived 200 years ago, you would have shot carrier pigeons out of the sky. "How f*king dare they interrupt me with f*king birds!"

Gosh, I'd love to do just three 10-hour days in a row....

If you don't want calls to a landline ( only way I can talk to elderly relatives and the only way they can contact me) then disconnect your landline.
If you get calls on your mobile then don't accept them.
Job done.

It’s a generation thing. A phone call doesn't infringe in anything anymore than WhatsApp etc... with its notifications. It still beeps at you to require your attention. And you are still expected to answer straight away....

But tbh with work, things are often done and solved much more quickly over the phone than emails.
As for the bank etc... they have my home number which I’m not answering unless I recognise the number. That solves about 90% of the issues/unwanted calls.

if yo9u dont answer why cant they leave a message

i actually hate it when they dont then i know its sales etc

I have to say I’m wondering why some people are finding it so hard to SPEAK to someone (phone/WhatsApp...).
What’s the difference with text or emails if you are still feeling you have to answer a text or WhatsApp at 10.00pm?

I’m the other way around. Call me if you want. I don’t care. But don’t expect me to answer a text within minutes or after 8.00pm

[quote CrotchBurn]@Warpdrive
🤔 Personally I reply to emails instantly...[/quote]
Replying to each email instantly isn't very productive!! Surely that pulls you away from your work more frequently. Email is shown to be the biggest distraction to getting work done.
Or else you don't get many emails!

I agree. I hate it when people call me. I'd rather read and respond in my own time thanks.

I completely agree with you, esp the emails can we have a call to discuss, argh

Are you my secret twin?

@Ariadne

Which app, if I may ask?

Hullomail.

I started using it when I switched from iPhone to Android and discovered to my horror Android didn’t have visual voicemail. The text feature was added a few years ago and it’s so great. It’s a paid for app but not crazy money.